Today my best friend of 15 years got engaged and the wedding is planned for July. Regardless of the wedding being a little shotgunny in my opinion, I've obviously been invited to the wedding.
I can bring a date, so naturally, I asked my boyfriend of a year and a half. I didn't think it'd be such a big deal to go, but he's freaking out.
We have a very serious relationship, but have never attended a wedding together as dates. He kept saying, "Wow, your best friend is getting married and we're going to the wedding. That's like, a big step."
I made it very clear that if attending the wedding with me made him in any way uncomfortable, he did not need to attend. I did not want to stress him out whatsoever.
He seems to be stressing about a few things:
1. My friends have all been getting married in the over the past year
2. He has not proposed to me
3. He now feels super old
The thing is though, I'm only 19, and all my friends who have been getting married are all younger than me. I am in no rush to get married. I am going to college, not getting married. My boyfriend is younger than me also. So he's certainly nowhere near ready for that step and there's seriously no pressure from me for a ring.
I just don't understand why he's freaking out. I told him he didn't have to go. He insisted that he wanted to. I told him that there's no pressure for our relationship to take that step. He's still freaking out. How do I calm him down? It's just a wedding. I assumed we were at a stage in our relationship where these things would be no big deal. We've gone to other events as a date before. Why should this be any different?
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It sort of seems like he's got a case of the "Keeping up with the Joneses" of sorts. He sees that everyone else is making these steps and feels like he's falling behind. I don't really know what the solution is to make him feel better.
In my opinion (and yours too), the two of you are way too young to be thinking about marriage. I don't think the two of you have been together long enough to be getting married either.
I don't really have any good advice, other than maybe talking to him a bit more about how he feels about it and why.0