I have been in a serious relationship with my boyfriend for almost 5 years and we've been living together for about 2 years. I'm 22 and he is 26.
Long story short, tonight we were talking about getting engaged/married. We were out of town for our anniversary weekend (a concert that he bought tickets for as a surprise) and I teasingly said that the way he talked it up, I thought he was going to propose--especially because he never plans ANYTHING in advance and is not romantic in the slightest.
But get this... He got mad and told me I was nuts for thinking he was going to propose any time soon, and I quote, "What, did you think I was going to whisk you off of your feet and go on some romantic vacation and then propose? Yeah right." And this was not in the teasing, sarcastic way--I'm talking VENOM in his voice. Then he went in the bedroom and slammed the door.
We truly have a great relationship until this subject comes up. For almost 3 years he has been saying he has the perfect ring picked out, knows exactly how he is going to propose, etc, but then there's always an excuse... And it's always MY fault, of course. This is giving me a complex! I'm starting to think something is horribly wrong with me and that I'll never be good enough. I feel like he's leading me on for some reason.
Seriously, for example: if I miss a day washing the dishes because I was tired from work or something, he'll say "And this is why we're not married yet, because I don't know if you're going to turn into a slob after I marry you."
Tonight he basically told me that if I want to get married so badly, I should find someone else who does. I just don't get it. He acts so happy with me until this subject comes up, and he's the one who always used to bring up engagement and marriage, and said how excited he was about finding the perfect ring for me... Now it's like he turns into a monster.
Anyway, I want honest opinions because at this point, although I do love him, I'm considering moving out of our house and breaking up with him. I can't tolerate the way he disregards my feelings and talks down to me about this anymore.
Most Helpful Girl
If he was talking to me like that then I would not give him the time of day. If he really loved you and cared about you he would treat you with more respect and not be so horrible. It sounds like he is using you as a slave and feels comftable at the moment and does not want to take things any further. I know its hard when you love someone but you also need to be happy.
I think you need to have some time apart from him with out seeing him or speaking to him for a few days so that you can figure out what you really want. I think you need to think about how you feel, think if you are really happy and can see your self being happy in the future or is it time to move out and move on. After you have had your space and your think it would then be the time to sit down and talk to him face to face and be mature, open and honest about how you feel and what you think and ask him to be aswell. If he is not willing to talk this through and you can not figure things out then it is time for the relationship to end.
I know that some people do not want to get married which is fair enough, but if he does not want to get married and it is not in his future plans then he should have told you this earlier on.
You are still young and have time to find someone else, someone who will give you the love and respect that you deserve. This will also give you a chance to have fun with your friends and do the things that you want to do. I know it is hard now and it will take time to move on but you will be fine after a while.1