I don't think about marriage...like....ever

I always hear girls talking about "someday when they get married," and I never seem to think that way.

I for fun visualize a dress, but its always changing.

I look ahead in my life and can't visualize me married or with kids really, even though I wouldn't mind having both later on in life.

However, its not something I can easily visualize, nor am I yearning for it.

If I yearn for a wedding, it can only be for the beautiful dress, jewelry and all the food/party, literally. Just a big party.

In addition, I look ahead and think "when I buy a car, when I buy a house, I i I i" and I never once think 'well one day when my future husband and I buy a house..." I just never go there in my mind.

Does this mean I am not the marriage type? Is this common?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • To me, it just means that you aren't completely stuck on the pre-1960s paradigm where women's status came almost completely from her husband. In the modern era, women don't HAVE to wait for a man to get what she wants in life, nor does she have to give up her dreams for her man. IMO, it's a healthy attitude.

    That doesn't mean you won't get married, or won't WANT to get married, at some point down the road when you're closer to being ready for it. You're just smart not to obsess about something that you aren't ready for right now. There will be plenty of time to make plans when the time comes.

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What Guys Said 11

  • Youre right there with the rest of the girls as far as I can determine. The old saying is that girls dream about their wedding, boys dream about being married. There are no absolutes of course, but in my experience things tend toward that stereotype.

    So you can have fun visualizing a dress, a setting, all the stuff that goes with the change, the ceremonial crossing over. While the stereotypical guy will not think much of those things and will more be thinking of what you're going to do together when things have calmed down. (I.E. sex in bed, sex in the bathroom, holiday sex, morning quickies, late night sex etc.)

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  • I don't think it means anything. I don't think about it either.

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  • you don't have to force yourself on judging yourself. if you only have dreams of beautiful bride dress, party, cake, jewelry, etc in wedding, you are entitled to fantasize those things. but since you are not a kind of person who yearns marriage and is ready for other things in it like having and raising kids then just don't marry someone. and you don't have to make yourself have the same dreams as other women. let nature flow. you don't have to be so desperate to get a husband. dream and reality are different world. be happy with yourself. whether you will change your mind or not make sure its not because you're forced.

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  • Most men don't either.

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  • "I don't think about marriage [...] ever"

    "I for fun visualize a dress, but it's always changing"

    You're thinking about marriage. You're just appreciating different aspects of the idea.

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    • Im not thinking about "marriage" I am thinking about the dress. a dress. Not the person I would marry.

    • That's fine. You're thinking about the ritual. It's not uncommon for women to think about the ritual and appreciate the thought.

      And I'd wager that it's a good thing that you're not longing for a particular imaginary husband also.

  • Well if you are single is probably because you haven't found the one yet...i am pretty sure that if you found the person that you really love, you would really want to marry them.

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  • I think once all your friends around you start having kids then you'll start to feel a little different.

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  • neither do i; why think about such insanity anyway?

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  • When you find someone you love. You will find yourself one day thinking about it.

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  • Some people are marriage material some are not

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  • Marriage is something you do once you've established your social identity.

    You're still on that journey of self-idealization. That's normal. This process can take years and years. Once you've become stable with yourself mentally and physiologically, you'll be ready and willing to take the next step.

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What Girls Said 8

  • Does this mean I am not the marriage type?

    Most likely.

    Is this common?

    Not wanting to marry is pretty common in my country, America.

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  • i don't want to get married either,my dreams include buying a flat,getting a job,getting a cat or bird-no husband in sight. I think it's good because so many girls dream of their perfect guy,and they usually get disappointed,clingy,desperate or get carried away with their thoughts on what romance should be. at least you'll know when you're really in love.

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  • Im not really sure if I am going to get married but if I do I want either a gothic wedding or a zombie themed one. But then again most of my relationships suck so I don't blame you.

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  • The dress, jewelry, party etc that's what all girls dream of when they think of getting married.

    I don't think most of us are dreaming about it in order to be married or having a husband, it's just the day itself where the dream lies.

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  • i don't think about marriage, either, the idea of settling down is a bit scary, but my mom always brings up the topic unknowingly which gets me all depressed and worried..."will ANYBODY ever marry you" or "where do you think your future husband will be?" *facepalm*

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  • me too. I don't want to get married ever but this might change as I grow older.

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  • Not necessarily, you're just not in that stage in your life. I didn't really yearn for or dream of my wedding when I was younger either. I didn't really start thinking about it until I started dating my most recent SO and he asked me to marry him, so I guess the feeling was right. We aren't getting married for two years but I'm thinking a lot about it now!

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  • don't worry, there is nothing wrong with not getting married but it just seems that you are really independent which is really great, and people change all the time, don't worry just do what makes you happy

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