Her family attacked me........should I try to make things work with her?

Earlier tonight I pretty much got my a** handed to me. I come in from work, open the door.

I see my girlfriend, her mom, both her sisters, her dad is walking towards me, and her brother's fist coming from behind the door. My jaw is killing me, hoping my ribs aren't broken.

All of this because they thought I was cheating.

I was really planning on proposing and getting a head start on the wedding planning.

See, for the last two months I've been kind of sneaking around meeting with a wedding planner that a couple of my friends have used. She's the type that likes to meet with her potential clients multiple times before officially working for them. Me and my girlfriend have gone to plenty of weddings over the last two years and at everyone she would "ooh" and "aww" over something. I'd always keep a mental note and later write it down, and at the most recent weddings I've taken pictures of the item(s). So that's why I decided to go ahead an start the planning process and then after I propose let my girlfriend in on my big secret. She could change a few things here and there and then we would just have to worry about picking places and testing things. Got the idea basically from hearing all of my friend's wives complain about how they never help out with anything. I wanted to be better than they were/are. I wanted to give my girlfriend the best, be there for her, show her how much I appreciate her, and to help with the little thing. Now, I don't think that can happen.

After they let up on me and allowed me to talk, I explained everything. I pulled out my phone and flipped to the pics I had one picture of the wedding planner. I asked "Is this the one you saw me with?"(here's the rest of the conversation)

Her Brother: "Yeah that's the f***ing s*** I saw you with, see I told you he was cheating, piece of s***(he kicks me again)

Me: "I didn't cheat and she's not a s*** dumba**"(he kicks me again)

Her Dad: "Then who the hell is she"

Me: "If you let me get up I can show you everything"

Her Dad: "well get up you little b****"

I get up and walk over to the entertainment center reach under her brother runs up behind me. Grabs me by the head and slams my head into the tv. Starts screaming about how I was trying to grab a gun. So tell him to reach under himself there's two folders and a small box.

One folder held all the stuff the wedding planner and I had put together from the collection of things I had remember and taken photos of. Along with samples and other things

The second held possible places to have the wedding and honeymoon spots.

The small box was her engagement ring.

Me: " The sl** you claim you saw me with is a wedding planner, I was trying to get a things going to make it easier for your sister."

After that it was nothing but crying and screaming. She tried so hard to get me to stay. Even now I can hear her saying "please please I'll do anything please I'm sorry don't go".

I guess this is what they meant by nice guys finish last?

  • Forgive everything and move foward with the planning
    0% (0)0% (0)0% (0)Vote
  • Just cut all ties and forget the relationship ever happened
    75% (9)82% (14)79% (23)Vote
  • Get back together but avoid anything that involves her family
    25% (3)18% (3)21% (6)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
Updates:
I Mean I'm in a s*** load of pain right now but it hurts worst hearing the voice mails she's leaving me. Even if we did get back together she doesn't trust me. I'd never want anything to do with her family. Hell I'd be looking to get payback first chance I got, and little do they know everything they did tonight was allowed. I couldve very easily turned things around. I just don't know what to do at this point currently at a friends house just lost. I don't even want to go back for my stuff
Part of me wants to just forget everything and start over. Find a new girl and forget this relationship ever happened just take it as a listen learned.

But

The other half wants her so bad. Even though it was her family who screwed up I want to be there with her so bad so I can stop her from crying to make things better. I mean if you can hear these voice mails there's just so much pain in her voice.


I just don't know what to do
Im not going back I mean sitting here thinking about it I realize

Within five minutes of stepping into my home

1. she didn't trust me at all

2. she completely accepted everything her brother said. I mean hell I didn't even get a text or call asking if I'm screwing around.

3. her family has complete control over her even when she was asking me to stay she still stood with them

4. she was willing to let me get my ass kicked

5. I just wasted nearly three years thinking about our future


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Without a doubt B.

    She can never claim to love you if she allowed you too be treated this way. The obvious thing for her to do would be to confront you and ask you if what her brother said is really true. You would then be given a chance to explain yourself and the whole situation would be solved.

    They have clearly shown that they hold no love and are completely incapable of forgiveness. Even when there was nothing to forgive in this situation. It still show that they have a dog eat dog mentality.

    Some people may come with the excuses that they did what they did because they cared. Behaving psychotic is not a sign of caring. This whole situation could have easily been resolved with no violence or conflict.

    I'm sorry you had to experience this.

    You still have a chance to get that girl who deserves you. Maybe this was a blessing in disguise. If this situation didn't happen now, she would still be the same person. At least now you know what she's made of. Would you still want her as a wife knowing what you know now? Even if this incident never would have happened?

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What Girls Said 8

  • did this really happen? that's insane,

    She fully deserves to be left in the dust, anguished voice mails don't change or make up for the fact she was happy to watch you get the sh*t kicked out of you when she thought you were cheating based on a few stupid sightings.



    ...and no this doesn't mean "nice guys finish last" they gave you a beat down because they thought you were an a**hole...when they realized you were a good guy your Girlfriend begged you to stay right?

    you're the one who wants to forgive her still be with her after she organised your beating, when there's probably a million nice girls out there you could date who've never participate in gang bashing...if anything this is "nice girls finish last"

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  • B. Move on. You don't deserve to be around violent people or even people who condone it (like her). No communication, wrong assumptions, and fists everywhere?! Get out now. It will just repeat itself if you go back. Have you pressed charges yet?

    Also, I'm sorry but she sounds like a bad person for not defending you or double checking the facts. She's insecure about the relationship and way too passive. And hell, even if you did cheat that still doesn't give them the right to use violence against you.

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    • I don't mean to butt in but she may not be a bad person, just insecure for one and trusts her 'blood line' over her 'choice' which end of the day translates to a no go situation here :)

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    • By that logic, no one should report rape because they'd have to deal with their rapist. Come on. We don't need these criminals walking the street scott free. You can get protection and a restraining order if you need to.

    • I've filed charges...Im stay at a friends house and his wife came home from work last night and pretty much wouldn't take no for a answer so we went to the hospital. Luckily my jaw and nose are fine but I have two cracked ribs and a lot of bruises. The hospital called the cops well my buddies wife had the nurse call the cops and I went ahead an filed charges...hopefully this doesn't turn into something worse apparently her dad, brother, and one of her sister(she a warrant) are pulled in

  • That is crazyyyyyyy

    Police station.now! Don't marry into this crazy ass family

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    • Im not getting the police involved simply cause I don't want to deal with them anymore. It'll just bring more drama

    • I've filed charges...Im stay at a friends house and his wife came home from work last night and pretty much wouldn't take no for a answer so we went to the hospital. Luckily my jaw and nose are fine but I have two cracked ribs and a lot of bruises. The hospital called the cops well my buddies wife had the nurse call the cops and I went ahead an filed charges...hopefully this doesn't turn into something worse apparently her dad, brother, and one of her sister(she a warrant) are pulled in

  • omg...i mean I could see both sides...it would look suspicious and even though her family is crazy as hell, they were just trying to stick up for her because they love her and wouldn't want a douchebag cheating on her. but I could see why you feel uncomfortable around them now since they went crazy on you when you were completely innocent and you feel like it's hard to be with her now. but you gotta understand how it must have looked and realize that it was all just a big misunderstanding. I think you need to sit down with all of them and get them to apologize to you. her entire family. if thhey don't give you an apology, leave her. an unsupportive crazy family isn't worth it.

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    • could see both sides? No, there's no excuse for their behavior. They were just making f***ing assumptions and attacked with no real evidence.

    • I've filed charges...Im stay at a friends house and his wife came home from work last night and pretty much wouldn't take no for a answer so we went to the hospital. Luckily my jaw and nose are fine but I have two cracked ribs and a lot of bruises. The hospital called the cops well my buddies wife had the nurse call the cops and I went ahead an filed charges...hopefully this doesn't turn into something worse apparently her dad, brother, and one of her sister(she a warrant) are pulled in

  • Wow this is the most intense story I've heard on here so far :( I'm so sorry that you had to go through such an unfortunate event. I'm glad you are smart enough to think it through though. I'm kind of shocked! Like, I feel like I just read a summary of a novel and I'm still taking it all in and analyzing it. Don't worry! Ur an amazing guy and I'm sure any woman would die to have you.God bless your future.

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    • I've filed charges...Im stay at a friends house and his wife came home from work last night and pretty much wouldn't take no for a answer so we went to the hospital. Luckily my jaw and nose are fine but I have two cracked ribs and a lot of bruises. The hospital called the cops well my buddies wife had the nurse call the cops and I went ahead an filed charges...hopefully this doesn't turn into something worse apparently her dad, brother, and one of her sister(she a warrant) are pulled in

  • If you marry her you marry her family no matter how much you try to avoid them. Break all ties.

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  • I'm sorry that would be a real hard decision! but if she just watched you get beat up and stuff..i don't think id go back..what if they think your cheating again? What would happen to you next..

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    • I've filed charges...Im stay at a friends house and his wife came home from work last night and pretty much wouldn't take no for a answer so we went to the hospital. Luckily my jaw and nose are fine but I have two cracked ribs and a lot of bruises. The hospital called the cops well my buddies wife had the nurse call the cops and I went ahead an filed charges...hopefully this doesn't turn into something worse apparently her dad, brother, and one of her sister(she a warrant) are pulled in

    • Well, I think you made a good decision..im sure it was hard..but good in the long run!(:

  • Break it off and file for assault. Karma doesn't do anything, trust me. Honestly my jaw dropped reading this and you need to do something about those sick people, "drama" or not.

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    • I've filed charges...Im stay at a friends house and his wife came home from work last night and pretty much wouldn't take no for a answer so we went to the hospital. Luckily my jaw and nose are fine but I have two cracked ribs and a lot of bruises. The hospital called the cops well my buddies wife had the nurse call the cops and I went ahead an filed charges...hopefully this doesn't turn into something worse apparently her dad, brother, and one of her sister(she a warrant) are pulled in

What Guys Said 9

  • 1. I voted 'B'

    2. I'd have normally said forget everything and speak to her, her sibling and parents misunderstood but not her etc BUT only if I hadn't gone through a similar 'suspicion and action' situation that today keeps me away from my child. Ofcourse no one socked me cause I could and still can take on at least 4-5 of her relatives and they won't dare even confront me as I am quite powerful too apart from physical power ;-)

    3. Out of experience but no personal hang ups (cause I saw it coming years ago but thought and was (over) confident that things will change), in 1st place

    3.1. She didn't speak to her parents and brother supporting you

    3.2. She didn't speak to you first before letting them get to you and talk to you (more than that actually)

    3.3. These guys are going to be breathing down your married life even if you don't notice it (behind your back)

    3.4. These chaps will keep hounding you for everything they don't understand or wind up misunderstanding things while your girlfriend now and wife (god forbid - don't mind me saying that, it's in good intent) later will keep mum or not have the strength to stand up to you

    3.5. She doesn't have the power to stand up against them is not to do with her being a baby girl of the family but about her trust on them more than trust on you - whether you believe it or not / she realizes it or not

    Get out while you still can buddy

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    • i am totally agreed with your advice.,

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    • I've filed charges...Im stay at a friends house and his wife came home from work last night and pretty much wouldn't take no for a answer so we went to the hospital. Luckily my jaw and nose are fine but I have two cracked ribs and a lot of bruises. The hospital called the cops well my buddies wife had the nurse call the cops and I went ahead an filed charges...hopefully this doesn't turn into something worse apparently her dad, brother, and one of her sister(she a warrant) are pulled in

    • Good you went legal :) and it's on record. Expect the worst always in such cases. Luckily things have happened now and not much later and nor have you (like me) thought that things will get better in the future when she realizes you are a 'good guy'. Such people generally only want the good guys for controlling them and not to change themselves or acknowledge your goodness :)

  • This question should get you some kind of prize here at Gag!

    Her family is nuts, but if you care about her, you should forget what her crazy family did and get back with her. But unless they apologize on their knees and all, I'd say they aren't allowed at the wedding.

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    • The more I think about it

      The more I feel getting back together isn't good for us. Because this situation will always be hanging over us. Cause if we do get back together I want nothing to do with her family. Therefore making her choice between me or them in certain situations. or if we have kids we wouldn't visit as a family etc. it would just be a big mess but I don't know I'm just mentally screwed up right now

    • Are you aware that the reason it all happened was because of her own lack of trust - as how all her family become so involved in it all, with making such kind of rash assumptions?

    • It was her brother who saw me with the wedding planner at lunch. He was the one that got this all started. Though your point is still valid see as she allowed them to do this without even attempting to question me

  • They are a family of f***ing d*** heads ! that's all I can say from the description above... BUT don't just let it go by buddy...I 'advice' you (Would've brainwashed you if I knew you in person) to give that BROTHER of hers a dose of his own medicine...

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  • Morale of the story - don't give pearls to a swine.

    I have always known that if you give good things to people who are unable to appreciate them, in the end it will be you who shall suffer, but apparently you have already learned it the hard way.

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    • Honestly I've never heard that saying...but man we have had some great times together. I mean friend for going seven years now a couple for almost three. Its just hell I don't know it just f***ed up

    • It's from the bible.

      "Give not that which is holy unto the dogs,

      neither cast ye your pearls before swine,

      lest they trample them under their feet,

      and turn again and rend you. "

      Sadly they trampled your pearls and turned against you.

  • First off, if the story is real you should go get a police report done, you don't have to press charges. After that go get yourself examined by a doctor. You never know whether you have any other injuries, if you do then go see a lawyer.

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    • I've filed charges...Im stay at a friends house and his wife came home from work last night and pretty much wouldn't take no for a answer so we went to the hospital. Luckily my jaw and nose are fine but I have two cracked ribs and a lot of bruises. The hospital called the cops well my buddies wife had the nurse call the cops and I went ahead an filed charges...hopefully this doesn't turn into something worse apparently her dad, brother, and one of her sister(she a warrant) are pulled in

  • This is a perfect example of stupid paranoid people who assume things without any good proof. F***this pisses me off. F*** THEM.

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    • I've filed charges...Im stay at a friends house and his wife came home from work last night and pretty much wouldn't take no for a answer so we went to the hospital. Luckily my jaw and nose are fine but I have two cracked ribs and a lot of bruises. The hospital called the cops well my buddies wife had the nurse call the cops and I went ahead an filed charges...hopefully this doesn't turn into something worse apparently her dad, brother, and one of her sister(she a warrant) are pulled in

  • Call the cops, assault is illegal.

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    • @update: that's nice, are you gonna finally call the cops?

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    • She is definitely my ex...i've already got hate calls from her mom

    • Hah, tell the cops about that. Log every single thing she says and when she called. Keep a diary/log of such things. It's evidence against them.

  • Get out while you can

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  • f*** her & her family

    file assault charges

    never even talk to her again don't even let her try to appologize cut off all contact with her & her family.

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    • I've filed charges...Im stay at a friends house and his wife came home from work last night and pretty much wouldn't take no for a answer so we went to the hospital. Luckily my jaw and nose are fine but I have two cracked ribs and a lot of bruises. The hospital called the cops well my buddies wife had the nurse call the cops and I went ahead an filed charges...hopefully this doesn't turn into something worse apparently her dad, brother, and one of her sister(she a warrant) are pulled in

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