My wife is not showing me text from her ex husband's wife?

This is a strange one.

Last night I was talking to my wife when we got on the topic about her "baby daddy's" wife. My wife claims that she is has been harassed for 5 years but won't tell him or do anything about it. She thinks it will put her 5 yr. old daughter in some kind of hostile environment. We are newly weds as of May and know each other for over two years and been together for one year. Because we are married now, her problems are my problems.

So, last night I asked to see the messages that she has been receiving. She denied me the privilege to see them. She said it was for my own good. To protect me. That the content of the text where "nasty and gross" That she talks a lot of smack about her and myself. Sexual stuff about her and my wife's ex husband. I feel she is telling the truth but the fact that she is not willing to show me I feel there is more to the story.



So here is what I need to do to make me sane again.

1. I can tell my wife that she needs to block that ladies number. That all communications should go through the house phone or voice mail on my cell phone.

2. Still working on these next few options... please help.

Updates:
So pissing me off was the less of both evils. the content had to be really bad to "by choice" want to piss your spouse off. It had to be bad. Now I am mad at her rather than the ex's wife. How does that make any sence. Is she's protecting her? Or does she have something to hide?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • You should leave her alone about it. You could nicely suggest that she doesn't have to put up with that, and she can block that lady if she wants too, but just be supportive because she is just trying to deal with it the best way she can.

    She is worried about her daughter, and she doesn't want to do more things to irritate these untrustworthy people who might take it out on her child.

    Don't try to make it "your problem" because sometimes if you try to defend her against them, it could make things worse for her daughter and therefore, for your wife.

    Clearly, they want to hurt your wife, so they probably would hurt her daughter, too.

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    • Also, I think the real reason she didn't want you to see them is because they are so negative and disturbing. Even though you want to help, she doesn't want you to get more upset because it is a volatile situation. She's probably just trying to keep the peace and get through it. You should trust her to make her own decisions.

    • I'm just very upset because she didn't show me. If I could not handle the messages then I would stop looking. I would get an idea of what she is dealing with and move forward together. Now I am in wonderland thinking of the posibilities. She should have shown me there and then. Now it's an issue and cannot be reversed. If you are right, she did not trust me to begin with. Now I am doubting her.

    • Maybe it's not that she thinks you can't handle it, it's that she just doesn't want to give it any more attention than she has to. Has she ever done or said anything that would make you not trust her? If it really means that much to you, maybe you should let her know how much this bothers you. She might not know that you really feel you need to see them.

What Girls Said 3

  • I think you should suggest that your wife block the wretched woman's number, but leave it up to her. Yes you are married and some problems are shared, but not so much on this one. You should trust her. If she doesn't want you to see the messages she probably doesn't want you to see them and get mad. She might just want to handle this situation herself, but it's important that you let her know that you're there to help if she so chooses.

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  • Maybe shesembarassed about what it says

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  • He could be harassing her

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What Guys Said 0

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