I recently got married and I got mad at my wife because she was talking to her EX's uncle. I didn't care at first but she was talking to him right in front of me. And what bothered me about the conversation was that she didn't even mention me at all or that she was married. Her EX has caused problems for our relationship before and I must have had some unresolved resentment from that experience because I became very angry and it pissed me off like I've never been pissed before at. her My blood felt like it was boiling.She noticed I was upset because I got real quiet.
Finally I told her what was bothering me and I told her exactly how I felt. I thought is was weird that she was talking to them and I also told her that "I don't see how staying in contact with them can benefit our relationship? "I told her" I don't understand why you didn't tell them you were married or even mentioned my name." I told her not to talk to his family anymore or we are going to have serious problems."
Am I wrong for this? Am I being controlling? I don't want to be like that but I can't help how I feel. I don't think her family is beneficial for our relationship and I view them as my enemy. Because their son or nephew or who ever he is to them got his heart broke because I took his girl. He treated her like #$%^ but she still had feelings for him when we first started dating and she put me through hell because I was in love with her and put up with her sneaking behind my back hanging out with..
I finally got rid of him after a few months ;now she won't answer his phone calls and now her family is calling her.I just want these people to leave my marriage alone in peace. I'm tired of being reminded of this guy.
I think she is mad at me for saying what I said. I don't think I can compromise this. Am I being too controlling by laying the law down with her Ex and his family? Any opinions or comparisons?
Most Helpful Girl
hmmm, It would be one thing if she ended the relationship with this other guy on even terms but now that her family has started to called after she ignored his calls that seems strange. A persona can still be close to an Ex's family but it is not a good idea in this situation I don't think.
There may be only so much you can do, controlling someone isn't really a good idea because it will push her away. But at the same time this is not a good idea for her to keep talking to them. She should have resolved all this before you got married to be honest. She really needs to determine who she really wants to be with. It's okay to still really like an Ex or his/her family but it impunes upon the husband of wife which of course is you in this situation.
You have to walk a fine line, because you have to push her to cut them out but not so much that it causes problems in the relationship. I know it seems like this guy and his family are the problem which they are of course, but she is the real problem, she shouldn't be doing this. She shouldn't have gotten married if she were still so attached to someone else and his family, you made her cut him out did you not?
You aren't wrong, they need to go but she has a bigger choice to make I think, why is she talking to them, if she didn't have feelings for him or his family whatever those feelings are then she wouldn't need to talk to them. There's no logical motivation for it unless she really still had an emotional bond to them. I think she needs to respect you and your relationship more for one but I still think she really needs to figure out what she really wants because she can't have both.
I wish I could help more, sorry0