Why do people get married young?

I've had multiple friends get married/engaged in the last year. The oldest one is 22 years old and they are all still in college. The most alarming thing is that they have only been together with the guy for a few months. I know two that got engaged at 5 months and one at 2.5 months. Why not wait until you are done with college? Or at least until you hit a year with someone?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm having the same experience with most of my friends. I am 23, and most of my friends already have 3 kids, and are common law or married. It's pretty crazy, I am the only person in my group who has an actual career.

    Having a family is not bad, and I sometimes wish I had that too, but it's not my time yet. There are so many things I want to do, and if I had a family young, I know I wouldn't be having these things yet. Plus, there are a lot of things my friends wish they could do, but can't because they are settled down with a family.

    Most of my friends had babies in high school, so they had to grow up fast. I can kind of see why they are where they are now. They have established themselves to provide for their kids, and had to sacrifice what they wanted a long the way.

    Now some of my other friends are just rushing because they want to seem grown up. I worry for some of my friends who rushed into things because they wanted the "wifey" label.

    I have friends who are barely able to provide for themselves but they want to get married. I guess some people get swept up in the whole fairy tale of it all. A lot of people put pressure on young people. I get asked all the time if I am married, or when I am getting married. It's like people look down on me for not being married. I'm turning 24 in the summer, but still. I'm not that old, and I want to get married someday, but I definitely don't want to rush it!

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    • That's good. I don't look down on you. I don't think you have to marry by 24.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 10

  • In short, because nobody wants to end up alone.

    In some areas, you are an old maid if you're 20 and still single. Sometimes girls take the first guy that proposes thinking nobody else will want them. Or they're religious and don't want to wait too long. They think they are ready. And the media plays a big role. You go the college, then you get married and then you have children. We get sold on this fairy tale life that doesn't always match reality.

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    • I agree with you answer, except I think religious people emphasize waiting longer for marriage.

    • Depends... the fastest marriages around here are those out of the two extreme churches in town... 6 months of dating at 19 and then they get married. In this town, I'm old. It's a bit crazy, a friend of mine, he's barely 19 just got married. First he was talking about dropping out and now he's married.

  • Because the majority of people who are young think irrationally. The brain is not fully devlope until te age of 25. Plus the media probably has something to do with people feeling that they need to get married, that is cool. Is marriage cool? of course, but it is a life long commitment that is going to have some downfalls. The media creates these fake lives and movies about love but they are not showing the reality. People give into that, want their perfect love life/marriage shindig and I they get bored of the person, ts quite easy to get a divorce. I am sure as hell not going to get married until I'm in my late 20s or if I have found a man who my parents approve of and been with that person for at least a year.

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  • Why? Temporary insanity!

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  • Some people might do it because they are religious and are saving sex for marriage. I'm not all for young marriage but I believe that it can work as long as both are committed, mature, and know that they will be their LIFE partner.

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  • Stupidity?

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  • If you look at the older generations though, you'll notice that many of them married young. For example, my parents were married at age 20.

    The only people I really see doing that today, however, are the kids that come from super-religious & conservative or traditional households.

    ...hell, I've been with my guy for over three years and no ring in sight! ;) Probably never getting one hahaha. But I agree, wait until you've been with someone for a while. I will never understand why a person would propose to another after only having known them for two or three months.

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  • You should only get married if you both have a full time job with benefits. So you can support yourselves. What if you get divorced and you don't have money to live on your own? I'm 30 and my boyfriend is 28 and we don't have full time jobs yet. Till we do, we'll get married.

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    • I completely agree with you. I want to wait until I've graduated college and have a steady income before I jump into marriage. I'm just thinking that if you love the person you don't have to get married immediately. Being married doesn't make you love the other person anymore (as far as I know) and it isn't going to make people that aren't right for each other suddenly have a connection

    • Exactly! I also remember being at a bar and this guy (40's) asked me why I'm not married yet and I told him this. But he said, "My ex-wife had a part time job when we got married and she still did when we were still married." Well maybe at the time the guy had made a lot of money or she had kids to stay home with. But now he's divorced and his ex-wife is screwed. Unless she got a full time job now.

  • There's a lot of pressure on people to get married, especially women. Some people think if they don't get married by a certain age, they're losers with nothing to show for their lives. My parents just went to a wedding, that couple got engaged after being together less than a year. People need to slow down and stop rushing. I'm not ashamed at all that I'm not married. But there are plenty of people that TRY to shame me. It's rather ridiculous.

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  • So the title question is misleading. What you're really asking is why do people get married to someone they've known for less than a year? Which is a bad idea at any age.

    I don't think getting married at 22 is that young. You make it seem like they're getting married at 16.

    To answer your question some people want to take their relationship to the next level. Some people are ready for a family.

    Waiting until 40 to get married isn't for everyone.

    I don't see what the big deal is.

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    • The question title is not misleading. And titles can be changed for emphasis or to get more people to answer. People do get married young. He said that 22 years old was the oldest age of the young people that he knew who married.

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    • Well I believe that getting married while you are still in college is too young. (unless you are there beyond 24). I'm just saying why not wait until you graduate and have a good income.

    • Okay well don't get married if you are still in college, but stop being judgmental towards those who do.

  • i started college last yr. I'm engaged. he proposed on our one month anniversary. which was 6 days ago. I know it seems crazy. but it feels right. we're aren't getting married til I finish school though.

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    • I don't mean to offend you if I do but I think that is crazy. There is no rush to get engaged. Being engaged shouldn't make someone love you anymore and it won't make them anymore faithful. I'm more saying that getting married before you graduate is kind of ridiculous

What Guys Said 4

  • Most people who marry young rush into marriage. It is better to wait until you finish college, so that you can be assured of financial stability and a good paying job. Knowing someone for a few months isn't even long enough. You need at least a year to get to know someone as much as possible. If you wait a few years before marriage, then the fact that you have been together so long is a good indicator that the marriage won't end up in divorce, whereas if you marry young and too soon, divorce can happen very quickly if you find out you have married the wrong person.

    If you get married too soon and too fast, you can only divorce. You can't break up. That's why you need to be together for at least a year to ensure that all chances of breaking up will be minimized.

    I think marriage doesn't have much to do with the media. People marry for love or some other reason, not because they think the media says it's so great. Divorce and breaking up also get attention from the media.

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  • This is one thing that annoys me about this topic because people act as if there is a set time you need to be with someone in order to be able to marry. I disagree completely that there's a "certain time" a person needs to wait to be able to marry.

    Just because someone waited 2.5 months to marry doesn't mean it is wrong afterall, there is no "set time". You have people who have been with someone for years and they believe they are still not ready for marriage. What you need to understand from this is that that's them.

    Really, if you're concerned about them marrying, I think you should stop looking at it from a time perspective and rather analysing specific couples' relationships who are marrying. Remember that there is no "set time" for being able to marry someone.

    And no, I'm not necessarily agreeing with the idea that 2.5 months is a good time after meeting your partner to marry but I am trying to make you realize that one size doesn't fit all. Not accepting this would just mean you are being prejudice towards these young couples who wait a supposed "short" period before deciding to marry.

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    • I'm just saying that I don't believe you can truly know someone in 2 months. And why not wait. There shouldn't be any rush. Why not wait until you graduate? I couldn't imagine myself proposing to a girl in 2-5 months of going out with them.

    • And I'm trying to say that to many young couples, they don't believe they're rushing and that they feel they have gotten to know each other enough to consider marriage. And as I said before, one might wait decades before deciding to marry. I question why this whole idea of "truly" knowing ssomeone really is.

  • the religious people are thinking, "Me want sex, Me want sex now!". the people that get married young other than that, well it could be for a few reasons.

    1: They just found out the girl is pregnant and doesn't want an abortion and the guy feels obligated to stabilize the life by poppin the question.

    2: They love the sex so much when the relationship is starting out and they think it will always be like that and don't want to lose it, so...engaged.

    3: They just confuse infatuation with love and get engaged based on that confusion. same as 2 pretty much.

    4: Stupidity?!

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  • People generations ago married young, most before they were 20...but not dating for even a year yet? That is absurd!

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