Is it immature not to want your husband there when you give birth?

I mean I want him to be close just not in the same room. I'd rather just do it with my mom and sister.

I just don't want him to see me like that. I didn't think he'd be that upset but he is. He didn't talk to me in two days. I'm only in the third month so we have some time to figure this out but I don't really think I'd change my mind


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It's a bit immature, but mostly it's just selfish. Obviously this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity matters a lot to him. He probably thought about watching his child enter the world, for most of his life. He may have fantasies about cutting the umbilical cord (many hospitals expect the husband to do that nowadays) and holding the baby for the first time.

    It seems wrong, to me, that you should be so dismissive about that. Even worse that you want your sister and mother there. They won't be allowed, by the way. Typically, you're allowed one birthing partner only.

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    • well at first he first he wanted us to do it at home but that's certainley not gonna happen. It's just too risky. I'm pretty sure at least my mom would be allowed. I kinda get he wants to be there but I just don't think realize who messy it's gonna be and how awkward it would be for me

    • And I'm sure he doesn't care how messy it's going to be - nor does it matter how awkward you think it's going to be for you.

      For better or worse - that's what most couples sign up for.

What Guys Said 4

  • maybe you don't get it, but what you're doing is VERY SELFISH.

    because of your "comfort" (I mean... gimme a break, will ya?) you're denying a father to watch *his own child* being born.

    i think it's not only immature, it's selfish, disgusting, unreasonable and pathetic. HIS OWN CHILD,

    if I were him we wouldn't even have this discussion. I'd be there. period end of story.

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  • All of the answers given are great and spot on. Just remember that your desire that he not see you at your perceived low is probably not as strong as his desire to help and support you through that low.

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  • It's his kid, why would you be against him being there?

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    • well as I said in the other comment t I just don't think realizes who messy it's gonna be and how awkward it would be for me. I don't want him to see me like that

    • Well I'd be very pissed at my wife for even mentioning she wanted to exclude me from my own child's birth. I don't think I could be in a stable relationship with a women like that.

  • He's the dad. Let him in if he wants. Otherwise, you're kind of a bitch and he should set himself up for a lifetime of that.

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What Girls Said 4

  • It's nice in a way that he's upset about it, it means that you giving birth to your child means a lot to him and he wants to be a part of it. What I suggest is that you both sit down and talk about it. You ask him why he feels the need to be present in the same room when you give birth and you tell him reasons why you don't want it. Maybe that way you both understand each other more and there will be no reason to be upset.

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  • I don't think it's immature. He should be supportive in making you feel comfortable during birth and if him watching you give birth makes you uncomfortable and stressed out you should not have to force yourself to allow him to watch you. But maybe you can just allow him in the room and tell him to stand by you and hold your hand.

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  • I don't think it's immature. But if it's his child, I would think that he would want to be there.

    Having a baby is an exciting time. There are a lot of things to consider and when the baby is born it's just so awesome!

    I can see why your husband would want to be there. He wants to see his new baby being born.

    In the end though, it's up to you. My one friend's bf/husband didn't want to be in the room when his son was born (his first child). And we all convinced him otherwise. He would regret not being in there, and so he was.

    It was great :) He was so happy he decided to go. Your husband is not going to mind if you aren't looking all that fabulous while giving birth. Birth is hard, you get sweaty, its painful, and it can take a long time.

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  • You can let him stay in the same room, just don't let him watch the actual birthing. Let him see it when it comes out, and he can still help with the umbilical cord.

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