How do you feel about living with a significant other before marriage?

Is it a necessary step or something you shouldn't do?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It's not a necessary step, but it does serve a very practical purpose. Two people could have the best relationship in the world, but when people say that you don't really get to know someone until you occupy the same space, it really is true. Though my faith somewhat frowns upon the concept, I believe it allows a couple to get experience living in the same space and become acclimated to each other's lifestyles and habits. And if there are any problems/issues to be solved regarding those things, that stuff can be worked out before things are made official with a marriage.

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What Guys Said 2

  • I don't think it's a necessary step. But with that being said, YOU HAVE TO REALLY KNOW THE GUY. You both have to both be more then willing to compromise, and put the other person first in everything. You both have to be willing to change, and give up things, or do things differently. One of the main reasons people fight when they move in, is because they're not used to doing things different. And if you hold onto your ways and be stubborn, then it won't work. But if you both have the right attitudes, then no, you don't need to live with someone before you're married.

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  • No it's not a necessary step but it could be a major eye opener. At times it's the little habits that one person has that can send another over the edge; tidyness of your space, personal hygiene, leisure habits, farting in bed, etc. are all things that can turn a loving relationship into a raging battle. How much do you know about this stuff?

    As well, have you had the talk about kids, finances, amount of sex, spirituality, leisure time, travel, home ownership, etc? All the biggies that can end a relationship. I'm not an Oprah fan but she has a list of 20 questions to answer before marriage that everyone considering marriage should have to answer together. I suggest you google it and sit down with your guy and answer them. You will learn a lot about where you both stand on issues that are the cause of marriage failure.

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What Girls Said 2

  • I advocate it, mainly because I've seen two friends get married and end in divorce soon after once they realized that living with that person was much different than being with them and going home later.

    Personally, I couldn't marry someone until I had lived with them long enough to make sure that we were compatible and worked well together in that situation. Me and my guy have lived together almost 5 years now, and thankfully, never had any problems. But it has taught us many valuable lessons, which we won't have to learn after we do get married later on. We've learned how to live with each other, how to compromise, how we would balance money, make large decisions together, etc.

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  • I don't advise it.

    The more you're around each other, the more prone to fighting you are.

    And there's nothing forcing you guys to make it work because you're not married.

    So I would definitely wait because I've seen it happen more than once.

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