19 and not engaged...is this normal?

I see so many kids on this website engaged at 17, 16 whatever. I'm 19 and have been in 2 serious relationships and several less serious relationships, but I've never been engaged. In both my serious relationships we talked about marriage as a future option but we never set a date or really planned on it. My longest relationship has only been 8 months! I feel like I really need to get serious about this but I'm in college and although a lot of guys will commit to having a girlfriend, they're not looking for marriage until they're 30! Both my sisters are around my age and they are in year long relationships. Is this normal that I'm not engaged yet, or on the way to being engaged? I feel like I've only got 10 years left and then nobody will want me.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • You're only 19! There's no need to rush into something that's a life long commitment, at 19 I thought that I knew who I was and what I wanted in life and what I wanted from a relationship but as I got older I realized that that was not exactly what I was looking for. I've had a chance to really get to know who I am and I what I enjoy and what important to me and what I need to have in a relationship and what I can bend on a little. Relationships aren't easy so it's important to really know what you're looking for so that you don't get caught in the moments of puppy love (that's regardless of age) and when honeymoon period ends you realize that you really don't have anything in common and that you've made a big mistake. As far as those guys at college with you saying that they'll get married at 30 well that's all talk. They haven't found that person for them so they don't know what a real relationship is like.

    Just give yourself time, live and enjoy life, really think about what important to you and what you're looking for in a relationship and a guy. That way when someone comes along you'll know if it worth a try or to keep it moving. Also I have a friend who didn't get married until she was in her 30's and she has one the BEST marriage I've ever seen, her husband absolutely loves her to death and would do ANYTHING for her. So it just goes to show that you never know when you'll meet that person and you're never too old to be wanted.

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What Guys Said 4

  • In very rare cases do you hear about people getting married at your age and being married 50,60 or 70 years later. Some people are lucky and the person they are meant to be with is there. Others it takes a while. You maybe 16 and in love but who is to say at 17 you hate the person you are with? If you want one of those stories I understand. If not then let go and understand it's not your time. Live your life why worry about what your sisters are doing or if they are in long term relationships? You always make mistakes when rushing. When it's meant to happen you will be enagaged. You are 19 and don't need to worry about having your own house, kids, a car, money for bills, and of course loads of money for the wedding, after party, ETC

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  • Your being paranoid, and yes it's normal.

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  • I don't think that there is an age limit for marriage. People can get married at any age. Since you're 19 and have never been engaged, don't worry about it. Sooner or later it'll happen. And when you're 29 and possibly still not engaged, somebody will want you. Age isn't everything. I'm nearly 28 and have never had a girlfriend. I've asked, but have never been in a relationship other than a 'fling'. Be positive about the whole thing. I've got to work on the same thing. Keep the faith.

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  • I am married for the third time. I realized way too late that the first two marriages were mistakes. There is no need to be in a rush to get engaged or married.

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What Girls Said 6

  • I'm 21 and I'm not engaged.

    lol.

    I wish I was.

    I really wouldn't mind being married with my 'knight in shining armor' and be in his arms knowing he'll always love me, look over me ...

    yeah, don't worry about it. you have plenty of time. If I stress about it, it doesn't change anything.

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    • Good point! I'm just trying to figure out if I should date this guy who's 24 and isn't looking for marriage YET. I want to be married around 25 and he wants to be married at 30 so I guess that works out fine, but I don't like the idea of giving up six years and then not being married.

  • I'm 19 too, and I don't even think about marriage--I'm too young! There are a lot of things I want to do with my life before I get married, so I'm not even worried about it.

    And I haven't been in any serious relationships because I have a tendency to push guys away before it gets to that point, so I guess I feel your pain there.

    By the way, I think a lot of the under 18 crowd who put that they're engaged are just saying that. It's like on myspace or facebook--everyone says they're engaged when they love their boyfriend/girlfriend, it doesn't mean they're actually engaged.

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  • I'm almost 19 and have never even had a boyfriend. It's not strange at all not to be engaged. You just haven't found the right guy yet. Marriage is something you never want to rush. You're still very young and will have your chance, just don't worry.

    Many young marriages don't work out. 16 really is very young to get married these days. And you're never too old to marry. =]

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  • lol is this serious? most people are not engaged at 19... or even years after this... so no ur not weird and it's normal...

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    • Not necessarily engaged, I just feel weird that I haven't had a year-long relationship yet. but thanks, I appreciate it!

    • Oh haha ok... no I don't think it's weird... ur still young :)

  • Stop rushing it you have your whole life ahead of you. Your way to young to be stressed about getting married. Go see the world, do good in school and get a great job. Go out with friends. It will happen when its meant don't rush it...

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  • You are two young to be worrying about getting engaged. 19 is still very young and you have plenty of time to worry about getting in to proper serious relationships.

    Just go out and enjoy your life. Have fun with your friends and it will happen when the time is right.

    Im 25 and still not engaged and I have loads of friends that are still not engaged. It is something that you can not push for it to happen other wise it will not work.

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