Would it be OK to ask when he wants to get engaged?

My boyfriend and I have been together quite awhile now, and are very in love. He has lived about an hour away the whole time we've been together, but he is moving to my hometown in a couple of weeks to be closer to me. Initially, we had planned to live together once he moved here. But, both sets of our parents are very traditional, and they were against it. They want us to at least be engaged first. Now, we have had the marriage conversation before, and its what we both want... but I have no clue when that's going to be. Sometimes we talk, and it sounds like two years, and sometimes it sounds like 7 months. I am ready to get to that part of our life together. Would it be wrong of me to ask him when he might want to get engaged? I'm not looking for a specific date... just a timeline. I don't want to wait around, being antsy, thinking its going to be this fall if he has no intention of doing it for a couple more years. Is that ok?

a side note... I am 21 and he is 27. My parents are allowing me to move back home, and let him stay with us for 4 months to see how everything goes. They want to get some good "family time" in


Most Helpful Girl

  • Well it sounds as if he has already agreed to it happening. Perhaps he is only waiting for the right time to ask you formally. Maybe you should wait until he is settled down in your hometown and has everything ready for you to move in with him. If he still does not say anything by that time then I don't see what wrong with telling him how you feel.

    I was in a similar situation. My parents are very traditional too and I wanted to move in with my boyfriend. They would not let me but I did it anyway and it was one of the greatest learning experiences of my life. I ended up moving back in with them. But now I strongly believe that people should first experience what it is like to live together before getting married. It can be a great surprise.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Don't. If he has already agreed to marrying you, then just let him do it on his own terms. Maybe he's saving up money for the ring, trying to surprise you, is thinking about it, but might not be as ready as you, etc. Any number of things might be keeping him from proposing. Just wait for it. He'll come around.

    • she didn't say anything about proposal. she is not asking him to propose or when he will.

      she wants to have an idea of when they will be engaged.because it affects HER life.

      they are agreed to it. she wants to discuss it. he's not doing her a favor by getting engaged. there's no reason she should have to wait around , in the dark, ike his appendage--while he plans.

      it is something they both want it is something that involves both of them. it is something, they both have a right to a say in.

    • Well, then, considering this comment below, if you just want to know but what TIME you will be engaged, then do it if you want. Just say "Will we be engaged by this fall?" or something like that. But as far as a specific date, I still stand by my first answer.

What Girls Said 2

  • I think, its fair to discuss i. it does not only affect him. it affects both of u. I think you should both decide. you have a right to be involved, in your own life.

  • I don't think it's wrong. I think if you think you've reached that level in your relationship, it's prefectly OK to talk it out