Whats the big deal? Why is this a deal breaker?

I just have a question, just curious is all.

Whats the big deal about marriage? Why does it have to be a deal breaker in a relationship? Can't you have the person for the rest of your life, if the two so choose, and not be married? I'm just curious..


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Most Helpful Girl

  • not a deal breaker, for me. I see no point. you want to be together, you can be together. no point in ownig someone, like property. if you need a paper to give you incentive to stay, I don't want to be with u.

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    • I completely agree. I don't want to be owned, and I don't want that piece of paper be the reason someone stays with me, and I also don't want that to be the reason I stay with said person..

    • I totally agree with you too ;)

What Guys Said 4

  • It has to do with the sentiment behind it. The idea is that you are making a vow to be committed and to grow old together. If you don't want to selflessly give yourself to another person, to really appreciate them an love them, to devote your life to getting to know them and experiencing the years of your life with them by your side, that's your choice. Marriage alone will not do that for you, but that is what it symbolizes... Taking that leap together and actually wanting to do that, not because it is the thing to do, not because we have been together for several years and it is the next step, not because they will leave you if you don't, but because you really do love the person and want to devote your life to them... Knowing someone really loves you like that is a huge reassurance. If your heart is completely in it, and theirs is as well it's a good feeling... If they say they never want to get married, it seems like they never want to get to close to a person, they'll just take it as it goes and we'll see.

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  • You will eventually be considered "common-law" married and the same negative consequences as divorce become possible and probable.

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    • True, so I don't see why people make a big deal about having to get legally married with a huge ordeal over it.

  • Who said it's a deal breaker?

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    • So many people ask about it, or after you been with them for a while they bring it up. Even when you first meet someone, and you say I never want to get married, there like..gone! So I'm just confused, it didn't happen to me personally, but I have had people say it to me before, that marriage is the key thing.

    • I think if someone says they don't want to get married, and they can't articulate their reasoning, it's a red flag. If they are anti-state or think a ceremony is pretentious, I could deal with that. If they just say that they don't want to get married, and especially if they mention divorce rates, I would be wary of them.

  • The desire for something more stable. Someone's less likely to up and leave if they're married. There's more investment in making things work. May not seem to matter at your age but when you get into your 30s you might want something else.

    I'm very negative about marriage. But I do think it's something I want.

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    • Im 23, about to be 24 so I guess I am in the "young" mindset when it comes to it, but that's why I asked, I was just curious. Thanks!

    • Pretty much supply and demand. Supply of quality mates will fall, and their demand for you will also fall. So you wanna lock in and get something decent so you don't become a cat lady, etc.

    • I'm sorry, but the cat lady part made me laugh a little. I don't think being unmarried would make anyone, or girl rather a cat lady.

What Girls Said 3

  • It's commitment to each other unlike any other. It is more than just living together or being together for the rest of your life. Marriage is a vow to each other that you will be there for each other forever. It is easy to just walk out on someone when you are not married and you are having troubles. When you are married, you work much harder to keep things together and make things work out. There's more to it, but that's the gist of it. It certainly doesn't mean that things will always work out, it just helps.

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  • Stability and level of commitment that just is above and beyond.

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  • Because its an actual commitment and without that even tho you feel like your already committed there's always an easy way out.

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    • Yes, but an out is an out.. Divorces happen, and can happen just as much as the possibility of a breakup.

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    • 'meant to be'?

      before single pair, marriage, was group marriage. many women, many men. before that community endorced free sex. to keep the peace.

      single pair, marriage is fairly recently. & there's nothing sentimental about it, except money., if that's where your sentriments lie.

      symbolizing you love someone, comes from your heart & your convictions. not a culturally acceptable form.

      two people in love, are perfectly capable of committing BECAUSE they love. not because they agreed to.

    • Its making a VERBAL commitment.. VOW .. PROMISE if you will, that you will love this person til the day you die. & that is why I said its not meant to be this way where people are divorcing left and right. If people would stick to there WORD than it wouldn't be how it is now. If you don't want to get married, that's on you but there's still and underlying issue whether you want to admit it or not.

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