How long do you plan to get married to your lover after meeting each other for the first time?

There are friends I know who get married a year after meeting, but I know a couple who've been together 8 years are yet to be married.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Some people just don't plan or prioritize getting married.

    I've only been with my current guy for four months and marriage isn't even really a thought. For one because legal marriage isn't really a priority for me [though long term commitment and loyalty are], and for two because we're not even to the 'I love you' stage yet. Rather, it hasn't been said or exchanged yet. I at this point honestly do love him, I'm just waiting for the right time to say it, because with the way he is with me and how things are going for us lately I feel like he does love me too, and he hasn't said it either.

    We both had disastrous relationships that ended badly prior to us meeting and getting together, mine lasting a little over half a year and his spanning like four years and having a child together. His definitely left him with more baggage, and he told me early on that he's not LOOKING to fall in love again, but wants to see where this goes with me, and we'll cross that bridge when/if we get to it. Because of that, even though I do love him, I want to show it but keep the words to myself until he feels comfortable expressing the words himself first, because I want it to be natural to him and I don't want him to feel pressured like he should say it back if I were to tell him first before he's ready to say it. As far as marriage, if/when that ever does become something we want to talk about and consider, it probably wouldn't be until well after our first 'I love yous' are exchanged, it wouldn't be until a couple years down the line so we can be SURE we want that with each other and that we can stand the test of time, that I won't be like his ex was or he like mine. So far we're both drastically different from each others' exes, but things can change and only time will tell.

    I wouldn't push for or bring up marriage unless it was something that was really important to him and he wanted that with me, because legal marriage isn't a priority for me otherwise, it's more or less just a contract as far as I'm concerned. I'd be perfectly content maybe exchanging some kind of 'commitment rings' eventually, nothing super fancy or expensive, and just being together happily committed and in love with each other for years and years.


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What Girls Said 2

  • I knew I wanted to marry my boyfriend from before we were officially together. It's been almost 2 years now and we both feel that way, still. We didn't plan anything yet because it's not the best time (long distance relationship, studies etc).

  • depends on the couple


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