Sell Me Marriage--Can You?

[Anonymous]

After seeing a bit of 'Up in the Air' I have to wonder if he didn't have a point. So, can you prove George Clooney's character wrong? Can you sell a guy marriage?

Thinking about it, I realized--50% of marriages end in divorce. The woman initiates 75% of the time. About 90% of the time it's her getting full custody of the kids, and getting spousal support, alimony, etc. Plus half the stuff, even if she was a housewife. Also, the whole culture that encourages "till death do us a part, or you make me unhappy." Think about it--how many divorces or near divorces do you know of that were because of just affairs or physical abuse? Studies say women and men are equally adulterous, so men should be initiating divorce 50% if the time if affairs are a huge role, not 25%.

Also, getting married and having kids, even if you are the lucky half of guys who get a wife who doesn't want divorce, is a ton of work. Studies also show that women getting fatter in marriage than guys (who blow up after divorce) and having a kid is a huge strain on your marriage, and we all know the jokes that go like, "One food kills women's sexual appetite--wedding cake."

So really, is there any way you can sell marriage to guys today, over just living together, or long term girlfriends, and adopting as a single parent, if he wanted a child?

[sarcasticbella]

if a guy doesn't want to get married its perfectly fine, he shouldn't feel obligated to conform to preconceived notions about what his next step in life should be. If he has to be sold on marriage then he's not the marrying type.

That being said I do think there are benefits to marriage, mainly when it comes to having children. It makes both parents more accountable for the child and makes it harder for one to just cut out and leave you in a bad situation. Also people tend to work harder to maintain their relationship more so when their married than when their just dating, it forces you not give up so easily.

And at this point its such a common custom that not getting married makes you the outcast and lots of women would feel a lack of commitment from you not wanting to marry them. Its like the ultimate form of commitment and binding yourself to someone. In theory its just a piece of paper, a legal document, but what it represents means so much more. Its an official affirmation of your love and promises, it makes you more of a unit and that comes with a sense of security.

[why-makoto-kun]

I need to see that movie. Marriage scares me and I am a woman, so what does that say? :p

[Asker]

You would make Rex Harrison stop during his "Why can't a woman be more like a man" song and stare in amazement. :D

[why-makoto-kun]

Hahaha!

[Exaliftin]

When you think like this, either marriage isn't for you (and might not ever be), or you're not ready to marry. I don't think you're wrong if it's any consolation; personally I think marriage is completely frivolous and an over-used social norm for essentially "approving" a relationship. It's for people that need a label for everything in life.

On the flip side, even though your statistics are accurate and CANNOT be disputed...you can't EVER predict what is going to happen when you do meet that girl that drives you f***ing crazy with excitement and love.

Who's to say the risk is worth the reward or not? Wouldn't you take a shot at marriage if one side of the coin says you'll forever live with happiness with your soulmate? Even if it's a 50% chance, I'd take those odds over and over again.

[UberTroll]

I totally agree! I've seen people blow all sorts of money at casinos on worse odds with a lesser reward, yet marriage seems like such a horrible idea to most of those people. Go figure.

[Asker]

For men, it's like playing a game where you can owe the house multiple payments over the next five years. Spousal support? Child support? On TOP of losing half of everything, even your retirement fund she never had anything to do with?

[Asker]

Oh, and Vegas odds? If you play blackjack and follow the basic strategy chart, just playing table minimum, you'll only lose 2%, if you play for an hour or so. Plus, divorce isn't just, you blew your cash, it means you have to lose half of everything, even retirement fund she didn't touch, and probably pay her spousal support, and if kids, child support while you only get every other weekend or something like that.

[dudeman]

well legal marriage no but to have a ceremony sure why not if you felt that strongly about it I see no problem with a symbolic event or gesture purely for the sake of a celebration, that what humans do we celebrate things. I am sure there will be super amounts of 2012 parties and committing your self is way more important then some weird thought somebody had

[prophecy]

if you're a man making a good living and you actually get married you are (partially) mentally retarded.

no question about it.

[Anonymous]

As a married guy, who knows mainly married guys ...

do not do it until/if you want kids, get a prenup, and consider moving somewhere that's more balanced if a divorce happens.

[prophecy]

wrong; there is absolutely no need to get married if you want kids. you can protect your parent related rights other ways.

there is absolutely no reasons let alone benefits for men to get married. none.