Do you believe that marriage calls for conformity?

Do you believe that marriage calls for conformity?

Meaning that you have to compromise/change a little to make it work.

Updates:
And does this make sense to you?


"Well, maybe people are afraid of commitment because we are constantly changing, and people change at different paces, and sometimes not at all. If we change, maybe the person we were once with, no longer suits us anymore."

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Agree with Aercz. When we say we love someone, we are saying we can be counted upon to regularly make sacrifices in the best interest of our spouse, if not our marriage. Our self-interest comes after our spouse and family. We are no longer motivated so much by our 'feelings' as our commitment to our partner and marriage relationship.

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What Guys Said 11

  • Marriage is a lifetime commitment and yes, it calls for conformity to make it work.

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  • Well, of course yes

    I think that's a common sense

    When you share your life with someone, you have to be able to make compromises, it applies to both parties at once not less.. or else the marriage will either fail or won't be happy

    @ Update

    Some people actually want a change - it makes things more interesting, some people hate the constant routine and that makes the marriage not to work for them - but in the end my point still remains the same, you need to compromise either way as you can't blame "changing" as a way how to justify your sudden mistreatment of your spouse, change doesn't need to be a bad thing

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  • Of course.

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  • Yes and no. You shouldn't be rushing into marriage, you should know what you're getting into with who you're getting into. If there are major faults in someone and you think that they will just change them because they love you and you can redeem them, you better think twice. Now not everyone is perfect, even if you're a good match, so there's always going to be compromising, working things out. The stubborn will end up with a very unhappy marriage or a divorce.

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  • You do need to compromise with your partner. Definitely! If it's all about you, then you're going to be all alone. Pretty simple... That said, I don't think of that as conformity. I think of that as caring about a person and doing what is in your power to make them happy because it makes you happy. Conformity is wearing a suit and tie, working in a cubical, and getting a Volvo lol

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  • Yes I do think it does require compromise

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  • Of course you do. The only time you don't have to compromise is when you're completely alone.

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  • Both people have to conform for one another

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  • I am not sure. I think it does call for a bit of compromise from both parties. If it is only one party that is making the changes than it is not fair.

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  • Yes. If you only think of yourself, eventually the relationship will take a turn for the worst.

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  • Of course marriage is a job full of compromise and change. It is a pact to be a team that can communicate and work together. The couple should be mature enough to handle a strong difference of opinion and personality. Being able to change and also keep one's sense of self is of most importance.

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What Girls Said 5

  • I think it takes compromise but not change, there's a difference. If it takes change to make marriage work, the relationship isn't working to begin with imo. A lot of people get into marriage with the expectation that their spouse will change into what they want once they get married, but that's a big problem since people don't change 95% of the time. If you're marrying someone, you should be happy with exactly the person they are, no change necessary. You also shouldn't have any conflicting life goals.

    However, one of the most important pieces of a marriage is compromise. The whole idea of marriage is you're becoming one unit rather than two separate individuals so any major decisions should always be made together. It's not just about you anymore so you have to consult with your spouse on a lot of things.

    And as for that quote, it makes me think of an article I read about how misleading that type of situation is. According to the article, most people who feel they have grown apart from their spouse over time were people who weren't heading in the same direction in the first place or maybe even never felt that strongly about each other. Those are the people who forced themselves or their partner to change for their marriage and it just didn't work. I think if you're happy together and you have the same goals, or at least compatible goals, that sort of thing probably won't happen.

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  • Of course you need to compromise, but no so much that it irritates you. If you really value something that you should compromise over, then consider the damage it might inflict. That compromise will build up frustration and you have a fight. It's good to compromise small things, but not the things you value the most.

    I agree with the update you posted. I've seen this happen with tons of couples. They marry someone they love and after 10-20 years, they have both changed and both want something else. Very few couples stay the same. Sharing experiences will change them, but that doesn't mean it will change them in the same way. They may end up wanting different things and then they either compromise more or they split up.

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  • Yes. On the little things you need to compromise. Now on things like morals and what not no. You shouldn't marry someone who has different morals and such than you, especially if you are going to have children, you'll just confuse the kid(s). And yes, that makes sense to me.

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  • Of course you have to adapt to have a relationship work, it doesn't mean you sacrifice yourself and just do everything the other person wants you to, relationships have to be give and take.

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  • Absolutely.

    No two people are exactly 100% the same. Therefore, they will have differences of opinions, they'll want to go to different places/events, they'll want to eat something different, watch something different, decorate the house differently, maybe one will want shrubs and the other won't, little daily differences like that. If someone isn't willing to compromise SOME, one or both of you will be unhappy. And more than likely, one will snap at some point.

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