If they've been together for a considerable amount of time? I know a lot of old couples that had good marriages. Both my grandparents marriages were good in the end but in like my parents generation or younger I don't know a single couple that I would say have a good marriage.
So many are divorced and even those that aren't often say they just feel like housemates with children or one partner is cheating.
I'm asking because my boyfriend asked me to marry him and I'm really not sure I want. I mean on the one hand I could imagine staying with him for the rest of my life and I find that happy family picture very appealing. Having a good relationship, buying a house, hving children... It just seems it's also very unrealistic though. Most people I know end up miserable after their marriage
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I know of several older couples who still get along really well. At least publicly, it seems to go well. One of my mentors is in his mid 70's and he still always refers to his wife as a total babe; and he always kind of puts it across that "he lucked out." To be almost 80 and still think of your wife almost like they day you both married... I love that idea. I want that in my life. I want to look at my wife and still be happily amazed by her. I want to think of my future wife as a babe even when we're old.
The stats on marriage are scary. I was tempted to ask a friend of mine (a lawyer and recently married man) what the legal benefit of marriage was these days, as (legally) there doesn't seem to be very many.
Marriage isn't easy. These days a lot of people don't have as much patience for it as it would seem culturally they used to. It takes a lot of effort from BOTH parties. It takes a wisdom many people don't want to have. It takes a level of forgiveness that many don't have. It's become a lot easier to divorce (this actually can be a good thing at times); a lot easier to lie and cheat, etc. All of this makes it tougher to stay married.
That being said, I want to give it a try. I want to be happily married. In spite of all the scary stats, there are times where I'd like to believe that stuff wouldn't happen. Sometimes it doesn't happen, and you get a great long lasting marriage. A "true love" situation. I know that it will be a long time until it happens to me (if it ever does).
Only get married if you are ready. If deep down you know you have a LOT of issues that need addressing before you get in too deep, work on those BEFORE marriage. If he has a lot of issues that give you a real pause, then don't do it. If you can barely afford bills, and he can barely afford bills, then don't get married. If you're not on your own yet, and he isn't, consider waiting. If you're just waiting as an excuse, or because of small issues, but really want to marry him, bring it up to others. Have an older couple that can help mentor you. And by all means, if you love him, feel like you guys are both a logical and emotional fit, then best of luck to you both.