Do guys ever get scared of commitment if they really like a girl?

I like this guy but I think that he's really confused.Ive known this guy for over a year now and we've always been "friends" and basically told me he didn't want a girlfriend but he always brings up marriage to me and has even made jokes about us being married and he'll say things like he's done looking and he's already told his mom about me.When introduced to his friends they'll say things like"heard a lot about you."But he does hang out with a lot of women and he doesn't seem to want to commit.What does this mean?I really care about him and think that he needs help.Ive dealt with a lot of his crap in the past but deep down inside I think he means well but is just afraid of telling me how he feels.What do you GUYS think and what should I do?


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What Guys Said 1

  • Everybody gets scared of commitment, even when they really like the other person. Commitment indicates a serious life change. It means you are willing to quit looking and considering other women (or men if that is your case) as potential dating options. It means you have to accept the other person with all their faults as well as the things that make them attractive to you and you have to decide if you can accept exactly what they have to offer. For me, making the mental change to quit looking at other girls as possible dates and flirting targets had to be done intentionally and took me a bit of time to make it a reality even though I really loved my wife (then my girlfriend/fiancee). Because I knew once the choice was made there were no "just kidding, I am not really ready" or "I want to reconsider" options without causing a lot of pain it was very scary.

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    • Well I'm fairly young,Im in my early twenties and he's going to be 29 this year so he's a little older than me but he seems like he still wants to date around and party.He said he really likes me a lot but doesn't want a relationship right now.But every now and then when we talk he will bring up the topic of marriage and will make small comments about us being together long term.He never wants to dicuss it fully though.I don't know if he's serious or playing games with me?What do you think?

    • He sounds like a commitment-phobe. I don't think he is necessarily playing games, but it doesn't sound like he is yet ready to quit playing the field. It might be a good time to have a DTR (define the relationship) talk to find out exactly what he wants from the relationship and what you want from the relationship. Yeah, DTRs can be uncomfortable, but sometimes they are necessary.

What Girls Said 0

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