How do I get myself to 100% trust my husband?

I don't trust my husband 100% because in the past he was an addict I'm OK with that but in the back of my mind I always thinks he will use again he was clean when I met him and still is but I really can't get it out of my head and stress myself out I just need some good advise right now


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What Guys Said 2

  • Listen. I am an addict.

    Don't make this about trust. Number *one*. He doesn't owe you clean veins. Lets get that laid down right now. This is *not about you*. Start thinking of it like that. This is not about you. He isn't clean for you. He probably says he is, or something along those lines, but it's cruel of you to make it about you. It's about him. He needs to be clean for him.

    And if he relapses, you're gonna be there to hold his hand, and support him, and get him through it, okay? And you're gonna be there for him, because an addict is a very, very vulnerable person, and an addict is scared, an addict is doomed, and an addict is lonely, an addict needs his wife. And if he does relapse, you're going to prepare yourself for living the rest of your life with an addict. And you're gonna be okay with that. You're gonna be okay with living the rest of your life with an addict.

    Otherwise you leave him right now. Okay? He's not your conditional affair. He's not your love oh but not if he uses again. If you love him, you love him even if he relapses, and even if he never gets clean again.

    Okay? And once you're okay with that, you'll actually be a decent person, yeah? And then you won't be worried. And not only will this not make you worried, but this is the only way to make you an okay person. That's the truth.

    But, from an addict - *it's okay*. You're gonna be scared, and stressed out. I understand it's difficult to be with an addict. Lord knows I know what it's like to be around an addict. And it's okay to be anxious of that. But you just have to breathe, and take a step back. Just remember, it's not about you, and you have no right to tell him not to or not. Just stop trying to take control of that. Let it go. It's him, it's up to him, and you should support him no matter what. Yeah?

    This is a thing - you clean freaks always think we owe you something, and you think you can control us. And that's abusive, and that has to stop. And what I'm saying is: it's okay to be scared! It's okay to worry! But this is *not* about trust. Stop making this about he owes you something, cos he doesn't.

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    • Thank you for that

    • It's okay. I hope I wasn't too harsh about it, or anything. This is just a thing addicts come up against a lot, I guess. I think you're a good person though!

  • May I suggest talking to people who deal with things, you know any organizations, people etc who help people with addictions. They're obviously more knowledgeable about these things. You should try talk to them, any worries you have. Possibility of relapsing, reasons someone might relapse, best way to handle it etc. At some point you're going to have to be honest with your husband about this, because trust is important. And that's the only way you can come to a point where you might be able to trust him 100%.

    So I would definitely encourage you to talk to someone more knowledgeable, and better insight in regards to this issue. You can also try online forums, fb etc.

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