So I am married for 3 years now, I am 26. My husband brought up the "kids" convo the other day... I just don't feel like having kids yet, nor I think I want them in the future. My husband was so upset when I told him I am just not ready yet that I couldn't tell him that I think I will never want one. (Before getting married we talked about kids and I felt fine about it). The thing is, I just don't see myself as a mother anymore. What I have now (husband and my own life) seems like enough for me. Should I tell my husband that I don't feel like having kids ever or at least for like 5 years more or should I wait till he starts talking about it again. I'm scared he might leave me because of it (not like this minute but after some years when he realizes he wants kids and a family and stuff). How long can I put off a conversation like this?
Most Helpful Guy
You need to think long and hard about what you really want in your life, and I don't mean in the next 5 years, I mean overall. You need to think about what the absolute most important things are to you, and what you most want to accomplish by the time you expire.
You can still leave behind a legacy that makes the world a better place, such as charitable donations, business & community initiatives, tangible assets, and so forth. You'll just never be able to leave behind a living/breathing legacy that carries on the love and values you've taught them. Many people (and probably your husband) hold the latter in higher regard. Think about why they do that.
If you still feel like you don't want to be a mother, realize you've broken a very significant promise (whether explicitly expressed or implied), and it could be a deal-breaker for him. Is it worth losing him?
Another possibility is that you're just afraid of childbirth, or failing as a mother. If this is the case, I promise you he will be much more understanding of that than just saying you're not sure you want to be a mom. Talk to him about it and tell him where this feeling is stemming from. There are also numerous alternatives such as using a surrogate or adopting. Think about that too before you reach any major conclusions.0