Im Tired of my husband! I hate him!

[Anonymous]

I've been married to him for 3 years. At first while we were dating he was such a perfect guy to me, he is handsome, good looking and good at making people like him. He started to become emotionally distant to me few months before our wedding, we did fight about things but ended up with marriage.

He smokes and gambles which I'm sick of it so much but he never want to stop. He is overly dominant and loud talker which makes it extremely difficult to discuss anything to him, it will turn into argument with him, and in the end he will make anything as if I'm the trouble maker, while he is the rightful one.

I did try to be a good wife like I cook for him but he is very picky and didn't want to eat, if I clean the house, he say it is not clean enough, he doesn't really appreciate so I'm tired of trying to please him. He wants me to obey his words and not reject everything he said. He also uses sex to control me, he always refuse to have sex when I initiate, sex is only happen when he ask for it. I am so frustrated and feel unwanted when he just easily refuse my me with stupid reasons.

He had abused me physically for 3 times and that the third time I really did threaten him back to the point he is now scared to hit me or anything. He is now getting better at handling his temper.

Many times, as I think I'm still young (28) and good looking I want to get better life, I always want to get divorce but things are not that easy, I have accidentally have a 2 yo son and now I'm pregnant with my second. Husband loves and care about our son so much that is why its hard to just leave. People say that I'm lucky to have such good looking and caring husband, he is really good at getting along with people, and he makes people likes him. That is why it makes everything harder for me.

I just feel unloved and unwanted, the last arguments we had was about sex, he refused me. he said That he doesn't like everything about me and that there's nothing good about me. It's so sad and frustrating.

I dint feel emmotionally connected to him, is this marriage normal? What should I do? Please no harsh comments

Thanks for your advice

[SwiftShadow]

*I tried to be a good wife and cook for him but he is very picky and didn't want to eat* lol isn't that every guys dream... though most of us just get slaped and yelled for that if we try to say that to our girl... and after that your told not good enough... lol

When I normally read these kind of questions... I am 90% on the side of the person that didn't wirte it because most people come here to get justyfication for their own wrongdoing bullsh1t.

But... this time...that guy is an a hole.

Gambles with your money, you cook, clean but not good enough. ( I am like the lazyes f*** ever...if I had my way I woulnt clean at all...come be my wife and clean one a month I would be happy x.x)

And cooking... lol if anyone ever cooks for me, I will eat it even if I feel like I will have to throw up later, since they put the effort in it to make it, not just say nah not good enough. I would eat it first in tears, and then say it was crap(so next time will be better)

And then he hits u, no excuse for that.

Not even gonna go into the sex controll. (again most guys would be so happy if their gf/wife would try to make them f*** her constantly, not reject)

He is simply threaten you like garbage since he is sure you cant/wont leave.

U should just leave, if he tries to start begging you back or not to, make YOUR rules, take controll, if he breaks them (like hitting u, gambling, not helping in house?, b1tching about you not doing good enough etc...) then just leave again.

If he will be like whatever if you try to leave, well then he dosnt exactly care about you to begin with, and you have simply been a little abusing sex toy for him to be happy.

[Racez]

Would you want to continue a relationship if you're unappreciated despite your hardworks?

Unloved, unwanted, controlled, manipulated, and just used as a tool to be a sexual entertainer whenever he wants it? I think you must take it really, really hard, the pain that you're feeling, the burden you carry, and the responsiblity you have to your son.

Relationships should be about caring, understanding, and appreciating your significant other, and he does things the other way around. You're really strong woman. You're still young, and you can still have some good life ahead.

This may be a harsh decision, but it's best if you'll leave him for good. Everyday is like a torture for you, going on in life with the heaviness of your husband's arm on your back, as you struggle to be a good wife. You're have strong heart to be able to stand up against him. You have your happiness that needs to be attended to. Your son.. do you want him to be a gambler and drunkard someday? Do you want him to treat women just like how your husband does to you? Do you want him to follow in his disgusting footsteps?

I think it's best that you're better off without him. Your son and you can still afresh in life.

I hope you meet the guy someday that will treat you as how you want him to be. I hope your son grows up well as a well-raised, and loving to women and to everyone. Not just putting up some superficial values when with other people. And I hope you great success in seeking your happiness.

[Anonymous]

Why would you bring another child into the world with an abuser? Honestly this guy has zero respect towards you. Either go see a family therapist and you two talk it out, or just leave him. File a divorce form at your local courthouse and apply for full custody.
Also if he hits you again, call the police for domestic violence.

[bengi]

seriously get an abortion and get a divorce ...you deserve better

[cavmanier]

This marriage sounds toxic. He doesn't sound like he appreciates or respects you. You don't sound happy either. Breaking up sounds really hard because of the kids. I would consider letting him know how you feel and request relationship counseling. He may just be the wrong guy for you. Good luck though. I hope you work it out and find happiness.

[yopyopyop]

Just one word : divorce.