I haven't known too many men who insist on their new wives adopting the man's name. And my experience goes back a couple generations. This is very common and it's usually understood to be the woman's choice. I can't think of any case where the man adopted the woman's last name. That would probably be viewed as a very subservient man. It would not be viewed positively by many. Likewise, the idea of given the children the mother's last name creates issues too. It implies that the father is only a step father and not the biological father.
You didn't mention hyphenations. They seem like a happy medium but they tend to be too clumsy for others. Almost all of the adult children I've known with hyphenated last names insisted on using a single, usually the fathers.
If her name was a part of her lively hood, then it wouldn't be as big a problem for me. Otherwise, I admit I might feel a bit hurt - I'd probably get over it, though.
Actually, I'd think about changing my name. I don't care much for the family line as far as what the "men" have done with it. The men have had a long time history of being nasty, cruel and abusive (certain generations more than others, but...). Self righteous. Condescending. For the most part, I have worked to avoid continuing the bad behavior.
So to me, the existing name is almost like a curse of sorts; I don't feel like the name is particularly something I'd want to keep and try to turn into a positive. I would consider changing it, if I felt I had a better one, and wanted to go through the process of name changing.
As soon as I reached the age of consent, I had my last name legally changed to Crack-Pipe-Pappy. Now, what woman in her right mind would want a name like that? Tami Crack-Pipe-Pappy" Patty Crack-Pipe-Pappy? Of course not! On the other hand, Palek Crack-Pipe-Pappy is a veritable melody of a name. I wouldn't change it for the world!
I have no problem with women keeping their last name. What I hate is the hyphenated bullsh!t. It an unsustainable system. Because what about the next generation? What if their kid marries another hyphenated-name kid? "Hi, my name's Jennifer Smith-Williams-Jones-Johnson." F*ck outta here...
To be honest, I never understood that. Both people should be able to keep their name, but then that would create the dilemma of what their children's last names would be. Maybe...the boys keep the father's last name and the daughters keep the mother's last name?
No I wouldn't take a woman's last name. I'd be fine if she'd want to keep her's. I'd like her to take mine, but fine if she didn't. Ultimately if she didn't want to take mine I'd than suggest we combine last names like they do in some cultures
I think it's sexy when a woman decides to take your last name when you get married. As for taking her last name, it's not something I intend on doing (I'm more of a traditionalist, from chivalry to last names), but I'm not clairvoyant, so you never know...
If a woman wants to keep her own last name, that's her decision. However, it can cause problems when having children. Children legally take the father's last name and when going through the airport, a family friend who did this had to prove that her children really were her children, because of the difference in last names. It's not impossible, but it can get annoying.
"In a completely modern 21st century kind of way, yes it does bother me"-Marshall from how I met your mother.
I know it's a weird source to quote lol
I would be a little upset. But it wouldn't be a deal breaker. Mostly e cause I can't truly justify why it should be that way. I would want my future wife to take my last name. I would want them to want to. But if they didnt, what argument do I have? Why should she? Or why should I get to make her?
Can't really say I could blame her, she has a right to want to keep that part of her identity. I'd be willing to hyphenate and have our kids have the double name as well if it would be that important to her.
I probably would likely ever take her last name as I like mine and would want it to stay put. While I'd prefer her taking my last name, I'd be OK with her keeping hers. I however do not like hyphenated names and would not want those.
What do you mean her last name too? Like two last names? I mean I'm Latin so that's kind of not that weird and my mom kept her last name. If she wants to keep her's that's fine if she wants to add it to our children that's fine. Though I'd have to give up my philanderous ways should I ever want to get married
I'd be okay with it if she wanted to keep her last name, but I wouldn't change my name. As far as the kids and their last names, that could be tricky, but I'd suggest to her maybe hyphenate for the kids or let the kids pick which last name they want.
It would fine if she wanted to keep her last name. I think most women do want their last and their husands. I would never take a women's last name. My last name is Olivo and is kinda unique as most people can't pronounce it right. Plus I believe it's latin so maybe I am half latin and Hispanic. Plus it would feel weird to have a girl's last name. For example say her last name is Martinez, Mr and Mrs Arturo and Gilda Martinez. Now say if family members asked why you change from Olivo to Martinez? I could say my wife wanted me to take her last name. I just wouldn't know how to deal with being mad fun of.
I would never take another last name. I'm very proud of my heritage and wouldn't want to change my name and a family must have the same name. My kids and wife will have the same name as me, Sorry if I seem like a douche.
Here in Canada it's been a long time since women no longer change their name for their husband's name.Growing up in that context, I don't see any logical reason why a woman should need to change her whole identity just to please someone. If she doesn't feel any kind of attachment to it or doesn't like her name at all then why not. As for children they usually take any name the parents decide to give them at birth. Mom's name, dad's name or both. I don't like my family name at all. If I could, and I might, I'd change it legally. My kids took my loved one's family name back then. I liked it a lot, it sounded way nicer. I'm happy with that. If I loved my family name then they probably would have both names or just mine. To be honest, I'm just giving my opinion as a foreigner. It's not a super discussed subject here. People don't really care about that.
Well, that's not a problem in my home country, since children usually get two last names, your mother's surname + your father's surname.
When you get married, you can choose if you add your husband's surname or not (your own name can't be deleted). Some women don't because it means you get a very long name, like with 5 or more names, and it's bothersome to sign and fill in documents.
I know of some husbands who adopted the wife's name instead (usually because she comes from an important family and the children generally get the father's surname, so for name survival purposes).
My brother-in-law took my sister's last name. I don't know if I will change mine but I'm leaning towards not doing it. It would be too...disorienting. I like the idea of combining the last names with a hyphen because to me it symbolizes the partnership that marriage is.
I can't imagine that a lot of guys would want to change their last name. I woudn't keep my last name, just because I'm more of a traditional person. Also I would freely want to take my husband's last name.
My mother kept her last name and I never really thought much of it. My siblings and I all have out fathers last name. We travel a lot and there were never any issues at airports. As a women I intend to someday keep my last name and then any children could just have their father's last name. It's just a personal choice. I can't imagine many guys would change their name...