Men... marriage and last names?

So how would you feel if the girl you wanted to marry wanted to keep her last name? Would you be bothered my it? Would you ever take a woman's last name?

Updates:
Since children and last names came up ... What if she wanted the children to have her last name too?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • "So how would you feel if the girl you wanted to marry wanted to keep her last name?"

    I would tell her that it's great that she wants to keep her last name and that I hope she finds a guy who would be cool with that.

    Then I would break up with her and find a gal who was willing to take my last name. I'm old fashioned. One family, one name.

    :)

    "Would you ever take a woman's last name?"

    No, but apparently Jack White did.

    "What if she wanted the children to have her last name too?"

    She doesn't take my last name AND she gives the children her last name?! It's like she's trying erase me from the picture. Just what is going on here?!

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What Guys Said 33

  • As soon as I reached the age of consent, I had my last name legally changed to Crack-Pipe-Pappy. Now, what woman in her right mind would want a name like that? Tami Crack-Pipe-Pappy" Patty Crack-Pipe-Pappy? Of course not! On the other hand, Palek Crack-Pipe-Pappy is a veritable melody of a name. I wouldn't change it for the world!

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  • I was pleased my wife took mine, not like giddy, but glad. I would have been okay if she hadn't.

    But if she wanted kids to have her name, not mine? Why are we getting married again?

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  • I'd be OK with her hythenating her last name and mine together but I wouldn't be OK with her not taking my last name at all. That's a deal breaker.

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  • I haven't known too many men who insist on their new wives adopting the man's name. And my experience goes back a couple generations. This is very common and it's usually understood to be the woman's choice. I can't think of any case where the man adopted the woman's last name. That would probably be viewed as a very subservient man. It would not be viewed positively by many. Likewise, the idea of given the children the mother's last name creates issues too. It implies that the father is only a step father and not the biological father.

    You didn't mention hyphenations. They seem like a happy medium but they tend to be too clumsy for others. Almost all of the adult children I've known with hyphenated last names insisted on using a single, usually the fathers.

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  • If her name was a part of her lively hood, then it wouldn't be as big a problem for me. Otherwise, I admit I might feel a bit hurt - I'd probably get over it, though.

    Actually, I'd think about changing my name. I don't care much for the family line as far as what the "men" have done with it. The men have had a long time history of being nasty, cruel and abusive (certain generations more than others, but...). Self righteous. Condescending. For the most part, I have worked to avoid continuing the bad behavior.

    So to me, the existing name is almost like a curse of sorts; I don't feel like the name is particularly something I'd want to keep and try to turn into a positive. I would consider changing it, if I felt I had a better one, and wanted to go through the process of name changing.

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What Girls Said 16

  • That's very interesting I never heard of a man taking a womans last name, hmm.

    Until I became a member on here, I never even knew this was an issue lol.

    I just assumed all women (aside from ones who keep there last name for

    professional resons), took there husbands last name. If I ever get married,

    I intend on taking his last name.

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  • Well, that's not a problem in my home country, since children usually get two last names, your mother's surname + your father's surname.

    When you get married, you can choose if you add your husband's surname or not (your own name can't be deleted). Some women don't because it means you get a very long name, like with 5 or more names, and it's bothersome to sign and fill in documents.

    I know of some husbands who adopted the wife's name instead (usually because she comes from an important family and the children generally get the father's surname, so for name survival purposes).

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  • My brother-in-law took my sister's last name. I don't know if I will change mine but I'm leaning towards not doing it. It would be too...disorienting. I like the idea of combining the last names with a hyphen because to me it symbolizes the partnership that marriage is.

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  • I think the woman should take the husbands last name. If my boyfriend and I get married, I'll gladly take his last name--no hyphenated bullsh*t or any of that

    Marriage is a sign of the woman growing up and merging into one with her husband.

    I just think that the man is well, the man. He's the head of the household, leader of the pack and he should be respected as the man.

    I think it's emasculating when women want the guy to take their last name. And I notice it's always women with some hidden (feminist) agenda to prove a point.

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  • I can't imagine that a lot of guys would want to change their last name. I woudn't keep my last name, just because I'm more of a traditional person. Also I would freely want to take my husband's last name.

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