Do you think it is right for a guy to not want to get married until his girlfriend loses weight?

See when my and my boyfriend first got together I weighed 235, now I weigh more, but have been up and down in it . As of now I hate put back the weight I lost, well 25 lbs of it anyways, and about 4-5 months ago we were talking about me going on a diet (well more less I was telling him I wanted to) ,he slipped up and said well if you lost weight and looked like this girl in the picture we can get married. he doesn't remember it now, but It was very hurtful and I don't even talk about our future such as getting married and having kids and all that. but he has changed so much, but I love him regardless,DO YOU JUST THINK THAT IT IS RIGHT FOR HIM TO SAY THAT? WHEN THERE IS A LEGIT REASON WHY MY WEIGHT FLUCTUATE?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Guys sometimes say things just to joke around if he doesn't remember it wasn't something he meant, or said to offend you, But it offended you because your concern about your weight, If comments like that upset you, just let him know that for you the subject weight, is a little sensitive so that he can prevent himself from hurting your feelings again (It's all about communication)

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What Guys Said 4

  • He's being a douchebag...

    ...

    ...

    ...and you're allowing it because you're still with him.

    A guy that TRULY loves and cares for his girlfriend, would NEVER say something so hurtful.

    Does he says disrespectful things like that to you all the time, QA?

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    • No, we were having an argument when he said that, I said something mean too, but I know guys don't show their feelings.

  • Well as far as I understand your story it sounds like unfortunately he's not satisfied with you, and that he wouldn't make a lifelong commitment to you because you're not attractive enough to him. He's settling for you and if he found something better he'd go for it. That's not the greatest boyfriend to have.

    However you are obese and you'd be fooling yourself to think that you'd be most people's first choice. That's just reality. You say that there is a 'legit reason' why your weight is the way it is, but if you were planning to go on a diet then I assume that would work nonetheless. I also assume that you didn't actually go on a diet, or exercise. Although I don't condone your boyfriend dating you while he's not satisfied and hurting your feelings in the process, if you're not willing to make efforts for yourself then you can't expect anyone to magically like you despite it. Nobody wants to date someone who's given up on themselves.

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    • Ok, my weight goes up and down, and I did go on a diet and lost a good amount of weight but some of it back. And reality is you actually sound like a douchebag yourself, never once did I say I'd be the first choice. I even talked to him about it and I now know what the real problem is, I let myself go and he's not used to a girl doing that. and he does love me, I could tell you several reasons why, but I'm not (and if you're thinking something dirty, get your mind out of the gutter)

  • It really isn't smart on his part because after you get married there's nothing stopping you from putting the weight back on lol

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  • i hate those boyfriends and girlfriends just over eat on junk food to see how fat you can get and then get them superfat as well! it works and they deserve it so much!

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What Girls Said 3

  • If he was joking, it was a poor joke. A poor way for you to have a goal to lose weight.

    If he was serious, dump his ass, run fast, run far.

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  • honestly, no it doesn't sound right unless he wants you to look "perfect" in your dress, which all in all still sounds a little sketchy unless he's trying to hide you from someone that would be coming to the weeding but no doesn't sound right at all and but he may have been saying it jokingly you never know..

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    • He doesn't hide me...we go out a lot actually and yes, I would want to look prefect in my dress, what woman doesn't, but we were fighting and I know guys tend to speak w/o thinking, sh*t I'm a female and do it A LOT!

  • Guys don't really think befor they speak sometimes. My boyfriend said if I gained ten lbs tht I would be too fat. Umm I'm 100lbs right now. also he's made comments suggesting I should get abs or tone my leg. Point is you shouldn't have been offended. He probably wasn't serious and didn't actually mean it. Hence why he doesn't remember.

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