Guys Who Want To Wait Until Marriage For Sex

Most of the dudes that I've known have considered me strange, behind-the-times, or even a closet homosexual because I've always wanted to wait until I've put a ring on a woman's hand before I make love to her (of any kind). I'm 21 and am still waiting for the right Mrs. What do the girls on here think of this, and how would they react if their prospective boyfriends said that they were set on waiting?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • This is YOUR decision and your viginity is special and important. This is going to be attractive to girls who really believe virginity is a big deal and especially attractive to girls who are saving themselves as well. Personally, I think losing your virginity should be special but my mother told me that sex is an important part of marriage and that sexual incompatibility can kill a marriage (therefore: if you really care about someone have sex with them before you get married). I had a very special loss of my virginity to another virgin (who after 4 years I broke up with), am very selective about partners, and feel 100% good about that. I want someone who is similar and would be uncomfortable dating someone who wanted to wait.

    That being said there is nothing wrong with you for making the other decision and I am NOT every other woman, you just have to realize that 3% of Americans wait successfully till after their wedding to lose their virginity. While that sounds depressing that means that there are 10 million people who are doing the same thing and are probably MUCH MORE like you than the people who don't. Also, good news for you, according to the same site 60% of the people that wait are women.

    Some girls unfortunately harbor regrets about how they lost their virginities and may feel like you'll look down on them so they'll lash out, others like me will actively desire someone who knows themselves and others sexually. Just rememember you are a rarity and there are many women who would love to hear this so don't let people who chose differently disrespect you. (Also, other dudes should have no say in this, the idea you have to have sex to be a man is silly)

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    • Very true about sexual incompatibility. It wouldn't be a frequent topic for me, but I would certainly find out what she would like out of the marriage in that area, as well as what I would. One can glean a lot about a prospective lover's amorous side just by observing what type of person he / she is.

      I get attached to people too easily, so I wouldn't want to more than once. That's why I've chosen to wait until I've found someone who is "keeper" material.

    • I would say...you don't know till you're there. I'm from a very religious state and know a few people who waited till marriage. One pair is, as far as I know, happy. The second has broken down, the wife has a much higher sex drive than the husband (she thinks she would like daily sex, he's more of a weekly or monthly guy) and isn't satisfied. In the the third couple it turns out the man can't figure out how to give the woman an orgasm and sex has become awkward and difficult so they avoid it.

What Girls Said 25

  • Oh, I think most girls would find that very romantic actually. If my boyfriend said this to me and I really love him, I'd definitely see it as something positive. Besides virginity is as much special to girls as it is to guys, so if this is part of your beliefs and makes you feel good/right about yourself I don't think it's any kind of problem. But beware of girl sluts who may not wait and f*** someone else in between times...You respect yourself to give yourself what you want when you want to, don't let anyone tell you otherwise unless you changed your mind about it!

    P.S.:Twilight - I don't like that movie but it seems that it's really successful around girls because the shining dude "vampire" isn't able to sleep with the girl.

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    • That series is a raging estrogen fest. lol.

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    • Perhaps girls like Twilight not for the fact that the guy can't sleep with the girl, but maybe for the fact that the guy is a mysterious vampire.

    • I think probably both, but I wouldn't know, I haven't watched all the movies, I haven't read the books, I don't judge people who did, but it's boring and dull to me. I don't wanna offend most of the chicks but it is my perspective of the matter.

  • I'd marry him. I'm waiting too. I won't date a guy who's not waiting.

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  • I wouldn't mind because I'm like that too, and I think that a lot of girls would be relieved to hear that, even if they don't care to wait until marriage. That would make them realize that the guy wants them for them and not to just have sex

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  • That would actually be very refreshing to hear, and I think if that's your decision don't let anyone try to change your mind or tell you you're missing out. It's nice to know there are guys that would like to wait, you'll make some girl really happy.

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  • I think its great when ever someone sticks to their beliefs and practice what they preach. I hate those hypocritical guys that want a virgin to marry, but have slept with over 30 women themselves.

    I'm sexually active, so dating a celibate guy wouldn't work for me. But I'm sure another celibate woman would greatly appreciate that quality in a man.

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  • It'd be a total relief for me. I'm waiting too. :)

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  • I think you're an amazing guy for sticking to your commitment, especially at an age where most people are no longer virgins.

    I'm also saving myself for marriage, so it's super awesome to see a guy making the same promise :)

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  • I think its an amazing thing. Sex is a very special thing, not supposed to be treated lightly.

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  • I totally respect your choice, but if I were to find out a prospective partner felt this way, I'd end it.

    In my experience, sexual compatibility isn't something you can predict. Furthermore, I don't underestimate the importance of a healthy sex life. I'd want to make sure me and my partner were completely sexually compatible before I even considered marriage.

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  • It's an interesting concept. However, I can honestly say that would be a turn off for me. I used to want to wait until marriage as well but I decided to wait until college with the right guy (which I did lose my virginity to; my current boyfriend). I really respect people guys & girls alike who want to wait until marriage but I can honestly say that when you are in love, making love/sex comes into play naturally. It's just something that comes with the relationship. You will have to find a patient girl who has the same views as you if you are willing to commit to waiting until marriage. Good luck.

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  • I don't think waiting for marriage will be a guaranty that you will remain in love ...if the sex part ends up being bad,u would be stuck like many other people on here that are married and wondering why they are not compatible sexually

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  • Honestly, you have just become 10x more attractive to me. I think its incredibly romantic and shows great strength to wait for marriage. Ideally I want my husband to have the same morals and values as I. I'm waiting for marriage, and I don't see anything wrong with that. I get a lot of remarks from both genders about my belief to wait, but I know it will be worth it when I marry my husband(:

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  • I would love it in the condition that I knew I was his right one...

    I would love my boyfriend and I to still be virgins and to keep for one another but..it's not the case. We are waiting for the right moment to do it though.

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  • I think this is just lovely, honey. :) I was hoping there would still be guys like you. And with this post right here, well, was worth all the hope I had after all. :) Keep it up. :)

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  • That's great that you're waiting.

    I'd like a guy who has at least some sexual experience. And I worry about sexual compatibility. So, I need that to be figured out before committing to that person.

    If a guy were to tell me that, I wouldn't waste time dismissing him. Because that's not what I'm looking for and I'm sure he would want a virgin.

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  • I think I'd consider it cute and you as someone trustworthy, which is definitely a good thing!

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  • It's not particularly important to me but I'd prefer to be married before having sex. But I don't know what you mean by making love of any kind. It depends on what you mean by that if I'd be able to withstand it.

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  • i tried to hold out but gave in at 20 years old, I have not done it since, shame on me I know.. I would completely respect you though! That's wonderful that you're waiting.

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  • I think that's super cool and the right girl will appreciate you for the decisions you've made

    and whoever this girl is

    she must be alucky girl because not a lot of guys wait and I'm sure any girl would appreciate that in a guy

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  • It's good to have a relationship that isn't based on sex. I've always wanted to wait as well. I'm eighteen and a lot of people are surprised to hear it. I had a boyfriend once who felt the same way and we had a very good time together without any sexual tension. Just find a woman who feels as you do and I think you'll be just fine.

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  • I don't think this weird, I personally know many people who have made this decision and I am one of them. I believe that it's a worthy quality for a man to have. It tells the girl that your not in it just for sex. I do think that you could always do other sexual things though because I know most girls want to feel wanted. And if you don't even try other things then she may feel like your not into her enough to pay that kinda attention to her and that could cause relationship problems.

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  • Good for you. I like and appreciate your decision.

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  • Faith in guys restored !

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  • i would personally respect such a guy because to me many guys can't wait to have sex before marriage.

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  • I wish I would've waited sometimes.

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What Guys Said 9

  • I am waiting until marriage myself. Here's how I look at it: I know I'm the kind of guy that most girls want, but can't seem to find. I know what I have to offer, but I also know what I value: my sexuality. By extension, I value the girl's sexuality as well. I want to be able to give her everything that I am and her to receive and vice versa. People say that sex is important, but I think they place almost too much importance on it. Personally, I don't buy into this notion of "sexual compatibility" at all.

    You're doing the right thing. I've written a couple of articles about sex. Here they are... link and link (they may or may not have turned the URLs into hyperlinks).

    I hope those help. If you have any other questions or comments, I'm around :-)

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  • Here is how I look at it man. The societal norm today is to have lots of sex whether that's in a relationship, dating, or just hook ups. Being a virgin is looked down upon because you're automatically labeled as a religious extremist or undesirable/unattractive/unwanted, or something is wrong with you. Well, f*** society I say. Across the board, the worlds most successful people are those who lived their lives by THEIR own rules and didn't give any weight to the thoughts, opinions, and prejudices of society and others. Living and being your authentic self is critical for happiness and success. For you, part of that is waiting until marriage for sex. For that I commend you man, a very respectful and honorable thing. I'm waiting for the right girl; may not necessarily be the one I marry but the one I truly feel is the right one to share my first time with. Sex/virginity is something that should be cherished, not something thrown around unemotionally without regard as many people operate. I know many older people that to this day, they regret the day they lost their virginity, what a shame. You only lose your virginity once, to throw it away means you'll have to live with that for the rest of your life. So keep to your beliefs and don't mind the haters. It will be hard, your mental state will tell you to wait but your biological state is going to want sex haha, but stick with it man, and again, don't listen to the haters!

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  • You're not the only one. I'm that way too, because I come from a religious (Buddhist) and traditional place. If everyone thought like that, then there wouldn't be so many teenage pregnancies (teenagers aren't as good at taking care of responsibilities as older people are), and people that got together would be concerned less with how hot the significant other is, and more with how good the personality/character of a significant other is. So don't worry, you're not weird or homosexual.

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  • I am in the same boat as you.. Been called closeted forever because of it.. I worry that it'll hurt my chances of meeting ms. right if everyone says I am..

    Keep on keepin' on and I hope you can get what you want and that I do too :P

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  • i'mnot like that but I'm waiting till I visit a foreign country to loose my virginity. with all the sh*t I keep reading about how American women will rape you fiancially if you get her pregneant and she has your kid,i no longer feel having sex in America is worth the pregneancy risk regardless of how small the risk is. I'm not gay nor will I wait till marrage to have sex. I'm just gonna do so in another country as stats say that foreign women won't take all your money if you impregnate them.they will help you take care of the baby regardless of how hard it is to do so.

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  • Who cares what they think...it's not their problem and it doesn't concern them nor affect them in any way, shape, or form. I know some guys who won't have sex til they're in a truly committed and serious relationship so I understand where you're coming from.

    Oh and more power and respect to you buddy! It takes a lot of willpower to hold out til marriage! We both know guys are, in general, horny animals most of the time and I probably can't hold it til marriage if I'm in a committed/loving relationship to say the least. It makes you unique and even better to the rest of the guys when girls know that your intentions are to not sleep with them right away!

    I think most girls would appreciate it but the real question: can the lady keep it in her pants?!? :P I'm sure if you two are truly and madly in love and hold it for long enough...it'll explode into a night you two will never forget... ;)

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    • Yep: the night I pull off that wedding dress, all the neighbors are gonna think a bomb went off! :D

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    • just pray the bomb doesn't have a premature detonation XD

    • Nah. It's turned off, boxed up, and locked away in a submarine somewhere off of the coast of Antarctica. :D But on that night:

      "Gentlemen, you have your target...release the nuke." XD

  • I can respect people like that. How about just waiting for a relationship for sex and not just going around hooking up, even though I m guilty of it myself but not often. Sex is better in a relationship with someone you love and care for anyhow.

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  • Three words: You are awesome.

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  • I wouldn't necessarily wait until marriage but I'd have to know there is a good chance of me having a future with them

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