Does he not want to get married?

My boyfriend (now fiance) owns his own business. It does okay, but not great. He does not go out and seek business wanting to work more with referrals, so he has times of business and times of less. Right before he proposed, he did some things to get his business out there. He got some work, and now, he is not working much ... not much at all. I understand the idea that business will fluctuate, but he doesn't do much to SEEK new business as much as he sits around waiting for it to come to him. And he doesn't seem to do anything productive during his off time, he sits at home (he works from there) and surfs/plays games on the Internet. Is this low motivation a sign he doesn't want to marry me, or what? I had hoped he would get more motivated once we got engaged, but that has quickly gone away.


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What Guys Said 2

  • listen to me very carefully.

    (in general) we, men, CARE about success. we WANT success. we NEED success. and if things don't go well we get depressed. it hurts us. our ego is just in biggest pain imaginable.

    at this moment he's depressed. he needs time to chill out, relax, think, plan, etc. and yes that mean playing games, smoking pot, being in sh*tty mood.

    right know he doesn't GIVE F*** about marrying you. not even the slightest. that doesn't mean that he doesn't love you or that he changed his mind about marriage but he definitely put it on hold. and you NEED to understand that. when things will get better THEN he will be interested again in marriage.

    it's simple when it comes to a man: #1 his career, #2 his friends, #3 his woman. in this order. period.

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  • This question might be why he doesn't want to marry you. The man owns his own business and does "just okay" and not "great". I am sure he works hard at what he does and it might be a hit to his ego that he isn't doing as well as he wants to. The economy is bad and many businesses aren't doing well, especially small independently owned ones. Maybe he is frustrated with all this and you mentioning that he is unmotivated and sits around is only making it worse. Try supporting him.

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