How can I stop myself from marrying this girl?

I am a 24 year old guy with a 29 year old girlfriend; She is my first girlfriend. I just got offered a job at another state and I have decided to take the job. I have also been thinking of proposing to this girl and taking her with me. I know I shouldn't though, but since she is my first girlfriend I feel so attach to her. I even think I love her, even though I could be having these feelings simply because she is my first girlfriend. Originally, I wanted to get a job in my trade, start my own business eventually, and marry at 35 with a 24 year old woman. What do I do to stop myself?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I answered a similar question like this:

    Marriage is not to be taken lightly because if you're not ready, it can wreak havoc in your life in more ways than you'd think. Whether this is your first or 15th relationship is not what matters here. Want to know if you're ready for that big step...Give your relationship this 12 point inspection. It will give you an indication on whether 'you' feel ready to take the plunge or not.

    1. You have very few arguments and when you do, you resolve them easily and without drama

    2. She makes you feel secure about where you stand in her life and you in hers

    3. She gets along with the people you love and you get along with the people she loves

    4. You're financially stable enough to take care of yourself, your girl and if a child were to enter the picture

    5. You're clear on what she expects of you and you try to meet those standards and visa versa

    6. There are no episodes of betrayal, either through cheating or lying.

    7. You feel comfortable telling her the most embarrassing things and feel you can talk to each other about almost everything

    8. You support each others goal, dreams and aspirations

    9. You share several goals and ideas about the future.

    10. You have a firm understand that relationships have their ups and downs and that there will be lulls. You will constantly have to find ways to keep things fresh.

    11. You are each others' best friends...or at least really close.

    12. You have a firm understanding that love is a breathing living thing that needs to be watered, given sunlight and worked on so it doesn't die

    Of course, none of this matters, if you're just 'not' comfortable with the idea of marrying her at this time. She is older and I don't know the dynamics of your relationship. I say, when you've found the one, there's no need to keep searching. Only fools do.

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What Girls Said 4

  • I am a little bit confused by "marry at 35 with a 24 year old woman." Are you saying you like younger women? Instead of those that are a littlebit older than you?

    If you aren't sure of yourself in this relationship then I suggest you take a break from her.

    Either to

    A) Date others (this will tell you if she is the one for you) - If you constantly miss her, and find yourself unhappy with other people then she is the one for you.

    B) Take time away from her and do not date any one else. (Try to get your head straight and your mind clear on to what you really want out of your relationship with her).

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  • I think marriage is a Big decision to make specially if she is your first girlfriend, I think that if your thinking on taking her you should ask her to move in with you first and depending on how the relationships develops you decide weather to get married or no

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  • Just say "NO" and have a little restraint. For goodness sakes, you are a grown up, and if you can't not stop yourself from proposing to someone, you are in for some pretty bad years ahead of you.

    You need to sit yourself down & make a pros & cons list right now. Look at it, see the reasons why you should & shouldn't get married? There's only one reason to do it...b/c you want to, and you do not.

    Talk to your mom & dad, your pastor, your brother(s). Tell them what's on your mind. Let them help you through this. You need support right now before you do something dumb that you will regret.

    Have you thought about her? You say you love her, right? Well, if you do, then you want what is best for her, and that is for her to marry a man who truly wants to marry her, not a man who can't stop himself because it's comfy & she's his first. No, you know she deserves better. Let her go, who knows, maybe you 2 will get together later in life.

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  • You remind yourself that if you can only say you THINK YOU LOVE HER, then you do not jump the gun. Is that what you mean by propose? Or just to take her with you?

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What Guys Said 3

  • Meh marriage is the new dating, just sign a prenup and go for it. If it doesn't work out, just sign the papers and move on.

    Personally I'd never recommend marriage though, even if you feel like a girl's "the one" or whatever. Seems like unnecessary stress. Sounds hypocritical I know.

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  • I'm a little confused on the "marry at 35 with a 24 year old woman". Not sure you can predict what will happen or how you will feel in the future.

    At any rate, you've pretty much made up your mind that your first girlfriend is not who you think you should marry so don't. Divorce is a bitch.

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  • Don't be so eager to throw yourself into the meat grinder, champ.

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