My husband has an online affair

I found out that my husband has been emailing letters to a girl in Russian. She sent him her photos and wrote love letters to him in which she said she feels in love with him, even though they have been talking for just two weeks. At first my husband was innocent because he did not care to delete her emails and the emails he sent to her, but now he seems to get into it. He types really gently when he answers her, hoping that I do not hear his typing. He deleted everything after he answered her back. I know about this because we use autofill for our emails. I did not do anything yet. Today she wrote him a real love letter, saying that she feels that they are getting closer, and she think the day they will meet in person will happen soon, that she never wants to lose him. I do not know what to do. I think he must have written something sensationally to her too and that must be why she is in hope like that. We have been married for four years and my marriage is good. Please tell me what I should do. Thank you so much.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Between Russia and the US, there is enough distance: she will not send an ICBM (inter continental ballistic missile), nor will he.

    Don't worry about what is essentially a game he's playing: if he chose to correspond with someone living that far, he must know that his chances of meeting her IRL are ZILCH.

    Internet is full of Russian, African and Philippine women trying to get married with a Westerner, just to get out of their countries' miserable situation, and mailing at email addresses found at forums or through Google. I received different mails of that kind too, some with very revealing pictures. ;-)

    If he choose to go along once or twice, just out of curiosity, to see how far she 'd go it's something without consequences.

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    • That was what I thought. At first I though well let him go with it. I though it would end soon but now I hate to think that he is writing fliting letters to some girl. What did he write to him that encourages her to say what she said? He told her he is married and she still says those things like she is talking to a single. If he knows what you know about them, he must have quitted. She tries to use him or anyone as a passport. But he thinks he is special and she does feel in love with him.

What Guys Said 2

  • NEVER forget this: on Internet nobody knows you're a dog. link

    He maybe received pictures from her, but whose pictures? she might have a mustache, be heavier than a small car and mail him pictures from any blonde found on a XXX-site.

    It's part of the game.

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  • I wouldn't worry its most likely a girl looking to get to the states and the letters aren't even written by her but by the mail-order service 2nd its most likely harm less flirting ,something new to talk to. I've been married 17 years and its fun to flirt some times.

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    • It maybe harmless if your partner does not know about it. It was ok for me at the beginning, but I do not like when it goes this far. Thanks

What Girls Said 3

  • Obviously your marriage is not as good as you think it is. If it were me I would tell him right out that I know what he's been up to and tell him that he had better end it if he wants our relationship to last. If he refuses than I would not be happy and I would tell him that it looks like our marriage is over. If he feels a need to stray then there is something he thinks that he gets from this girl that he doesn't get from you. Whatever his reasons are it is vital you talk to him about it.

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  • I suggest confronting him about it. not in an angry way, just ask why he feels the need to seek out the love and affection of other woman. maybe he might not feel as emotionally connected to you as he used to be (not necessarily your fault people just change over time). the best course of action is to talk about it though without yelling or anger.

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  • You need to talk about it. Even if he has never met her, he cheated on you. There is such a thing as emotional cheating and this is what he has done.

    link

    Check this out.

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