Why won't he propose?

I have been dating a guy for over 5 years. he says that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. I know he loves me. he keeps saying that he is going to propose. he said he was going to ask me once he got this last promotion. he got the promotion and then didn't ask. then he said he was going to propose around Christmas. and he didn't. now it seems like every special occasion that comes up (like valentine's day, yesterday), I am let down because there's no ring. he recently bought us a home. we just closed on it. his actions contradict each other. he is making some moves that normally only people who are planning on getting married make. he takes care of me. he pays my bills and I am never without money. but it seems to me that he does that to get me off of his back somewhat. not that I am with him for mney. all I want is to be his wife and take care of him. what am I doing wrong? is he so comfortable that I am not going anywhere that he feels no need todo it? what do I do?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I can't speak from my own experience on the marriage issue, but one of the first things that comes to mind to me is that the word on the street is that you ladies change significantly and irrevocably after that ring goes on. My married friends all shake their head and say "Don't ever get married Sammy. " The impression is that once you get married, the fun stops and the work begins.

    And, also, if he has already said that he's going to propose and you were cool with that, then you've sort of crossed that river anyway. It's like you have said yes even though you haven't been technically asked that question, dig?

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    • Men change too. After marriage the flowers, candy, and romance suddenly ends. So don't make it one sided.

What Guys Said 1

  • It sounds like he does love you, but doesn't attach the same importance to giving you the ring ,and getting married that you do. He may just assume that you both know you are together and will get married some day, so why bother? All you can do is talk to him about it, and really tell him how it upsets you that you haven't been proposed to.

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What Girls Said 1

  • I have seen both sides, and I know what you're going through. If you have a house together, the natural succession is marriage. Especially when he says that he will. Most men want to surprise their loved ones - so he probably doesn't want to give you a ring when you expect it. It's awesome that he treats you well; note that you're extremely lucky to find a man who's willing to pay your bills! He's not doing this to shut you up, he's doing this because you are his significant other.

    The ring will come - if you rush him it'll just make him bitter that he's not doing this on his own watch. You know what you should do...go on a short trip with your girlfriends, go out and have some fun without him - do something to occupy you enough to leave each other healthy space. Your days will fly by quickly - and that special day will come before you know it.

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