How has your thoughts about marriage changed over time?

I looking to see how its developed over a lifespan.

For instance when we were young we either had married parents or divorced parents. And we didn't really know what it ment to be married. Many of us as children, I assume thought it was just something people did when we become adults.

Then we reached our teen years, and had a larger understanding of what marriage entailed.

And finally we became adults and most of us have had maybe successful and not so successful dating experiences. By now most of us have some opinion on marriage -whether good or bad.

So what I'd like to know is how your ideas of marriage changed over time and what caused those changes.

When you were a child what was your parents marital satus and opinions on marriage? Did you like the idea? Did it seem like an expectation you had to live up to? Or did you always hate the idea?

How did you feel about it as a teenager? Did it change for you? What changed it? Your parents relationship statuses? Your own personal experience? Or what you learned about culture, society, and the government?

Now, as an adult, what is your opinion? And why? Do you expect your feelings and opinions to stay the same?

How many people are single or married and somewhere different they than where they always pictured themselves at their current ages?

Updates:
Excellent answers so far! I can understand everyone's perspectives thus far, and would agree to most of what I've heard.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm going to try to answer all of the questions you asked, so there going to be one after the other starting with "When you were a child what was your parents marital satus and opinions on marriage?" Just clarifying so it doesn't look like random statements.

    My parents were married and still are.

    I never really thought about it, but I guess so. Though judging by my views now, I'll say yes.

    No, not really. It just seemed normal and I didn't feel that it was a force expectation.

    I didn't have modern feminist of a mom that made me hate the idea of it. lol

    I'd say that, for the most part, I felt the same about marriage as I did when I was younger. I was still very much optimistic, I guess. I thought it was eventually going to happen, but that's as far as my thoughts went then.

    As an adult, I go back and forth on the idea. I like the idea of marriage and think it's still a valuable thing in society. I don't buy into the "it's just a piece of paper" ideology. Many things are pieces of paper that we still see as very important, don't we? People talk about how half of all marriages end in divorce, but that isn't true. The stat was over a certain set of years and it found that there was half the amount of divorces to marriages. It was a ratio of 1:2 and somehow that was bastardized. Also, I read an article (around 2010, I think) that said divorce rates are at it's lowest since the 70's. I do think it's a fairly important institution still.

    Now, with all that being said, I am very cynical about it. I think people are forgoing love and commitment and going right to sex. You see it all around you. One night stands and friends with benefits. The ones that do get into relationships seem to fall out of "love" just as quick. I don't want to involve myself int those situations, and I don't want to involve myself with people that have/are in those situations. I don't see the point in being with a person like that. That makes my options slim. So I'm fighting with myself because I want that connection with someone, but I know there aren't that many people that deserve that kind of emotion from me. As I've been saying lately, commitment is falling, these and single mothers are rising, and how's that going to turn of for the kids and ultimately society.

    Also, someone mentioned the court systems and that's a strike against it as well.

    I don't know if my opinions on it will change or not. It's not looking good, but I think everyone should have fluid opinions on things and be able to take in new information and change based on that. It would take helluva girl (and rare to boot) to really change it. Again, I don't think it's looking good.

    And sorry for being long winded. Kudos if you read the whole thing. lol

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    • I've read those same statistics. Its funny that its common 'knowlege' that divorce rates are fifty-fifty. You have some valid opinions, I respect you're views. Thanks for answering!

What Guys Said 6

  • Great question. When I was young (teenager) I always imagined I'd get married in my early 20's, stay together forever and live happily ever after, like you see on TV and in movies. No doubt I never expected perfection but overall happiness. Now I'm 30, and have had many failed relationships, 2 children with 2 different women, and a very different perspective. Mostly because society has changed. Growing up, divorce happened, but it wasn't common. I mean don't get me wrong I knew plenty of people who got divorced, but now it's almost unusual to not get divorced. I think that takes away from the whole purpose of marriage. If I were to marry someone it would be because no matter what we're going to work it out. Relationships always have problems and people end it instead of working it out. So now I don't really see myself ever getting married, because it's unlikely I'll ever find someone that can put up with my crap forever.

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    • two children. two different women. damn man one of them better have had a kid already or you f*** one of your brothers over

    • I don't get what you're saying at all, I have two children by two different women meaning I have to "baby mama's" of course they have both had a kid, otherwise how would I have a kid with them? What does any of that have to do with messing over one of my brothers?

  • I'd say it's become more developed rather than to say it's "changed". But for all intents and purposes, what "changed" my views about marriage has been my studies into the Theology of The Body. I'm Catholic and marriage is a pretty big deal for us, so I've been studying the sacrament and why it is so important.

    My parents have been married for over 31 years now. I never really knew what divorce was until I was a few years into grade school. I really began to appreciate what marriage is later on in high school. The two girls I dated in high school came from SERIOUSLY screwed up family backgrounds, so that had a lot to do with it.

    I think today's society has a lot of misguided ideas about the significance of marriage. A lot of people seem to see it as "the thing to do" or "the next logical choice". People don't seem willing to understand what exactly is required of them when they enter into marriage.

    Personally, I think the government should just stay the hell out of marriage and family. That's all I'll say about that.

    I hope to get married some day.

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  • it went from, id love to,

    to

    maybe

    to

    holly sh*t the government is out to f*** men over

    hell no

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  • I went from thinking vaguely of it to thinking of it as a legal agreement to thinking of it as a pointless activity to thinking of it as an economic contract to thinking of it as a social binding tool to just not thinking about it anymore. If it comes, it comes, but there will be no big party because of it.

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  • Marriage to me now is just a piece of paper. There is no absolute good in that or anything else in life lulz..

    People often confuse culturally accepted norms with absolutely needed things.

    There also is no evidence that humans are inherently monogamous or polygamous.

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  • I always wanted to get married when I was growing up. Now I just don't see the point of marriage. It doesn't mean anything. People can walk away and destroy their family way too easily for me to believe a piece of paper is actually going to mean anything. At most being married means that one of the two people will start to feel complacent and start to neglect their partner. I wish marriage meant more than that, but it doesn't. Besides watching how bad my father got screwed in the divorce, makes marriage look like financial suicide.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Haven't really changed ever, I don't believe you have to get married,I believe it is a personal choice, always have.

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  • I use to think marriage was something to look forward to when its the right time, but once my parents got divorced I figure what's the point of being married if your going to throw all the years you spent together away...you would just be wasting your time with someone your not even sure you really want to spend the rest of your life with...

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  • My parents weren't married, they only lived together and I always thought they had a perfect relationship only because I didn't know they had arguments, and I was a child, so everything was perfect. They separated when I was 9. I didn't understand why. I only found out the reasons when I was a teen.

    Their separation didn't change my views on marriage (even though they were not married) and I really never thought about it.

    When I was 17, I was proposed by a guy from my school. I had a crush on him. I knew he was just joking but I start thinking about the idea of marry him and it seemed good to me. I was excited and really belived that I could marry him someday.

    Then I realized I was being silly and naive and I forgot the idea.

    Now, I know that I don't want to get married. I've seen so many people getting divorced, so I start to view marriage as a negative thing. I can't imagine having someone wanting to marry me. I can't imagine myself wearing a wedding dress. I never dreamt about my wedding dress like many other girls.

    Plus, I'm 21, I never had a boyfriend and I don't see it happening in the next 5 years or more.

    So, my idea of marriage changed over the time but it was never a dream or a need. And I'm 100% sure that my current opinion won't change.

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    • I've had the same thoughts and feelings as you. Thanks for responding!

    • You're welcome :)

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