Marriage Frustrates me and I don't know what to do!

Why does everyone rush into marriage now days? I've been with my girlfriend for almost 3 years now but ever since about our first year she's been asking when she's getting that ring.it's getting worse now because all of her close friends who have been dating say maybe a year are getting engaged. My question is why in the world can't people just wait, why not enjoy what you have without adding the stress of marriage. In my position especially it just doesn't make sense to me, I'm 21 years old and still in college. Someone PLEASE tell me why everyone is so obsessed with getting married like its not the next 60 - 80 years of your life. I am extremely frustrated! and I don't know what to do, I don't feel ready to get married yet I feel extraordinary amounts of pressure to do so! FML


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Most Helpful Girl

  • date someone else. you guys want different things. you shouldve broke up the first year because obviously she wasn't going to stop wanting to get married and it isn't right of you to try to change hr view.

    these people are not wrong. they look forward to getting marred and beginning the next 60 to 80 years of their lives together.

    you are not wrong for not wanting to rush into it or not wanting to do it at all.

    its wrong for a person who wants marriage and for one who does not to be together, unless either ofu is genuinely OK with forgoing your own desires for the relationship. you're not. she's not. breakup.

    i am smilar to your thinking, so id never be with someone who actually TOLD me in no uncertain terms they absolutely want to marry and soon.

    thinking its crazy isn't going to stop people from wanting to mary and you're not going to bend them to your will no matter how frustrated you are

    get out and find someone who isn't in a wish or doesn't want it at all. OR stay but stop complaining. you may be frustrated but logically you have no right to complain that someone wants to marry you because you are not obligated to marry anyone. with anyone.

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    • I Appreciate the honesty, and I agree I really have no right to judge people who want to be married. its just in my opinion I don't understand why someone would want to put the stress of marriage on such a young relationship. However, I do see where you are coming from, thanks

What Girls Said 8

  • Yea I hear ya. I am 23 and most of my friends have multiple kids and/or are already married.

    I can kind of understand her frustration, she's probably feeling pressure from friends and family now that some of her friends have walked down the aisle. But she should understand that you two are still young. 21 is young for a marriage. I can certainly see why you want to wait, you are still in college, and a wedding is not something you can afford right now.

    I would talk to her. Let her know that you love her and that you do want to get married someday, but you want to wait until you are done school before you take that step.

    Perhaps if she can't be patient, then you need to rethink the relationship. Obviously she wants to get married right now, and you want to wait. If she can't be understanding towards that, then you need to end the relationship.

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  • You're still young. I'm 21 and I'm not ready lol. Tell her what's going on and if she truly loves you she will understand. You'll change your mind about marriage later on in life. You guys are still in college and haven't even started your careers yet. Tell her to wait .. As for her friends.. They need to mind their own business.

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  • I agree with you. I don't want marriage either. I don't know any really happily married couples! There are ones that pretend to be but I can tell. It's usually the means to an end in my experience.

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  • 21? That's really young for some, but for others it could be the right time. I think marriage depends on the couple's relationship and maturity. If you're not ready, don't be pressured into it. A lot of my friends aren't even 20 yet, and they're getting engaged. I've been with my boyfriend a year and I plan on not getting married for at least 3 more years.

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  • 21? That's crazy

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  • Haha I don't want to get married at all (y)

    F*** marriage

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    • I never wanna get married either. My refusal to bear children always makes breakups likely. In my area, civil ceremonies are only $28. Pretty cheap, so why don't I want it? Simple. If it doesn't work out, divorce will cost hundreds, possibly thousands, that I will NEVER have.

    • I just don't think marriage proves love

  • tell her you want to get married but you wanna finish school before you even wanna think about it and if anyone else mentions it tell them the same. that's alittle harder to do if you're living together though...

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  • Tell her that.

    I've been with my boyfriend for six years. And there's nooooo way I'm ready to get married. He's not either. All our friends are getting hitched also and he's feeling the pressure too, but I'm not applying it to him. I'm just there telling him to chill out. Yes, I would like to get married some day and yes, I would like to marry him. But not now. I'm 20 years old now. So is he. We're not at the time in our lives where it'd be a good move.

    We've been together for six years and function together as a good couple. We are very mature for our age and by all accounts are way more mature and function way better as a couple than my friends who are getting married. If we got married, I know we'd rock at it. But I don't want to get married for at least another four-seven years. If seven years roll around and we're still dating, I might start asking about a ring :p

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What Guys Said 7

  • I don't think everyone is so obsessed with marriage. I mean really look around and count the number of people your age who are married... I remember right after college it seemed like all my friends were getting married but when I stepped back and really looked I realized my view wasn't all that accurate.

    As for your girlfriend I would just explain exactly how you feel. How you don't feel ready or any need for marriage. I agree at 21 and especially in college marriage is probably not something you need to be considering. There is still so much to experience and so many major changes that will happen in your life. Hopefully she will understand reason

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  • Bro, don't give a fcuking sh*t about it. Live your life the way you want. Women are obsessed with marriage, it's what they truly want. Men are just following the trend like sheep because "It's the right thing to do". You're a rational Man, you make decisions based on your interests and capabilities. You like your girl but you can't offer her marriage (at least, not yet), she can take it or leave it.

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  • its simple, just don't get married.

    tell her that you don't need a damn ring and a bunch of lousy paper work to proof her the love you got for her. obviously, you been with her for 3 years really proofs it all.

    but yea, the reason why people fiend for marriage is because they can't find the cure to that disney princess syndrome that most people be having now a days. but screw them! you make a difference and go against it

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  • That's crazy...the last thing I wanted at 21 was to be married.

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  • 21 is too young for most people to get married imo

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  • The best thing to do is let her know how you feel, if your not ready to get married anytime soon, she needs to know, hell your still in college, and more then likely don't have a real job, it makes sense why you don't want to get married.

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  • It's completely ridiculous for your girlfriend to expect to get married when you're only 21 and still in college. These days many guys aren't getting married until their 30s if at all.

    If she wants to marry young, she should find some kind of religious cosnervative guy.

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