I have a friend who's husband a few years ago talked her into letting him watch her be with other men, and also letting her watch him be with other women, to try to spice up their marriage. He seems to like it, but it's really kinda messed up my friend. The rules were that it could only be with people they both approved, and only in each others' viewing. Nothing behind each others' back. But the husband isn't intimate with her except occasionally just to do his thing and be done, no "lovemaking" about it, and my friend is struggling with seeking other men not necessarily prearranged just to fill the emotional emptiness she feels. It seems to me that you can't contain something like that arrangement without it eventually turning outside the marriage to other people anyway. Now she's struggling even to keep her marriage together.
Would any of you agree to this kind of thing? And what can my friend do about her husband? They have two babies also.
Most Helpful Girl
Some people can have this type of arrangement and have it work for them. I feel like these type of people are lacking something emotionally, or are unable to completely 'give themselves' to and truly love another individual. If my fiance wanted to sleep with other women, I would feel unloved, unsexy, and like I wasn't good enough. If he wanted to watch other men sleep with me, I would feel like that meant he didn't value me. We don't give away things that we love and value. I say she messed up, agreeing to this. It will probably be the demise of their relationship, which apparently wasn't that great to begin with if he was asking for this type of play.2