Is marriage really dying out?

I'm 23 in college, I know I won't get married. I have seen men get destroyed by women during divorce cases, I refuse to let that happen to me. I would die alone than let a woman ruin my life. Most women nowadays aren't marriage or dating material, I've looked everywhere (I've given up and won't search again). Is marriage really dying out? Not only is the idea ofmarriage dying out to me, but the idea of love is an illusion to me as well.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't think marriage is dead! I'm dating material! I'm nice! I want marriage. haha. Don't give up. You'll find someone.

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    • We'll see

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    • Bornnardmt

    • I'll try to find you! Let me know if you have any other q's

What Girls Said 21

  • I am sorry but I think you might be too cautious or fearful. There is a 50 chance that you might get divorce. It is better to have asset before marrying than to separate when you divorce. So for every 1/2 girl you really get along, the chance you won't last. Most people who get divorce are 1)Married young (and didn't realize how they will grow apart) 2) Jump too fast into marriage (engagement period is very important)

    Marriage is not dying out (look at other countries too). What is happening is people have too many choices with the internet and the acceptance for cheating in our society...People also would rather call it quit than work it out. Most people are too impatient. Actually most guys who get divorce knows that getting married with that girl was a bad idea but the thought of not having sex drive them forward.

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  • Marriage rates are declining, but there are more socially acceptable ways of "being together" now than back in the earlier times when marriage was coined as the only official way to show your commitment to another person. Marriage isn't considered a 100% set in stone requirement anymore due to the

    A big part of love is chemical. It's a complicated emotion that does cause (dis)illusionment in many people. Example: Loving someone doesn't prevent you from hurting them, it just makes you feel bad about it after you've done it. The romanticized version of love we see on TV & in the movies that makes a lot of people think that what they experience in real life isn't "love" because it doesn't conquer all, last forever and make the rest of your (potentially horrible) life bearable. Many people end up shooting themselves in the foot, cutting off good, loving relationships (maybe during a rough patch) in search of that "true love" that they're fully convinced they can find with another person. (Because "true love" with "the one" could never be as hard or as painful as what they're experiencing now, with this current relationship).

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  • Unfortunately, it does seem like marriage is dying out. A lot of men these days feel apprehensive toward the idea of marriage. The ironic things is that it's not so much marriage that men have a problem with, it's divorce. They have the same fears as you do about getting destroyed by a divorce. Women on the other hand seem to be more apprehensive about marriage itself these days. Most of us still seem to want to get married, but there are definitely more girls who don't want to get married now than in the past.

    But marriage isn't completely dead. Even a lot of the people who say they'll never get married end up getting married. I think most people truly do want to spend their lives with a special person who they can rely on, the problem is that's not such an easy thing to find. But for the lucky few who do find it, all bets are off. My boyfriend always said he never wanted to get married, but I can tell he's been rethinking it lately. I can't say for certain, but I'm pretty sure it's only a matter of time before we end up tying the knot.

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    • "Women on the other hand seem to be more apprehensive about marriage itself these days."

      Totally me.

  • The thing is finding your soul mate should be a thing that you are very careful about at the same time it takes patience and time. Love is patience it I s about forgiving and learning to accept people for who they are loving them beyond that, sharing a connection. you remind me of a guy I used to date shying away fom a situation before you even experience it. Such is life you make a mistake, things do not work out you brush yourself off and try again. I too have had many failed relationships but I am willing to try. What you can do is have your wife do a pre-nup that way you aaren't totally destroyed and who goes into a marriage thinking they will get divorced by the way. Stop being so pessimistic we only have one life to live take a damn shot at it, face your fears

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    • Don't tell me what to do! Who do you think you are?! Take that controlling ass attitude elsewhere!

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    • MARRIAGE IS contractual , so its prostitution

    • Don't call me bro, I'm not your bro. I don't even know you and I don't like you. Get off my page and don't come back Amanda2a

  • I don't want to get married, either. Mostly because I have trust issues, I guess. And also, I feel like "marriage" adds a certain kind of pressure to fit into socially defined roles. People tell me marriage is what you make of it, but I can't get past the notion that it's a little to patriarchal for my tastes, due to the social conditioning.

    However, this government is kind of big on marriage. So if I felt like a situation would be easier with marriage for whatever reason, I'd probably do it. I just don't think too highly of it.

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  • Marriage isn't dying out...commitment is.

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  • Are you a duplicate of me? Let me reword this...

    I'm 22 in college, I know I won't get married. I have seen women get cheated on and oppressed by men during marriages, I refuse to let that happen to me. I would die alone than let a man ruin my life. Most men nowadays aren't marriage or dating material... Not only is the idea ofmarriage dying out to me, but the idea of love is an illusion to me as well.

    I still believe in love, but it will be through a LOT of luck I find someone right for my specific tastes. So I feel ya.

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  • Funny how you ask this I was just talking to a friend about this topic lol yes marriage is dying out I no I will never get married but there are still good women and good guys out there there just very hard to find I know I'm still looking its frustarting but it takes lots and lots of time

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  • I know what you mean. I'm 26 and single. I also do not know anyone my age who is not married. The only people I know are at church and they are 23. I just had a birthday. I feel so old. :/

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    • You aren't that older than me, wanna talk more. Send me a friend request.

  • I think that's fine as long as you don't lead anybody on. Don't date some poor girl for several years and only inform her that you don't believe in marriage 5+ years into the relationship when she sits down with you to discuss it. That's sh*tty. If you're upfront then it's fine.

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  • You asked the question "is marriage dying out?" I wouldn't say that it's dying out. Rather, too many people jump into it for the wrong reasons or sometimes the right reasons; just with the wrong people.

    That's okay if you never want to get married. However, see the situation clearly for what it is. From a realistic perspective. You mentioned that you have friends that have been burned from wenches that left them high and dry. Something to consider (as hard as it may be, considering these are your buddies/homies), is the subconscious reason(s) they were attracted to these types of females. Was there something that drew them to these types without realizing it? Did they have a mother/spep-mother who was like their ex-wives? Were they infatuated at the time of making the decision to marry them? Did they marry them (these females) because they felt they had to (unplanned child/children)? Were these females conniving in reeling them in?

    Your buddies can tell you their story. And it may be true from their perspective. But if you were the counselor in this situation, you would have to see beyond just the surface and into the more profound and unattractive.

    It appears to me, that perhaps it's not so much that you never, ever want to get married. It's that you're afraid to have happen to you what your friends have experienced.

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  • I feel as though those who are marriage material aren't looking for marriage. It is as though they are too smart to get involved in it. Why give up everything you worked for only to date someone who will take it all away with the snap of a finger. Finding someone suitable to date is hard enough :/ I cringe at the idea of even having children.

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  • I used to feel just like you...I'm now 27 and married to my first love. I never believed in love, or thought I would be married! We sometimes go through our young adulthood not knowing what we want. The good news is, you seem to know you don't want marriage. The fact is, It may not be for you. At 23 in college, I believe you have plenty time to get older and find someone. Your taste and views will change in time.

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  • Marriage is a legal contract to me. The whole contract is losing meaning...I see "marriage" as a spiritual union, that's why I hate it when people are against gay marriage, hello, marriage is a legal contract, which is a legal right.. nothing to do with god and religion. Again,why do we have to be legally bound to someone? I can see why it would be dying out, but I don't think love is...everything is just evolving...the reason people get married is evolving, and so is love.

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  • Well, of course you won't ever get married. You're closed minded and won't open your eyes to the women around you. There are PLENTY of decent people in the world. You haven't "looked everywhere", or else you would've found that out. You're not even old enough to have "looked everywhere" (whatever the f*** that even means).

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  • Not looking in te right places! I want to get married and have a family. I have hopes and dreams but I will put then all aside for the best of my husband and children. Loyalty is my most important attribute in myself and others. I grew up with disloyal people and it made me strive to be the opposite.

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    • I'm extremely loyal, too bad we live in a disloyal world.

  • well I'm a young lady and I would love to get married someday and spend my life devoted to one person! I agree though, it's commitment that people fail with...

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  • i am opposite..i am devastated due to what he is doing to me and children...

    i am for marriage, family and love. but, he is not...i don't want court or lawyers..but he if forcing me to go...so explain that...so he can have other women...explain that

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  • I don't want to get married either

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  • I think it is, I never want to get married

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  • I don't want to get married..

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What Guys Said 14

  • I agree with Aercz and htarmort14, marriage isn't dying out at least in my opinion. As for your "love is an illusion", I'd say that depends on what is thought of love in the first place. To me love is when your brain gets affected by different chemicals that alter your view of the world. And as such I know it's going to dissipate at some point. But that makes it real yet a thing that fades overtime.

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  • If marriage really is dying out statistics-wise, then I think the way to solve the "losing everything"

    problem with a prenup.

    The idea of me making a prenup is something that I will NOT budge on. If she wants to marry me, she must sign that document to give me ease of mind.

    Otherwise, there will be no isle-walking for me.

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  • Im right there with ya man. It seems like almost every dude I've encountered nowadays has gotten burned by women. Some are a**holes, but others are decent guys. It is dying out...be smart, don't get married.

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  • It's not dying out. It's just that you need to set your sights to the beyond.

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  • My aunt thought she would never marry. Even when she had a boyfriend she loved. She didn't like the idea of it, and that was that. She didn't feel she needed a contract. I do realize that she isn't male, so she doesn't have to worry about that divorce case issue, but she's been happily married for 3 ? years now. My point: you can consciously make the decision to not get married but change your mind. My other point: you don't need to get married. It's just a contract. Some people like the feeling of the contract, others just feel "that's just what you do", but what matters is what you want.

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  • Peoples' opinions of marriage are deteriorating in America and Europe, but that doesn't mean marriage as an institution is unimportant or even going extinct in these nations.

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  • Of course the idea of marriage will die if society thinks there is nothing wrong with extra-marital an pre-marital (physical) relationships. May God have mercy on us all.

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  • Divorce rates at 40%.. Ya no thanks I'd rater die alone then go through that kinda heart break. It made sense to marry when people only lived for 30 years but now you'd be stuck with the same person for 60+ years, if you love her stay with her have kids and love each other but you don't need to sigh a contract that makes you lose half your stuff when the love runs dry

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  • Marriage isn't really declining. Just bad marriages are.

    Back then years ago, getting divorce was heavily frowned on and seen as sinful, even if the two people were miserable with and unfit for each other.

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  • I have done an open announcement here still no one cared even to look, I myself am looking for marrige.

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  • For a man, marriage is nothing more than gambling half of everything you will ever own on the belief that you will be able to keep a woman convinced that being with you is better than any other alternative that may come up for the next 50 years.

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  • I would disagree with you on the alleged lack of good women. But I agree that marriage is dying out, because it's unfair to men (or, if the woman is far richer than the man, it's unfair to the woman). There's no reason for a guy to get married. I'd be happy to have a serious, committed, lifeong relationship with the right girl though.

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  • So long as she's willing to sign a pre-nup, I don't see the problem with marriage.

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  • I am all set with getting married. I am not gonna risk losing my heart, my bank account or my house when she gets "bored" and wants to "upgrade".

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