We have known each other for over 4 yrs
We live with each other
No big fight (well maybe except for him not talking about the future)
I told him 3 months in, "I don't want to scare you or anything but I want to be honest up front. I do want to get married after dating for 2 years or more & I might want kids in like 4 or more yrs. I just want to be straight with you , so we both can decide if we might want the same thing." To which he responded "Well , I'm still sitting here .. so I guess we are good!" With a smile.
Now skip to today ... We saw something about our friends got engaged. I said "Awww I'm so happy for them. They look so happy, hope we look that happy in our engagement photo!" And he responded with "Well when we get there someday, I hope so!" Then changed the subject quickly. Not to mention he doesn't seem to have a romantic thought very often .. almost never!
SO ... Should I move on? I don't want to ever be that pushy bitch that gives him an ultimatum. He is such a great guy & my best friend. But I also want to be a wife to a man that WANTS to be a husband! Not had to be one
Most Helpful Guy
I think you'll find it hard to find a man who *wants* to be a husband. Men don't like the idea of being tied down.
I think one of the reasons so many relationships fail is because the man felt trapped or coerced into something, and he has to back out of it, either by dumping, cheating or divorcing.
The pressure you feel to get married, is no less important than the pressures he feels to stay single. But right now, for you, you're the only one compromising - you're the only one putting your desires on hold, you're the only one waiting. And that's one sided and not fair.
I think it's time you forced him to have another talk - explain how you feel. But in the interests of trying to keep things alive and moving in the right direction, explain to him that you seriously thought you'd be at least *engaged* by now, even if he felt like he needed a long-ish engagement. (Keep that time period vague for now.)
If he's not even ready to make a commitment to marry you, by proposing and getting engaged, then I think he's not going to be any time soon. And it's at that point, you need to think about whether this is the guy you want to wait around on, or leave and try to find someone else and start over.2