i want to def be married before 30. I'm not ready right now but I feel anxiety about finding my future husband. I feel like I'm running out of time since I'm about to be23. I'm thinking about the time it takes to meet someone, and date, then get engaged, then plan a wedding , and finally be married. I've been in 2 serious long term relationships. one for 3 years and one lasted a year and a half. I was single for a whole year between them. now I just broke up with the last guy. I feel hopeless at times. just because this recent guy I thought I'd marry and not have to start over again. it really gives me anxiety feeling so alone. like I've almost given up and accepted I'll be alone...i know I could meet someone but right now I just feel like time is passing me by and I've wasted my time with guys now I'll get screwed over. does anyone feel like this? when did you meet your husband or wife?
Most Helpful Guy
You bring up some interesting questions and I think that it is great that you're thinking far ahead.
1. For any future relationships and dating that you go on, if you go steady with a guy, you should ask him what his thoughts are on his own family history and marriage in general (not just the idea of marriage to you). That helps you screen out guys who are against marriage, which are growing in number. Marriage is very risky to men, but many are still willing to take the plunge, but you best filter out the guys who aren't ASAP, not six months to two years down the road.
2. Give all future men you date a six month check-up. Ask yourself, can I see myself marrying this man? Has he made any overtures to suggest that are his intentions? Have you both met each others' families?
3. 22 going on 23 is a great time to search to get married. 28-29-30 is so much harder and that's why there are four times as many girls that age doing online dating than girls your age. Now is the time for you to get serious about finding a man. You need to put yourself out there. Do online dating, join volunteer groups, join sporting events, talk to guys at the gym, supermarket, etc. You need to be interacting with the maximum number of men and finding out who is out there and marriage ready. You should be aiming for guys who are 25-35 who are stable in their career, come from a happy and intact family.
You'll be just fine. You're smarter than a lot of girls who wait until the eve of their 29th birthday to realize that they wanted to get married and were totally passive and didn't date at all in their 20's, or they dated bad boys that could end up pumping and dumping them. Don't date bad boys, but date mature men, and do it often till you know what's out there. Just like you have to be aggressive in applying many places for a job, do the same for finding a man who wants to marry. Your options increase the more work you put into your hunt!2