I just found out via Facebook that my best friend since kindergarten is engaged. I didn't even know she had a boyfriend! I've never met the guy!
Am I selfish in thinking that, since we're best friends, I have the right to be told? She's been dating him for three months and engaged for two weeks and I only JUST found out. On Facebook!
More than that, the wedding's scheduled on THE DAY I leave the country for a while so I can't be there for her and she won't be there for me.
This year we went to separate colleges, so of course we see less of each other but we're not so far apart I wouldn't tell her anything so important.
I'm trying to feel happy for her and supportive, but do I have the right to be angry? What do I do? I don't want to cause drama for something so special to her, but at the same time...?
Most Helpful Girl
I perfectly understand your reaction.If she's someone to whom you'd come, had you anything big happening to you, it might be upsetting to realize she wouldn't do the same.
There could be various reasons for this though. Maybe she thinks it's still too early to announce it to you.Maybe she doesn't want to look like those self absorbed girl who keep talking about themselves and how wonderful their life is. Maybe she doesn't want to burden you with this. Or maybe she's just the private type of person.
Now I don't think it's worth it to be angry at someone for this and cause drama. Next time you see her, casually congratulate her, tell her you saw this on Facebook and maybe jokingly ask her when she was planning to inform you.
This being said, and seeing that you're 19, you'll come to realize that friendship to adults is rather different than what friendship entails when you're younger. Especially when it comes down to people's romantic and private life. People just don't tell everything they "plan" to do. They'd rather wait when things become official and announce it (whether it be a new job, a wedding or a baby). What I mean is that most people don't feel the need to have everyone (friends, good friends..) involved in the process or knowing about what they're going to do.0