Looking to see what people think. Dating a guy almost 5 months, we randomly got talking about marriage, kids etc (more in a jokey way as we know its far too soon for this kind of discussion :P). I already had a feeling he had reservations about ever getting married and now he has confirmed it. He is not religious at all (like me), in fact we are both quite anti religion. He also feels its just a piece of paper and doesn't change how people feel about each other or their level of commitment and he is generally one to not conform to societal "norms"/ "expectations". I actually agree mostly with him but feel if I was having children (he does seem to be open to this, he has one child already) I would need the finanical/legal security that comes with the marriage itself. I have heard that if people make wills and certain legal documents in terms of insurance etc they can have pretty much the same "rights" though as married couples? I should probably add this guy has come from divorced parents, his sister who he is close with is currently going through the same with kids involved, and a few other siblings have divorced also. He also had a rough split with the mother of his child and feels he was lucky to not have been married. So I can't really blame him for seeing marriage in a negative light. I guess I'm wondering do people feel that the actual marriage part is really necessary, and any girls in particular feel they could stay with a guy without this. I feel like we could have something really great and don't feel like walking away over this as its far off in the future but also its an important issue and if I grew more strongly in the future about getting married it would be harder to break up.
Most Helpful Girl
I'm dating a guy who is 28 and I'm 37. He's been married once and says he will not marry again. I've had a rough time with it because I'm family oriented and I've learned from my mistakes in previous marriage...but I try not to think about it for this really big reason:
You could have the man of your dreams lying in bed with you every night. Someone who makes you happy and treats you well, but won't marry you.
You could have a nice man, whom your not as deeply in love with and 'settle' for because he is wiling to marry you.
I've learned that (thru bad relationships previously) that if you have someone in your life that makes you feel complete. PATIENCE - PATIENCE - PATIENCE will help, especially with what he's been through and what he's seen 'marriage' to become. He might change his mind in the future...subtle discussions might work. But don't expect him to change his mind..maybe if you remind yourself that, his viewpoint won't disappoint you so badly.0