Has failed engagements changed your views?

For those who have had a failed engagement(s) or marriage, how has that changed your opinions on marriage (or getting engaged/married another time?)

Obviously you believed in it before, do you still believe in it now?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Married twice, first marriage ended after 4 years.

    Second marriage last 12 years, wife pasted away.

    Learned a lot of things from both marriages, as well as things about myself. I still believe in marriage, but know that no matter how much you love someone and they love you. A marriage takes hard work for it to endure.

    The one thing I see a lot with couples thinking about and getting married, is that they have this rose colored view that once married everything will be perfect.

    The biggest thing I have learned from experience, is to make sure you keep honest communication open. Once you stop talking to each other, the relationship is doomed. It is only a matter of time before little thing, become big issues that weaken and than break the relationship.

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What Guys Said 9

  • my sister went through a failed engagement , it didn't change my view of marriage in general . it did allow me to witness how unrealistic some girls become once the whole marriage thing comes up though , she definity didn't think logically a lot of the time she was with him or going through trouble

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  • Sure has, I got married at 19 I'm getting divorced at age 21. I realized I am too young and I need to date whomever I am with for years and years before I marry. It makes me never to want to get married, the legal process kills you. I am so stressed and worried, she has stolen money from me and I have gotten screwed every which way I can. Women are controlling and crazy and divorce brings that crazy side out of women period.

    I realized marriage is not something you can throw around lightly. You really need to understand what it means to be married. It is not simply living with them and spending your life with them its far more than that. Marrying someone should not complete you. That shows you are dependent upon that person, you should marry then to spend your life with someone who has all their stuff together and can enhance your life to the fullest. You really need to know everything about that person and you have to be on the same page for everything. It has really changed me and my mind set in marriage. I might never marry again it is just not worth it anymore

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  • No, not really. What has changed my views on marriage is just learning more about the significance behind it.

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  • Partly my relationships, but mostly seeing other people. Friends cheating/getting cheated on. Makes me not want to get married

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  • Married young, divorced just after the two year mark...not worth it. At all. Being single is a magical adventure compared to marriage, and marriage is just so much work.

    A lot of people say that it's hard work and very rewarding, but personally, I just didn't find it rewarding, at least in comparison to everything else that I put effort into in life.

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  • Sure. It is no guarantee. Now the DOMA can let them see how it is a farce too.

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  • I was married and have no desire to ever get married again. As soon as we were married she figured that she no longer have to put work into the relationship since she more or less had me trapped. I would rather just have a long term girlfriend that knows as soon as she stops trying that I can leave her with little difficulty. Besides marriage is nothing put a legal liability for whoever the main breadwinner is.

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  • Watching people's relationships fail has made me not want to date ever again. They always end anyways.

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  • Cousin of mine was engaged, I never met the guy...they broke it off because he was cheating

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What Girls Said 2

  • I was married and got divorced about 3 years later. I dated for a while and then I got into a serious relationship (we lived together) that lasted for a couple of years before we split up. I don't think I will ever get married again... I don't really see the point. I also don't see myself living with a guy ever again, either, but it's not because I don't "believe" in it. It has more to do with what I have learned about myself, which is that I really like being independent and I just don't thrive in a 24/7 in-my-face kind of a setup. It's just not me- I'm sort of loner and I don't enjoy having to deal with anyone every damn day. (Except for my kid, but that's totally different.) I understand that it works for some people- I just feel like it doesn't work for me. I'm not definitely ruling it out forever until I die, but I can't see myself committing to someone like that. I kind of just don't wanna. I didn't know that about myself until I tried it, though. I mean, I thought it would be fine- clearly, I was mistaken. I can't pass it all off onto the shoulders of the men I was with... a lot of it had to do with me, and who I am. But I don't think marriage is bad or anything. It's just not for ME. I have some married friends that are truly devoted to each other and are strong couples, and I think it's great. For me, it's like how some people like broccoli. I HATE broccoli but I don't think people who do like it are wrong or weird. They can eat it all day long forever- it doesn't hurt my feelings. As long as they don't try to make me eat it, we're copacetic.

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  • I have been married twice, both times as soon as we were married... The guy started acting like he owned me and that what I thought and felt no longer mattered. So, now I worry that it will happen with the next one too ... ?

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