What's marriage like 10+ years in?

Marriage, the way I see it, means you make a commitment to go through life together. With someone you truly love through thick and thin, and have a deep bond with. Someone you grow with and makes you want to be a better person, for yourself and your partner.

There's something that doesn't add up in my mind, something I can't seem to grasp. How come people even get close to (wanting) a divorce, or cheating?

There's so many wonderful things I could imagine my future partner to be. I always tell myself I wouldn't just marry anyone, if I truly want to go down on one knee there must be a really good reason as to why. And that's why I can't even comprehend betraying that.

10, 20, 30 years in, what's it like? I know it doesn't feel like puppy love, but is there still a strong feeling of "I love this person"? Any insights would be appreciated :)


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I honestly don't know because this society is so obsessed with getting screwed that the sanctity of marriage is deteriorating.Now you have a bunch of girls who feed into the idea that people should just seek to get f*cked and I think it's really destroying the concept of marriage and true relationships. The people of this era are overall just sl*tty, looking out for their own genital, and too f*cked up.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Unfortunately it seems as if marriage doesn't seem to last now-a-days. I was married for 10 years and was told "we grew apart". And I'm not getting the house and my ex's future pay. Where are people getting this information from? We both worked, we bought things together, and there were times when one of us were underemployed or not employed (him). We're selling the house, we have no kids so he doesn't have to worry about custody, and we're splitting everything down the middle. He keeps his retirement, I keep my retirement. If I die he can draw on my SS and if he dies likewise. We made roughly the same amount of money throughout the marriage so its fair to split everything evenly.

    If you don't want someone to take you to the cleaners write a prenup. I know that's what I'm going to do the next time.

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What Guys Said 1

  • I hate to break it to you, but no man in a Western country should be considering marriage as an option. Here are just 3 reasons cited by men in the Rutgers report on why it is a bad idea to get married. Each of these reasons can be expanded upon quite a bit. link

    1. They can get sex without marriage;

    2. They can enjoy "a wife" through cohabitation; and,

    3. They want to avoid divorce and its financial risks.

    And to answer your question about what it's like 10 years into marriage. Well, over 90% of couples do not make it to 10 years of marriage. So being divorced is what it's like. And here is what divorce is like for the man.

    Divorce is only a happy day for women, because they get everything. And for this reason, men should not marry, and under no circumstances should they give a woman children.

    There is no risk for a woman to marry. If it doesn't work out, she still gets the house, at least half the assets, the kids, and at least half of hubby's future disposable income for the next 20 years. If a man marries and it doesn't work out, he loses it all. So while the feminists keep pounding the same rhetoric of "empowered" females choosing not to marry, what makes considerably more sense is that - given the huge risk of losing it all - men are simply choosing not to enter a one-sided contract that makes no sense. You can find "marriage strike" all over the blogosphere.

    Yes, there are 53% of marriage aged males who are only vaguely interested in marriage, but not until at least 32.5, but another 30% (plus another 12% who will not marry American women at all) who are now HARD CORE MARRIAGE AVOIDERS given the raping they get in divorce court. Who can blame them?

    The truth is that more than 67% of marriages will end in divorce. 92% of the time it will be initiated by the woman for no other reason than she is “unfulfilled” – oh, and because she gets the kids, the house, at least ½ the assets and most of his future after tax income for the next 18 years. The man will get raked over in family court. He will lose the house. He will see his kids 2 out of 14 days (if the ex doesn't level unsubstantiated "abuse" claims.) He will be forced to hand over 40-50% of his take-home pay. If he loses his job due to illness or downsizing, the State will toss him in jail. While jailed the arrearage will grow and the state will charge interest. The State will revoke his driver's and professional licenses, make him virtually unemployable.

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    • D: if got married I would (and do now) feel sick to my stomach simply thinking about doing any of that to my future hubby. That's disastrous and I despise those woman. I wish I could get up in there face and make sure they know how much pain they put their past spouse in. God society nowadays is terrible. Absolutely terrible.

    • Monica, it's not about what you or other good women would do, it's about the incentive to do something. Every decision a human being makes in made largely due to incentive. Family courts have given women the incentive to file for divorce, and so the numbers reflect this. They have given men the incentive not to marry and so you are seeing that in the marriage numbers.

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