Guys, are you scared of marriage?

Guys, I frequently hear that men don't want serious relationships and that they don't want marriadge anymore. That they leave you if you mention kids. It did happen to me, but I can't believe that all men are jerks. What do you think?

Updates:
Well, well, well... Those answers really showed me that all of the magazines and TV made men hate women and vice versa. We don't understand each other anymore, don't believe in love but only animal, worthless sex. And that's what makes me sad. We should all just sit and think if guys and girls are such life threatening human beans who only want to make our life worse. And wheres the love?
For me... A marriage is not a must. I think that it makes a harder life for a woman also. That's why Id like to keep freedom, but sure- if I love him and marriage means much to him then why not?! I earn alot, much more than many men in my country and it was never an exclusive factor to pick a man I like. I want a child cause Id like to be a mom and do not look at a child as a life saving monetary thing. I want to love and Id like to be a friend with the love of my life.
I still do believe in love and in something that we will look after without financial glasses cause not every woman is a Devil looking at her child like a monetary fund. At least I do not. I just wanted to see how men think and I'm disappointed. Hope I will find a guy who is prepared to trust and love. Good luck to you all. And think about it please...

0|0
6|18

Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm not :-)

    1|0
    0|0
    • And there's no "d" in "marriage" :-P

      Be on the lookout for my new article on the history and significance of marriage and family. I'm posting it next Wednesday, which is my parents' 31st anniversary :-)

What Guys Said 17

  • Depends on your age. Older guys are actually often more concerned - they have seen friends go through divorces. without getting in to what's fair or not, I will simply state that many men do NOT feel that divorce courts treat men fairly. Whether or not that's true, that perception no doubt impacts how men view marriage.

    0|1
    0|0
    • Well- I don't get it. Its even worse if a guy gets a child outside marriadge. He doesn't even get weekends and don't even have to know its his child.

    • Show All
    • I know. But in this case I was the one with the great cash and a job and he was a student.

    • Lol. Sounds like he's not ready to be monogamous.

  • If a man isn't scared of marriage he should be! Only the ignorant, dim witted or masochistic men are not rightly afraid of getting married.

    0|2
    3|1
    • Explain, please?

    • Show All
    • Im talking about love, trust and WOMEN WHO WORK. I don't know why guys think that women can't make their own money. I mean- I do and I need no mans money. :-D

    • women who work also take every thing a man spends his life building just because she can. So unless a guy can see the future or what ever there is no way to know if the wonderful, sweet, loving woman you married will turn into a heartless, vindictive, evil, shrew if things don't work out for some reason in the future and the numbers say its VERY! likely things will end badly and that she will intentionally seek to ruin your life a badly as she possibly can.

      It sucks ass! but its reality

  • Yes men are weary of marriage...mainly because divorce is so common,

    and women initiated divorce over 70% of the time.

    The courts favor the woman so much with alimony payments and the assets of the man being taken away...I don't blame men for being weary of marriage.

    A guy works his ass off to accumulate whatever assets and possessions he has (savings, car, home, investment portfolio, business, etc.), dates a woman, eventually marries her ...

    ...

    ...and in almost half of ALL marriages, the wife files for divorce and automatically takes half of ALL his sh*t that he worked so hard for.

    I am NOT getting married without a prenup.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Ummm... Women don't work in your country? Id only like my ex to get out od my life. I wouldn't need his money. Actually- based on my education and income maybe id be the damaged side! :-D

    • Women DEFINITELY work in the USA, but the man in divorce court still gets shafted and loses his assets more to the woman than the other way around.

    • Dude, don't get married at all, with or without a prenup. Any divorce lawyer worth his salt can shred a prenup in court, and prenups have been dismissed by judges many times.

  • Someday that because of a bad experience or they're not ready. If you make it a goal not to commit, you're less likely to get hurt.

    0|0
    0|0
    • My goal isn't marriadge at all but a long lasting relationship and id surely like to have kids.

  • Many young men just don't care about marrying or not. That does NOT mean they're jerks.

    0|2
    0|0
    • I don't even think that marriadge is a must but ud have to be mature enough to plan a future and kids with someone. And not run away cause that's what kids do. I'm into living together with no papers.

  • We're more scared of divorce. There is a 50% divorce rate and 70% of divorces are instigated by the wife. And anyone who looks up the statistics realizes that men get a raw deal in divorce. We can be removed from the home at will due to a false complaint of domestic violence, lose custody of children and be prevented from seeing them, lose the home and half our stuff, be forced into paying ridiculous amounts of alimony and child support (which doesn't have to be spent on the child) to the ex-wife, forced into paying child support for children who aren't our own, and when you add in truly sick and twisted laws like the Bradley Amendment, marriage is a raw deal for men.

    I myself would love to get married and start a family one day. But under the current divorce and family law system? NEVER!

    0|0
    0|0
  • Im not scared of marriage, I just want to find the right woman first.

    0|0
    1|0
  • So guys not wanting what you want them to want makes them jerks?

    I've been married...it kinda sucked. Most people are simply not fit for marriage -- men, or women. They'd be happier single until they're considerably older.

    Don't get me wrong, marriage can be quite awesome -- I mean, really awesome -- but making the assumption that you want marriage and everyone else should too is just crazy.

    0|1
    0|0
  • I won't get married because marriage laws are unbalanced and favour women, I'm undecided on children for various reasons. I'm not opposed to spending the rest of my life with a girl if she is worth it though.

    0|3
    3|0
    • @ the AU below who has blocked me because she isn't brave enough to debate me, I didn't complain when things favoured men because I wasn't alive then. Its hard to protest against injustice before you are even born. As for me being ugly, I can't imagine how low your self esteem must be to anonymously insult people on the internet, so chances are you are hardly the most beautiful girl around.

    • Well- you can always sign a contract in the case of divorce. But- the question was more like- why do guys get scared of even mentioning kids and future if they are in a relationship they even benefit from.

    • Pre nup agreements are hardly worth anything. The divorce court will still favour women. I don't need any relationship ratified by the state anyway. As for the kids I'm probably not the best person to ask as I'm not sure I would ever want kids (I have major depressive disorder which my brother, father and grandfather also have, I'm not sure its fair for me to have children) and on top of that I definitely wouldn't want them now as I'm only 21.

  • i think guys are scared as much as girls are because we don't wanna get married to who we think is "the one" and then it turns out s/he is not the one...unless we wanna sleep around which is a different story

    0|1
    0|0
  • Not at all guys just wait for the right girl too come

    0|0
    0|0
  • Most guys aren't scared wtih marriage. It's just their situation that's making it hard.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Why get married when half of first marriages end in divorce and women initiate divorce 75%-90% of the time? And then you lose half of everything, even your pension or private retirement fund, and custody of the kids 90% of the time?

    Better question, when we guys look at our dads, at how mom threatens to divorce him, at how women are usually bossy and overbearing in marriage... why would any of us want that?

    A poll was done, and among men ages 30-50, 27% of them had no interested in marriage.

    Among the same age group, only 8% of women didn't want to marry.

    Marriage and divorce courts are stacked against husbands, and we realize it. So the "customer" base to sell marriage to, men, is drying up. It's becoming less popular. Women still want it, because it benefits them a lot, but men aren't stupid, for the most part.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Why would a guy WANT to get married? It's no longer a good deal for men. The potential loss far outweighs any potential gain.

    It's not about being afraid of kids. A survey I read about on father's day indicates that a significant majority of men want to be fathers (and for less selfish reasons than women want to be mothers I might add) What guys ARE afraid of are having kids and losing them, then having their financial life permanently ruined to support them anyway.

    0|1
    0|0
    • And what would be the reason a woman wants to be a mother if she works and can support her child without a man? The problem is generalising that all women are the same. Why would they be?

    • Show All
    • Oh, its 21st century. I guess that no one would have anything against man on man thing if someone hates women. Its pretty OK and accepted these days.

    • In multiple studies about divorce, custody of the children was actually the primary factor in whether divorce happened or not. Knowing that they would get custody of the kids was a bigger factor than adultery in divorces, for women.

  • 90% of women cheat and divorce laws favor women. I'd like to keep 100% of my stuff and my sanity.

    Women are mostly shallow and self centred. Serves them right

    0|2
    4|1
    • Thank God men are such smart Angels... :-D

    • Show All
    • I wouldn't ask for anything from him but to leave me aloneand get outta my life.

    • Well then that's fine. I would be OK with marriage if that it is the. If it doesn't work out we go our separate ways leaving with what we came with.

  • Scared of it? No, they just don't want it. And even when they do want it, they don't have a life long obsession about it the way girls do.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Can you blame them?

    Also, who would want a serious relationship with the girls nowadays? You can get away with one night stands and FWBs all of the time. If you have done either, you shouldn't be complaining about any of this.

    1|2
    2|2
    • What made you think all girls do that?! there are still nice girls out there you know.

    • Show All
    • @confused415- Yes, that's what I meant. Sorry for any confusion if I didn't express myself properly.

      Relationships take work whereas going out and finding a girl to have sex with and even hang out if they both want to is pretty easy. What do you think most people are going to do? Especially when it seems that guys don't really take girls seriously that do that stuff all of the time.

      And again, I don't sleep around myself, so I don't need to hear any double standard stuff.

    • U say ure sorry for a confusion to confused415. That's funny! :D :D :D

What Girls Said 6

  • Look at all the misogyny on here when you mention marriage... Pathetic.

    That being said, marriage these days needs a prenup and preferably no big income difference so that one doesn't screw over the other. These guys should consider that maybe the career women fear paying alimony to a guy who lacks motivation to do anything in his life.

    4|0
    0|1
    • Yeah... I agree.. But the point is- many guys are shallow and marry chicks who only look but don't talk and don't work. And then women are guilty when those sexy Barbie dolls want them to support their plastic surgeries. I mean- I have my incomes and Id only like my ex to get outta my life and wouldn't need his stuid money... :D

    • You sound awesome, QA. :)

  • I have met guys who wanted to get married and spoke of marriage before I was even ready! However, I don't blame guys. If they divorce they are likely left with the crappy end of the bargain. They have alimony as well as child support to pay. They also have to be the man of the house which is a lot of pressure on a man with a family.

    0|2
    0|0
    • Well... I'm talking about men and women with same incomes and career. And about men and women being equal in marriage. There- there is no man of the house but friendship and support. At least my parents have that for 35 years almost. :D

  • I don't want to get married. I don't think it makes them a jerk. It also don't mean they can't have a loving and committed relationship either.

    1|2
    0|0
  • Yes, they're afraid of it. But the reason is because men are just afraid that their future wife would become nagging and annoying. If you can show your guy you're an easygoing woman, he won't have those fears and thus be more likely to commit/marry you :).

    0|2
    0|1
  • Men have always been terrified of commitment. Marriage included. Now the divorce laws favor women so now they are real chickens. But I find it funny that they complain about the laws favoring women when just 20, maybe 30 years ago, they COMPLETELY favored men. He got the kids and everything EVEN he was abusive. Why weren't men complaining then?

    2|0
    0|1
    • So I take it you would think it fair if white people were enslaved for a few hundred year to make up for the transatlantic slave trade?

      Two wrongs don't make a right.

    • Show All
    • Yep. Cruel, eh?

    • So I find it hilarious that they are crying NOW. How come men weren't complaining in favor of women when things favored men?

  • nope. men are commitment-phobes

    1|0
    0|3
Loading...