Marriage or Cohabitation and Why?

So if you found someone you thought you wanted to spend forever with. Would you prefer to Marry of Shack up? and Whhhhhyyy?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Marriage, hands down. I wish I can pull up my Sociology notes because we covered which would be better. I picked marriage. Why? Because cohabitation can be acceptable, but marriage is a promised commitment, especially when there's kids involved. I can do better explaining, but I can't seem to get it out of me.

    For cohabitation, there's more cheating, more violence, less commitment, less promises, more arguments.

    These are facts, according to my Sociology class. I'm not pulling them up out of no where. I am also using common sense and knowledge.

    Marriage, on the other hand, means you've tied the knot. You know you can each other. You know he/she will be there waiting for you. There's more of everything, and less of nothing.

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    • Well said

    • Thank you. And thank you for BA! :)

What Guys Said 4

  • My last relationship was much better until we got married. I guess she thought she had me trapped, and didn't have to put anymore work into the relationship. I think a lot of people see marriage as a finish line. Once they get there they just stop trying to meet the needs of their partner. At this point I would prefer cohabitation. That way they know I can leave if they take me for granted.

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    • Sometimes I think women change after they get married because there is this persona they think they should embody to be deemed as a "wife". Did you find that she change in a more demanding way as well?

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    • No its not genetics but it may be social pressures that women face. Women are always thought how it should be when they get married in order for them to be a good wife and they try to live up to that. I realize the same things with my married girl friends. I wouldn't want to be like that when I get married but I would probably be looked down upon by my female comrades. To me, I think who gives a crap how someone does something just that it gets done right? some people are just set in their ways

    • I thought it might be genetic, since the lifespan of a prehistoric man was so short, a woman would have to control everything by herself and raise her children alone, if her mate died. The lifespan of a man was so short, that I think women use to live about twice as long as men at one point. Maybe I just need to move out of Oklahoma to find women with a different mindset.

  • mary or shack up?

    you mean f*** them once or mary them and never f*** them again?

    i don't get what you mean.

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    • Shack up just means living together that's it. I think you know what marry means. I am wondering which would you choose to marry someone or just to live with them.

    • O, marry

  • I choose neither. Both are too dangerous.

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    • hmmm its not for me but do what makes you happy :)

    • Shall do! You, too.

  • Cohabitation doesn't tend to last. Cohabitation before marriage ends up in higher divorce rates. I'd rather just marry and keep it real.

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    • Statistically that's not true and I am talking about proven research here. They have approximately the same amount of divorce rate as when someone doesn't live together and get married. However, I wasn't talking about Cohabitation before marriage but Cohabitation without marriage

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    • As I said before I wasn't talking about Cohabitation before marriage but cohabitation instead of marriage. I do agree with you when it comes to commitment and marriage being that commitment to work things out, in fact I would probably bring shame on my family if I just shacked up (which is another story by itself). But I think marriage is sacred for those who value God and his laws. But the stats I quoted before is not false.

    • It works in neither occasions (even less so without the marriage), I was referring to both. Let me see your sources.

What Girls Said 3

  • I took a psychology class on relationships and the rates of divorce are much high for cohabitating people. Plus, marriage keeps people working at it when the times get tough. It's too easy to walk away without having made those vows to each other. That would always keep me on edge and feel like if any really bad thing came along, there goes my partner. I like the safety of knowing we've both agreed to make this work forever. I know divorce is at an all-time high, but I still believe married people are less likely to walk away than people who are simply dating.

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    • how do you divorce if you are not married.

    • The point was cohabitating people break up more often. Which was found to be true among those that didn't marry either.

    • Yes it is. I majored in Psych. so I know you are right

  • if you love each other & really want to be together, not just really want to pretend to want to be together, I don't see why you need to marry. if you want each other, ull stay together. if you need paper to make it more difficult to split, then you don't really want to be together, & I don't really want to be with a guy, who doesn't really want to be with me. so no marriage. were together of or own free will, not by force.

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  • I believe in "shakn up" in a world of credit card debt why would you want to make someone else responcible.. (never owned a credit card before) but I know that the last thing I want isto take on any debt I did not rack up.. I see nothing that says marriage is any better than two people who devote their time and lives to each other without an expensuve wedding and possibly later down the road an expensive divorce

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    • In marriage any money or debt you have before the wedding is your own

    • Well that's funny considering my father had great credit until he got married.. Her debt became his debt.. I don't know if it differs from state to state but where I come from you take on all debts owed by both parties after marriage

    • Its after marriage not before marriage. Your dad might have gotten bad credit after the marriage because of things he and his wife did. Could be because they opened joint accounts or better yet joint credit cards (which I seriously am against) but his actions inside the marriage has to come into account. I don't know of any state that makes your dad liable for debt incurred before he got married to this lady. But if so I would love to know about it because the more you know the more you grow.

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