I'm engaged but slept with a coworker, should I tell my fiance?

Currently I am engaged to a man that up until a few months ago I had all intentions of marrying him. For the past few months I have begun to question what I truly want out of life, and I can't see my fiance in it. We are best friends but I no longer am in love with him, I only love him as a friend. I made a mistake and I cheated on him with a coworker a few weeks ago. I'm still friends with this coworker as well, we see each other almost every day and text most days as well. Even though I do like him I'm not looking for any kind of relationship with him, I just want to remain as friends and we haven't talked about hooking up again or anything like that. I realize that I have to end things with my fiance, I should have never cheated on him and I'm a terrible person for doing so, but its happened and I can't really take it back. Should I tell my fiance that I cheated? I feel guilty, but I'm going to hurt him a lot when I break up with him, I'm not sure if telling him would be a good thing to do. I don't want to hurt him anymore than I will by breaking up with him...


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Most Helpful Girl

  • He deserves to know. You've betrayed his trust and additionally, may have put him at risk for STDs (even if you used a condom, they don't protect against everything). Your partner deserves to make an informed decision regarding whether or not he wants to be with you/marry you. Don't build a marriage on lies.

    Be completely honest with him, and if he's willing to forgive you and work on your relationship, you should be willing to do whatever you need to do to gain his trust again---including cutting contact with your coworker.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Well if you're definitely going to be breaking up with him, then no, he doesn't need to know really...

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    • I agree, that would just make him more paranoid for his next girlfriend. But please make sure you do break up with him.

  • Don't worry about cheating on him, easily more than 50% women do it. It's just what women do.

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    • Human being cheat women are human being so they cheat same thing for men. So stop blaming the women population for your poor choice of dating.

    • Actually, I've never cheated.

    • That's a messed up way of looking at it. And men and women cheat about equally, it's not a woman thing.

  • If you wanted to stay with your fiance, you would have to tell him.

    But since you're breaking up with him anyway, don't tell him. It'll cause him needless pain and humiliation.

    My advice is, break up with him as soon as possible. Every second you're still with him, you're wasting your time and his.

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What Girls Said 5

  • Girls like you are the reason so many men are butt hurt in the internet. Why would you cheat. On him if you love him ? Imagine the hurt of finding out he cheated on you. And you are still friend with the guy, you work with him. Tell your fiancĂ© he's going to think you are a slut who cheated on him a daily basis. But you should tell him, he deserve a chance of walking away plus you'll avoid a messy divorce when he'll find out about this.

    By the way cheating is a choice a mistake is when you write 2012 instead of 2013.

    And your fiancé stays he's either too in love or too stupid.

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  • I would tell him, he deserves to know.

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  • I would say not to tell him. After all, you say that the cheating is not the reason that

    You two have grown apart. I can understand feeling guilty but there is no reason to throw gasoline on a fire and make yourself feel worse! But if I were you,I'd pump the breaks with the coworker. You are setting yourself up for one messy situation, followed by another.

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    • And to think women have always said they want honestly.. oh wait, I think that means they only want men to be honest with them.

  • Even if you wanted to stay wth him you should tell him that you cheated and let him end things or just break up ings with him and avoid him all the pain and insecurities that your affair will cause him

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  • I wouldn't tell

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