So I have been with this guy for 5 months, almost 6 now, and I know that I'm in love with him. I don't know what I would do without him, I can't even imagine it. Before we started dating he would say things like "that's why I never want kids" or "that's why I would never get married." He also mentioned at one point that he doesn't want to own a home and even said that we could live in separate apartments since I like the heat on and he always runs the ac. Eventually I admitted to him that the idea of living/sleeping alone and without him made me sad. He then said "well I would love to live with you." He says he just doesn't like kids and that he thinks marriage is pointless and that couples shouldn't have to take part in it to prove that they love each other. At the time I honestly felt the same way. I never believed in marriage and I could never see myself as a mother. However, now when the thought of not having kids with him and not having a ring on my finger, I feel very upset. Not saying I want these things anytime soon, but if he were to eventually ask me to marry him, there is not a doubt in my mind that I would say yes. If I found myself carrying his child, I would be overjoyed. I haven't told him that I love him yet, let alone mention these topics. I want him to tell me he loves me first. I know that he has very strong feelings for me, and I know that when he knows that he loves me he will say it. The thing is, I don't know how I should deal with these feelings of wanting to marry him and have kids. Should I take them seriously? Will these feelings get stronger as more time goes by? I really love this man, and if he continues to not want these things I couldn't see myself leaving him because of it. I'm willing to try and move past it, but I just feel very confused and sad about it all.
So what should I do? Should I just keep acting as if nothing is wrong and hope he changes his mind one day? Or should I try to surreptitiously bring it up?
- Go with the flow and wait it outVote A
- Talk to him about itVote B
Most Helpful Guy
As time goes on he may become more open to the idea of those topics the same way you did. You're in love, maybe he's not quite at that point yet. Maybe that's the feeling it'll take for him to say Okay, maybe I could picture us having children together one day and making her my wife. Realistically your relationship is still quite young at 6 months and perhaps if/when he falls deep for you like you have for him, he'll see that kind of future together. I don't think it would hurt to pop the idea of things once in a while to gauge how he's feeling at that moment.1