So, I'm a pretty old fashioned, but I like it that way. I believe man is head of household and that I am to "obey" him. Now, I don't mean our marriage is run like in the olden days. He does not order me around, and we make all our decisions together. I just believe he is the ultimate bread winner, and that in the end he makes the final decision. Fortunately for us, we always agree on all big decisions. We have the same goals in life, same taste in life, and so on. We hardly differ, and hardly disagree when it comes to decision time. He respects my opinions, and we discuss things before he makes a final decision. I am also very submissive and he is very dominant. I love the fact that he is in charge. It makes me feel loved and that he has a strong desire to care for me and do what's best for our family. And let me tell you, I am still a strong, independent woman. If you were to ask him, he'd tell you I'm the most stubborn woman on this planet haha. When we disagree, I stand very firm and it's hard to budge me. But like I said, we never disagree on the big decisions. Anyways, I was told by another woman that I'm degrading myself, and I'm a shame to women's suffrage. In my beliefs, the woman is to obey the man. I'm a Christian, and in the Bible God tells women to submit to their husband's as the church does to Christ. I don't see how it's degrading since I still do what I want. But if it came down to it, and he really though a decision we disagreed on was best for us and our family, then yes, I would do it for him. It's what I believe, and it's what makes our marriage work. My question is, what do you other ladies think and do you really think I'm degrading myself? My husband is in the Army, and is currently deployed and when home, goes into the field a lot. There is no way I could possibly be weak and dependent in this lifestyle. And guys, is this too outdated and would you expect a girl to be more feminist about this issue?
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I don't think it is degrading. A marriage is about compromise and about doing things for your spouse and your spouse doing things for you. If you feel happy in your relationship and you and your husband get along well and you rarely differ on anything of importance the argument seems mostly academic or dogmatic.
I guess technically my church doctrine is the same, and technically my wife agrees with the principle, but in practice things are a whole lot different in my house. We are both oldest children, intelligent, and stubborn. Fortunately we figured out how to disagree agreeably in our first year of marriage. I would not describe my wife as submissive, but I would describe her as helpful and supportive. Sometimes when we disagree she gets her way, and sometimes I get my way, but ultimately it is a decision we make together and we try to work on it until we find something we can both agree on.
Marriage and relationships are supposed to be about happiness. There is no room to take inflexible symbolic stances on issues of ideology. It is no longer about being right if that comes at the expense of being right together and being happy. There is no room to make sure you get your way and your spouse knows you do things your way when you want. No, when you get married you cease to be 1 + 1, two separate but equal individuals, and you become just 1, one family trying to do things the best possible for everyone in the family. Yeah, that requires sacrifice from time to time, and we have to become a whole lot less selfish, but if the partnership is truly equal, everybody makes sacrifices for the benefit of the other and it's not just a one-sided thing.0