My fiance had a combat flashback and broke my fingers in his sleep, now I just don't really feel safe with

him anymore. I don't know what to do about it. Obviously I still love him but I can't really relax next to him anymore. I know I grew up sheltered but that was the worst thing anyone has ever done to me.

I knew he was in the army and send abroad at some point, but that was years before we even met, there were never any issues. Appearently what happened was that I hugged him in my sleep and he felt fingers around his throat and interpreted it as threat. I honestly just woke up from the pain.

His parents are loaded and most of the time we live on this small private island off sout florida, it took me ages to get to the hospital. Then I had a really awkward 2 hour talk with a police officer about my relationship. They didn't believe at all that is was accident. Idk, overall I just thought it was really traumatic.

I slept outside the past few nights, I know it makes him feel guilty but I just can't sleep next to him anymore. And honestly, I feel moving out completley. Is that selfish?

I also don't know what to tell him? I could say that it's alright, but that'd be a lie. What would you want your girlfriend to say guys?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't believe this unfortunately. "Combat flashbacks" don't manifest from sleeping but more-so when they are in situations that are similar to a traumatic event from the past. These people need support and not to be let go or most of all forgotten. You can contact your family doctor and ask if your doctor has experience treating Veterans or can refer you to someone who does. You could also see a mental health professional, such as a therapist. Your local VA Medical Center or Vet Center and the VA specializes in the care and treatment of Veterans and can assist with PTSD. Then of course there is always a spiritual or religious advisor

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What Guys Said 4

  • He broke your fingers in his sleep! That's outrageous. I only break my wifes fingers when we're both awake to enjoy it.

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  • Therapy therapy therapy.

    Also, sleeping in two beds is entirely reasonable (and not uncommon)

    And more therapy. Find someone who knows a lot about this sort of thing, and get advice there.

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  • My uncle served in Iraq and a similar thing happened when his sister went to wake him and he jumped out of bed and pointed the gun he had under his pillow at her and told her to get back until he realized where he was. Please don't leave him, he probably feels horrible and he needs your support now more than ever. Try and get him to a counselor who has worked with veterans before and be there for him.

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  • Can't fix everyone. Move out and stay away. It takes a few years (I know from experience) to get over ptsd.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Everyone makes mistakes, and personally I would be a little freaked too. Just try to laugh about it with him. Don't let it be that one thing that breaks up you two.

    Maybe see a doctor for him about it and make sure that it won't happen again. If this is the only time it has happened, it probably won't again.

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