Why would anyone want to get married?

Apparently a guy's testosterone goes down more than half once getting married. Also I feel I am not insecure where I need to elope with a guy to feel secure in a relationship. It's all over rated. I like knowing you can leave the relationship whenever I want. No messy divorce. I will shack up with a guy AND be with him for the rest of my life if he is the one but I'm not about to commit my entire rest of life to a guy. I don't know why girls want marriage and a baby and the white picket fence after like a year of dating. That's crazy. Thoughts.?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Do guys want marriage and a baby and a picket fence? I sure don't. And a kid? Good God, I'd pity the poor soul that would be born with me as a father. I don't want a *life* 100% dependent on me. And I don't want to become the typical overweight fat husband with the chubby wife raising the little kids, my life reduced to a job and mowing a lawn, all that. I want my life to have *excitement* as well as love.

    And to answer your question, a lot of people want marriage because it's commitment, it's a (often hollow as often as it's solid) promise that "Even if we fight, even if I stop finding you so magical after a while, we'll work it out and stick together." Long term relationships lack a real commitment.

    Which is part of why girls and guys who just move in together don't seem to get fat like married people, I think, as they know that if one of them gets fat and the other doesn't... well, they can be replaced, haha. They also know that if they become horrid people to live with, the other person can and likely will leave. Benefits, I think, to balance the lack of complete commitment.

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What Guys Said 5

  • foxnews.com/health/2012/06/25/dr-manny-want-to-boost-your-testosterone-try-getting-married/

    your first statement I think got mixed up, after 10 seconds of searching I found an article that says the exact opposite, it is the unmarried men that have significant drops in their testosterone, married men have higher testosterone levels, due to research that married men are happier and in better health,

    I want to get married someday, when I find the right person I want to spend the rest of my life with, and settle down and start a family, not after a year of dating though, I would want to know the person for at least 2 or 3 years, and be in a committed relationship,(maybe more) before considering marriage

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  • Actually if you live together for a certain period of time they will consider you married, and you'd still have to get a divorce. Either way, if you don't plan on being constant in a relationship just remain like a penny. 2 faced, and in everyones' pants.

    After a year? That is immaturity. People are so f'n unreasonable. Either they're on one side of the spectrum and trying to rush sh*t..or they're saying 'forget it'. which in either case, no one is really going to get anything out of it.

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  • Tax breaks... and that's about it ;)

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  • It's about the commitment, the thing is though that today people get married too soon or for all the wrong reasons so it's become such a rotten thing.

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  • Okay first of all, testosterone goes down from fatherhood, not from marriage. This is a good thing because it better ensures that the guy doesn't go chasing other women and remains faithful.

    Second of all, you should be financially, emotionally, etc secure before you are married, otherwise it could be for the wrong reasons. You shouldn't need to have a husband to be rid of all your insecurities.

    After a year of dating or so, many people are sure they have found the one they want to be with the rest of their lives, it's not abnormal to fantasize of the life you could have with someone else.

    It seems like you really just have commitment issues.

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What Girls Said 7

  • I want to get married because I want to make the ultimate commitment when I meet the right guy. Just being in a relationship isn't enough for me long term wise. Obviously right now the last thing I want is marriage but when I'm older and want to start having children and have met the right guy I'd love to get married. Marriage to me is about the commitment and making that promise in front of your friends/family and just declaring that this is the person you want to be with for the rest of your life. It's not about benefits or any of that BS. I couldn't care less about "messy divorce papers". When it happens, it happens but I'm definitely not going to let that get in my way. That's like worst case scenario and that's almost like saying "oh I don't want to have a relationship because what if we break up". You get pretty messy break ups as well.

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  • I don't want to get married for the exact reason you stated. If things don't work out there is no messy divorce. We go our separate ways and move on with our lives.

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  • Peple want to get married if they want kids. Being married is more stable for your family since it won't leave your kids traumatized if you have a revolving door of guys.

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  • I don't. Never have.;)

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    • I know marriage was more popular in the old days not so much anymore at least not in canada

    • Yeah I grew up in canada , part of my childhood. I hadn't heard about M till I came back to the states.

      I really thought no1 did it anymore.

      If a Guy needs a piece of paper to persuade him to stay, I'd like him to leave. I dint need anyone resenting being with mer, but staying because he signed something. no thank you. that hole feeling obligated to work on because you signed something, as apposed to you love-is BS

      likewise, I don't feel like going through other people just to move out if I want to.

  • I don't ever want to get married either.

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  • I feel exactly like you do in this!

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  • It's sad you have this perspective of marriage. Don't you want to commit to something/someone? I was raised with two parents who loved each other unconditionally and plan to stay together forever. It's very difficult for me to see how a person can be against marriage. It just shows if you can't commit to one person, you probably can't commit to other things. Plus, I'm a religious person so I have always believed in marriage. Our generation is quickly losing sight on how to love someone unconditionally. It's all about me me me. It's almost pathetic if you ask me.

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