Affairs in a marriage

I have just seen a documentary on a woman killing her husband because of an affair. It sparked a question.

This question is mainly for women above 25. Imagine that you are 15 years into a marriage. You have several kids and you have an established life with your husband. Everything is going perfectly, you are rich and have a great family life. However, you find yourself lacking enough time for your husband. You work long hours, and spend your free time with your kids. Your husband starts an affair. You find out and you confront him. He tells you he values you and the marriage above all and that the affair is purely sexual. You will not be able to make time for your husband any time soon. How will you react?

  • You demand that he ends the affair and continue as before.
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  • You demand that he ends the affair and try to make time for him.
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  • You divorce him.
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  • You tolerate the affair but try and continue as before.
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  • You tolerate the affair but try, try to make time for him and make him end it.
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And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • "Purely sexual" is the worst form of cheating in my mind. I believe in only having sex with one person in my life and that person is my husband. So a sexual affair would be the ultimate betrayal. I would rather live my life celibate for the rest of my life than work through a sexual affair. I know that's extreme and a lot of people will disagree with me but that's how I am.

    Ideally I would like him to come to me and say, "I feel that we are losing a connection due to our conflicting schedules. I would really like to spend some time - just us - together to get us back on track. I don't want to lose us."

    That is way easier to work on than having him admit to an affair.

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What Girls Said 6

  • This is a tough one. If under those circumstances he had a stupid drunken one night stand or something then maybe I could forgive him at some point. I doubt I could ever forgive an actual affair though.

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  • B.

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  • C if I have the courage and I think I can get the kids.

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  • Divorce

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  • I voted B...plus couples therapy. IF I'm neglecting him emotionally and sexually, it's my problem too.

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  • C, divorce

    I don't tolerate cheating and I don't care if its "purely sexual"

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What Guys Said 3

  • If it's not grounds for divorce, I don't know what would. But ideally the woman (and the man) should try and keep it from getting that bad. If he's not feeling he's getting enough attention (or her) they should talk about it first -_- why can't people grow up before they get married?

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    • there was grounds for divorce before cheating even happened

  • they will take half your sh*t and 20% of your check for each kid

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  • If I were in that, I would B.

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