The question itself is simple, but I will add my personal reasons for fearing the institution we refer to as "marriage".
First and foremost, I do NOT fear commitment, in fact I crave it. I want a life partner and I want the love and security of always having someone to come home to. In spite of that, the prospect of marriage terrifies me.
Marriage is, in the modern world, inherently misandrist. That is to say, it discriminates against men. How? The laws that govern marriage often swing in the woman's favor, particularly when it comes to ending a marriage. The law will, more often than not, grant a woman a significant portion of man's wealth and assets should a marriage be terminated almost arbitrarily. There is no stipulation that she should earn it. There is no stipulation that the divorce should be his fault. There are virtually no stipulations at all. A woman can, and in fact some do, marry a man for his money and divorce him to run off with it.
Children only add insult to injury, where a family court is much more likely to award custody to the mother, creating more weekend dads who are still obligated to pay child support, on top of whatever alimony the civil court has already slapped on the ex-husband's shoulders. That effectively means a woman can run off with your children and live with them like a queen on your dime. Not a very pleasing prospect. There is yet another disadvantage to having a penis in a marriage relationship. A woman can marry one man, have an affair with another and get pregnant, and then have her husband raise a child that isn't even his without his knowledge. In fact, even if a man does discover that the children he has been raising are in fact not his, and wants a divorce, he is STILL obligated to pay child support for children that are not even related to him by blood. This is true even if the "father" wishes to relinquish all of his parental and custodial rights. This phenomena actually happens so often that there is a name for it, paternity fraud. Never mind how hard a marriage can hit your wallet. The emotional and mental trauma that a woman can inflict upon a man via the marital system is absolutely atrocious, and to top it off the law will actually aid her in that endeavor.
So given all of this, my fellow males, ask yourself this question. Are you afraid of marriage?
Ladies, feel free to contribute as well, but keep the conversation civil. Uncivil responders will be banned.
- Yes21% (13)33% (26)27% (39)Vote
- No35% (22)51% (40)44% (62)Vote
- Jury's still out44% (28)16% (13)29% (41)Vote
Most Helpful Guy
I'm afraid of marriage, because I don't want to end up like my father, or my father's friends, the guys I see. That's not a fate I'm doomed for, and I plan to not marry.
And curiously, many fellows are joining me. link Among men ages 30-50, 27% of men say they don't want to marry, compared to 8% of women. Given that we've had no serious wars wiping out massive amounts of men, and the gender ratio in the USA is close to 50/50, that turns into a ton of women who won't find mates. Basically, for every group of 100 men to 100 women ages 30-50:
63 men are open to getting married, vs 92 women. Just looking at that--that means that, as marriage is usually a far higher priority for women compared to men--there's massive problems for women, both now, and if current rates hold up, it will be even worse for women in 10 more years.
Even more curiously, the age of first marriage for men has kept climbing, and it's at what, 28, 29, now? As it moves up more, statistics suggest the amount of never married men who don't wish to marry will plummet.
And worse problem for women is--the guys who are the least desired are usually the most willing to commit. Simple, right? The hot stud who can get a different hot woman every night at the bar doesn't want to be locked down, right? While the shy guy/nerds/losers are more desperate, much less cocky, much more willing to commit to a girl?
That boils down that logically, with a statistically significant amount of adult men not wishing to marry, the majority of those men are probably the type women would MOST desire, taking the cream of the crop out of the marriage market.4