At what age do you want to get married?

If you lived in a perfect world and things all went according to plan, at what age would you prefer to get married? If you are already married, answer based on either what age you wanted to get married when you were younger, or at what age you wish you and your SO had gotten married.

I apologize if your desired age isn't listed, but with the limited poll choices, I tried to limit it to the most common years and eliminate the outliers.

  • 20-23
    13% (25)6% (6)11% (31)Vote
  • 24-27
    50% (95)35% (33)45% (128)Vote
  • 28-30
    23% (44)29% (27)25% (71)Vote
  • 31+
    7% (14)17% (16)11% (30)Vote
  • I don't want to get married
    7% (11)13% (12)8% (23)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
Updates:
Ok where are all the guys? I need guys to answer this or it defeats the purpose of my experiment. I'm curious to see if there is a difference between the two genders. I can't figure that out if no guys answer lol.
Why is it that all of a sudden (especially you girls) feel that you must have a career or other things like a house, car, money, before you get married? Why can't you pursue your career or accumulate those things while married? I've never understood the correlation, since I believe achieving career goals would actually be easier in a healthy relationship/marriage because you have someone to support and motivate you and all around make you happier. How does marriage stop those things?
I've learned something very interesting here. It seems that women have developed a cynical view of men. Women are basing their views on the assumption that most men will control them, abuse them, leave them, etc. 90% of men will not do that, you just don't hear stories about the good ones. Also, I put half the blame on the girl who marries a guy like that. You should be able to judge a persons character after dating them for some time. Either you rushed into it, or can't judge character.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • In response to your last two updates:

    1. In my view, it's safer for a woman to have a career before getting married. Even if she stops working once she's married, having credentials and experience can help if she has to start working again (e.g. husband loses job/family needs more financial support, or the marriage fails). I live in a town where wives typically don't work, and I can't tell you how many women have struggled when their husbands divorce them in their 50's and they hardly have any experience to get back into the workforce with a salary to support themselves 2+ kids in college. While I'm not saying this is a good plan for everyone, it's definitely something I plan to follow.

    You can work on a career while you're married, but at that point women have a household to take care of. Also, a married woman is less likely to get hired or paid a higher salary because many employers assume she'll start a family and won't work anymore. Again this all depends on many factors, but the stereotype is out there. It's easier to work on these things while you're single.

    2. This relates to #1. I don't think most women assume a man will control them or abuse them, but you have to be prepared in case they leave. I don't have any statistics but it's safe to say your "90%" isn't recorded data either, especially when the divorce rate for first marriages is 40-50% depending on the source. Therefore, more than 10% of men (AND women) can and will "do that."

    Only in specific cases can you blame the woman for not judging a person's character well. After dating for six years and raising four kids during a 20+ year marriage, when the husband has an affair you can't blame the wife for being a poor judge of character. Maybe you can blame her for other things, but you can't blame her for rushing into a marriage or not knowing her husband would be a cheater.

    So, I don't think what you've learned is "very interesting" but is instead unfair. Men also have to be cautious of their wives leaving them, but the financial repercussions are typically less severe.

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    • I understand the point about being less likely to get married or paid more due to being married (assuming its true). Other than that I still think your playing the victim card. You act like men don't make any contribution to running a household, a marriage, or raising kids. We have our own sets of responsibilities which many times are the same as a woman. OK maybe my numbers are inflated, but frankly a lot of that is because of plain stupidity. People getting married at 18 or divorcing for dumb

    • reasons like, we don't talk as much anymore, or I feel like we just take care of the kids and go to work. People aren't as willing to put work into their marriage as they once were because divorce is simply more acceptable. In the past, if things get rocky (which at some point they will), People worked at fixing the problems, now they just rush to their lawyer at the first cry of the wolf.

What Girls Said 41

  • 27+ for sure. Probably in my early 30's though.

    The way I see it, there's no rush. A piece of paper and being legally recognized by the state as a couple has little to nothing to do with real love, and building a life together. Marriage is a huge commitment, one that I truly consider to be for the rest of my life. And given the current divorce rate couple with the fact of how many unhappy married couples there are apart from that, etc. It's just something I'd like to be logical about.

    At the end of the day, it's a hell of a lot more important to me to have found the right guy, rather than have a ring on my finger.

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  • @UPDATE:

    In theory it seems easy to maintain a HEALTHY marriage and relationship with children, but sh*t happens. It is the smartest decision to enter into a marriage and have children when both parties are financially and emotionally secure.

    And again, peoples goals in life can change with their education. The person an 18 year old freshman is will not be the same person they are at their 3rd year or when pursuing a masters degree.

    I see nothing wrong with people wanting to have their sh*t together before marriage. Finances are the #1 cause of divorce

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    • that is so true, you do know that once you graduate and go into a working class role, it takes about 5-10 years before you actually promote in the job you do, generally speaking. Unless you open your own business and become your own boss, but then you have other headaches to think of. So you'll be financially secure around 35-40 years old and then want to raise a family while maintaining a good career hehehe, I'll tell you it isn't easy, speaking from experience.

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    • gotta agree with Ms Texas on this one..(:(:(:

    • I'm not saying there's anything wrong with getting married and pursuing an education and career, but it's best that both partners enter into the marriage financially secure, not dragging a financial burden into the relationship, knowing what they want.

      Money won't make the marriage but it can break it instantly because it seems easy to go through school and keep a marriage, but marriage requires attention and world

  • Not below 30.Its too early for me.I have so many things to accomplish in my life so I don't want to mix it up with my marriage soon.

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    • No.What I mean is once I am married I have so many responsibilities,especially if I have kids.So I guess its not that easy for me to pay attention on my career and also my family.

    • Kids is a separate issue and is one I do agree should be put off until your life and financial goals have been achieved. However, if you feel that your relationship is so taxing that you don't have time or energy for a career, then I go news for you, that is not a healthy relationship and you should find someone else.

  • I don't think I would want to get married until I'm 30, or late 28/29 at the earliest, because you change so much in your 20's. With that said, I'd be happy to have a long engagement through my twenties so I can enjoy being with that other person while we're young, without rushing into marriage too quickly.

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  • "Why can't you pursue your career or accumulate those things while married?"

    Because most of us see how little men support their wives to pursue their careers. Once you have kids, kiss going up in your career goodbye because if you have kids the men are typically not the ones who take two to three years off of work, or leave early to pick up the kids, or miss work to stay with the kids.

    Why do you think women with children are paid so much less than men for equal work? lol really how do you not see the correlation?

    This has nothing to do with women being cynical it has every thing to do with women being realistic. Most men will not leave work to care for children. This has nothing to do with abuse.

    And why aren't you picking at men for being even more cynical about women? why aren't you questioning their decisions?

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  • Wow the results show that a lot of people want to get married young, I know a lot of young people who got married who are poor or getting divorced. Ide tell these people to finish college before they got married. Ide like to get married around 27 no sooner and no later. If I ever get married that is.

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    • I'm surprised myself, however, one thing that you have to realize that I knew when asking this is that, most of the people on GaG, are lonely. They are people who haven't exactly been successful in the dating game hence the reason they are here for advice or to learn. Typically people with active dating and sex lives push marriage off as to not ruin the good time they are having. Lonely people on the other hand are in a hurry to run to the alter so that they can no longer be lonely.

    • Ya ide have to agree with you on that.

  • I want to get married early.. Just to say I did it, and to have my beautiful wedding soon and while I'm young, but I know the smart thing to do is marry when I'm well and ready, and I've settled some. Plus, the later I get married, the higher chance I have of it lasting.

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  • I want to get married when am above 30. By then, I would have already established a stable career and businesses , a nice house and car. And if I were to get pregnant at that age , I would be able to take care of the child with or without a guy's help. I will have traveled to the different countries I want and definitely saved a reasonable amount of money.

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    • Why do all of those things need to be in place in order to be married? What is the correlation? How come you can't accumulate them whilst being married?

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    • Continued...And in case a divorce is to take place when one has kids, it will be easy to take care of them even without the husband's help if the wife has a good career. It's also less stressful for the couple if they are both financially secure and already have a foundation for the future.

    • The only part I agree with is about putting less stress on the relationships when both partners have stable careers and money. The rest I don't. Becoming dependent on the guy is your own problem, not his or the institution of marriage. Nobody is asking you to give up your life of independence. If a guy attempts to control you in such a way or influence what you do or buy, at least past a reasonable sense, they you shouldn't have married him in the first place. Again, a personal problem.

  • i vote A... I've always wanted to marry young, like my dream was to be married by 21... I'm 20 and have about 6 months till I turn 21, so unless I meet a guy and things move quickly and we get married before my 21st birthday, its not gonna happen... so now I say by my 25th, id like to be married with at least one kid (cuz I love kids) :-)

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  • I'd get married right now if I could. The best time for me is once finding the right guy, which I did. Everything else can just become team effort, I don't need to have a career before I get married. The ring on my finger isn't going to stop anything.

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    • I wish more people would realize that fact in general. For some reason, many people now a days, especially women in my experience, are avoiding relationships or marriage because they act like it stops them from achieving their goals or pursuing their career. I mean how having a Boyfriend or a ring on your finger have anything to do with your career.

    • They probably equate marrying to focusing on family more and themselves less. My boyfriend and I have always been supportive of each other, and getting married/sharing income and bills will only do us good. It's easier when you've got help. Then again, if you go with the "once you get married, your life is over" mindset, I can see how making it big can only precede marriage.

    • Which in my opinion is a problem with our society. People view marriage and relationships as a "my life is over" event when in actuality its quite the opposite (psychological studies have proven this).

  • I would want to settle down ideally between 25-30, no earlier than 25.

    Both people need to know themselves as teenagers, young adults and adults before making such a huge decision

    I don't want to get married though simply because marriage has turned into a joke and seems to mean nothing among my generation.

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  • I want to get married and have kids before I'm 30, but I still want to have some time to myself to do what I want and have fun. Around my mid 20's, anywhere from 23-27.

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  • 25

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  • Hmmm around 25 (which gives me 6 years :P

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    • Uhhh, I don't necessarily have to be finished, but I really want to travel so I would like the guy I marry to want to explore too. If anything it's having achild that would have to be totally after I've finished.

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    • HAHAHA..ok..u b kool...<3<3<3=D

    • Will do...but who knows what the future holds for me, could end up getting married sooner (daunting prospect though).

  • maybe when I'm like 90. Old people weddings are cute.

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  • 75, vegas drive through, I put a lot of thought into this, it's guna be PERFECTTT!

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    • Why is it that all of a sudden (especially you girls) feel that you must have a career or other things like a house, car, money, before you get married?

      Look I am all for women staying at home taking care of their own kids(rather than nannies, day care, etc.) but in this day, women need to work, what if the husband turns on her and become abusive? HAPPENS A LOT. I live in an upscale neighborhood, these marriages are so corrupt, my neighbor was a stay at home mom and had to get a divorce she is

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    • Your entire argument is based on kids. Marriage and kids are not synonymous unless you make them. You can be married but not have kids right away until you are financially ready. That I do agree with. But simply being married or in a relationship shouldn't really be a financial or time burden. Shit, what's stopping you form getting married and going back to work the next morning? Point being, nothing about marriage inherently stops a women from working or attaining a career.

    • yea some people do that, but if that's the plan why rush into marriage, just keep dating...people change constantly, it's not until they are set in their career and ready for a family, til they settle down, this is in general, getting married young works for some... but in the end, people change... it's best not to rush into these things, until you know 100% he is the one, this is hard to tell in the college years/early 20's.

  • I'm almost 18 but, I would like to be married at 30 because I feel that I will have my career straight and I will have my own place by then.

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    • I'd also like to add that I have just graduated high school and I haven't even had my first boyfriend yet alone started dating.

  • Ok, how old am I today? lol When I was 18, I didn't think I'd ever want to get married. And yet I did at 19. lol That worked out well for most of my life. Now, I'd like to do it again soon. It's a pretty cool thing, actually.

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    • I did pursue my education & my career during my marriage. And we aquired our house(s), cars, "stuff" and family all during our marriage. My older brother had told me that if you wait until you are well off enough to have______(fill in the blank with children, marriage, etc.) you will never get around to having anything.

    • Should we elope?

    • Well, I've got nothing going on, but, uh...you like jail time? lol

  • I'll get married once I have a career. Voting C.

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    • Getting married right now will make me feel tied down/restricted. I never thought it would be a good idea before to get married without having a stable career. I barely get paid above minimum wage at the moment and I'm a struggling college student, therefore I'm not ready.

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    • Not asking you to get married at 19. I would also advise against that for other reasons. I just don't see how you can't accomplish your goals and be in a relationships at the same time. Are you assuming that any guy you would be with would outright prevent you from doing those things? Having a ring on your finger doesn't disqualify you from getting a job.

    • Lol still not assuming anything it's just not something I want for myself.

  • Somewhere between 26-28 sounds good to me.

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  • late 28-31 ish for me. I have too much to get done lol. I have med school and residency. I will probably be around 28 to 29 when I'm done with that...

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  • Never, it's pointless

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  • I want to get married after I finish school. That's why I picked 28-30 since I'm going for my masters.

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    • To your reply it's because I need to work on myself before I spend my life with somebody else. If I don't have my life together & I'm married then, we are going to be struggling financially in the marriage & I don't want that. I want to accomplish all of my goals that I set when I graduated out of high school first before I add someone into my life.

  • Never

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  • 25

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  • I will get married when I feel me and the guy are ready to get married.

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  • probably never

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  • I voted B. I'd like to get married at like 25, but if I fall in love with a guy before that and we decide to get married the youngest I'd get married is 18.

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  • 20-23

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  • i never want to

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  • More from Girls
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What Guys Said 27

  • I'm 19 and I think I am ready to get married right now, it is just a matter of finding that one special girl :) However it would be a marriage without kids at least until the age of 25 when I'm done with college. Actually I lose interest very easily on my crushes if I start seeing that they are not the type of girl that would be ready for a big commitment such as marriage.

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  • I plan on proposing at the end of this year and hope to get married at that same time next year which would make the day I meet the woman of my dreams the same day I will be proposing and then the same day I would be getting married. This is my hope at least.

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  • I want to get married and settle down before I am 30. My biggest goal in life is to be a father. But I am almost 25, still single, and have no girls interested me in the slightest. I am truly worried if I ever will get married, and that is a scary thought for me :(

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  • i got married when I was 30 and asked her because I felt that I was ready for it and start a family of our own. It worked out for me like that, but that's not always the case for everyone.

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  • 27-28ish would be perfect!

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  • I'm already 31 and have never been married and never had kids. Therefore, I have to wait until 31+ =)))))))

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  • When I'm ready to support a family, both financially and mentally, but love never goes accord to plan, so who knows :)

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  • 30s

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  • I think I want to her married between the age of 27 and 32 . But That might change , specially with career paths and other obstacles I might get into.

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  • I'd like to be married by 27. Gives me a little over 2 years.

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  • 26.

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  • since I'm going to be 29. I figured I want to get married in my 30's

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  • I picked 28-30 but I'm already 28 now so...

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  • 27-28 seems good to me

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  • mid or late 20s to early 30s

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  • 42

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  • Never.

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  • i'd say perfect age for me would be around 25.

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  • I voted "C"..but I didn't get the job done until I was 38...o.O

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  • Kind of hard to get married, when you never had a Girlfriend because your too fat and ugly. Like me.

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    • Just in a helpful, friendly sort of way...this answer right here and your screen name reveal a lot about why you likely don't have a girlfriend. Even if you were the ugliest guy in the world...acting and believing that you're pathetic wouldn't do you any good. I'm sure you have lots of great qualities and you need to embrace those aspects. Try to be confident.

    • Thank you human fortune cookie.

  • about 25

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  • well here is my experience. at age 19 I got married and really rushed into it. I think getting married too young really has a negative affect on the overall marriage and longevity of a marriage. you will change a lot as you get older and experience life. life really hasn't begin in your teens and early twenties. I had a same vision of some people on here at getting married early. for me all rainbows and butterflys of marriage with the magical weddings is pretty far from how things go if you marry young. what money do you have to fund a huge wedding? I know we didn't. we are really too young and in my case I rushed into it too quickly. we have grown a lot and me being military and getting sent places around the world it has really destroyed us. trust is a huge thing in a marriage and so is respect if neither or one is not present then you can kiss it good bye. At that time major counseling and guidance from an outside source is needed but isn't always going to save you.

    when divorce enters a marriage(through word, or thoughts) it is very hard to get rid of it. It often time doesn't go away but it simply lingers in the back of your mind. Its almost inevitable at that point.

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    • Since you are military I have a question for you. What is with soldiers all getting married super early. Literally almost every person I've ever met who served in the military has gotten married before age 22. What is it about the military that makes these guys all of a sudden want to get married immediately.

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    • So you are saying that constant moving is both the reason for rushing into marriage as well as its failure?

    • yes when you move too quickly you miss things, like red flags you have for certain things people do. when you are forced to make a decision you do it pretty quickly in favor of having someone instead of empty handed

  • To go along with your newest update, rushing into it, or inability to judge character both occur, however there are many cases where people put on an act until they are married, or they "change" in those cases I do feel more bad for the individual than someone that just rushed into something, which is not to say I don't feel sympathy for them. Also some women grow/grew up in hostile/abusive environments which lead them to believing abuse/control/etc. are normal and acceptable and because it is all they have known they are far more willing to not only accept an unhealthy relationship, they are more likely to actually seek them.

    I have known more than one individual with this proclivity toward unhealthy relationships. And to help answer your question of why people feel obligated to prologue or forgo marriage all together is, because our society and many others teach individuals, especially women that they should go counter to what has been considered normal for centuries so that they may be "free" when in all actuality by most measures they are taking on more work, more responsibilities and in general pursuing things that make them less satisfied and more career/education etc. oriented and "independent" meaning they want to "do it on their own" before pursing marriage or a serious relationship. If someone grows up being taught that being sexually loose, uninhibited by social norms and societal-expectations; and to be "free/happy regardless of what that means/who it hurts"; then we come to a point and time where selfish apathy in a pursuit of what individuals are taught and raised to be happy is takes precedent over the tried and proven methods of joy and happiness. To me it's a little bit frightening how far people are willing to stray from the rest of society and tradition, because it is commonality and shared meaning systems that holds societies together, the more deviation there is the more likely a society is to commit societal-suicide.

    But far be it for me to say what makes someone else happy, I just think the primary reason individuals, men as well as women, are avoiding more traditional roles and goals for happiness and achievement are either they want to "be unique" which doesn't exist in the measure that many seem to believe it does, or they are so caught up in the moments where they feel alive that they are overly willing to stray from what unites us as a society in order to pursue something else even at the cost of the happiness of others or the long term happiness of themselves.

    Personally I may not have as much time as I want to spend with my significant other, or as much leisure time as some others have; but I am entirely happy and joyful for the love I have and share with my girlfriend we help each other, we build each other up, and our life paths are so close together that we make our paths ahead easier by being there for one-another as we pursue masters degrees and beyond

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  • Take it easy Bro you can't be so quick to judge

    I'm sure these girls have a valid reason

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    • I'm not judging, I'm going by the 10's of comments/conversations that I'm having with these girls here on this thread. Read them, you will likely draw the same conclusion as me. I could care less about someone's marriage preference but it makes me a bit frustrated when I feel like all of us get generalized as wife beaters, cheaters, abusers, people who leave their wives, etc. I'm kinda just getting sick of the same old female story, acting like all men are abusive criminals.

    • If a girl thinks that way, would you really wanna be with her?

      I know I wouldn't.

      If anything I'm going to change her opinion on guys.

  • I'm not even sure.

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  • 25 seems good

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  • Never. I haven't met or know about a single girl that was worth marrying.

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