Do you think its perfectly fine to have sex before marriage?

Please comment and also do the poll!

  • Yes, it is fine to have sex before marriage whatever the circumstances
    38% (21)45% (15)40% (36)Vote
  • Yes, but only in extremely special relationships
    41% (23)36% (12)39% (35)Vote
  • No, nobody should have sex before marriage
    21% (12)19% (6)21% (18)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Firstly I'm not Christian (or anything else for that matter). Second, I (and many other men) think that sex IS important (sorry ladies). Some people just will never be compatible on that front, even if they are perfectly compatible on the personality front. Getting married with someone you haven't slept with is like playing the lotto; even if your personalities are compatible, it is completely random if you will get along in bed. I don't get along with my wife anymore (she changed; we did at the beginning) in bed, and I have been borderline suicide for years because of that. I personally think the risk of "not being compatible" is just too great to take the chance. If you take the chance and it doesn't work out, you will be faced with the choice between divorce and being miserable for all your life. If it matters to you, then wait until you got engaged, but before you got married. Like that you still have time to back up, if it doesn't work.

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What Girls Said 24

  • I never thought I would get married. I wasn't having much luck with men, and after two ugly relationships I didn't even consider getting married; since I didn't want to stay celibate due to being single, I had sex before I got married.

    Personally, I don't have a problem with premarital sex.

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  • I think it's sad that waiting until marriage is now the exception, not the rule, but times have changed. I'm a realist, so I understand that it rarely ever happens. In my opinion, sex *should* be something that happens between two people who care deeply about each other (and are prepared to deal with the consequences). People who say that sex is "just sex" and that we shouldn't make a big deal of it are jaded in my opinion. To me it's not about withholding sex, it's about making sure that you don't regret making yourself completely vulnerable to someone. And more importantly, it's about self-respect. If you respect yourself, you'll realize not just anyone can break off a piece of that, and that being with you isn't a right, it's a privilege to be earned. When you respect yourself, others respect you, and those who do get to be with you will appreciate that they are one of the few who earned that privilege, not another one of the many who put in minimal effort, got what they wanted, and went on their way.

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  • I believe that sex is a sign of true intimacy, and if you have sex before you get married then you will never experience the full beauty behind marriage, commitment, and intimacy the way it was intended.

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    • Intended by who... God, the bible, a book?

      We are human and I hate the idea of a god choosing my sexual beliefs, ideas, and intentions. Satan is NOT prowling for the heart of my soul by wanting me to have sex. And no I don't mind people who do wait till marriage, it's your decision. I just hate limiting my relationships by limiting my humanity.

    • I'm not going to argue with you because I know it's pointless. I just wanted to acknowledge your comment, and say that when I'm happily married and among one of the most sexually satisfied people in the country, and you're there with an STD and completely unsatisfied, then we'll talk.

    • I agree.

  • Depends on the person I think. Some people may feel unsatisfied if they get married and never have had another sexual experience with someone besides their spouse, but other people might find it more exclusive and all the better to wait for one person.

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  • personally I think its a personal choice that needs to be made by each person regardless of religion or beliefs, each person must think for themselves and figure out why they want to wait or not, because their are a lot of other things to consider when you want to make that choice, I highly admire people who do wait, unfortunately I didn't and I regret that only because of the person I chose to lose my virginity to, but I reevaluated my situation 5 years ago and decided to wait to have sex again until I was married because I wanted to make sure that the person I chose to have sex with would understand how important it was to me

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  • I voted B. I think there is nothing wrong with having sex but that's only if you do it with someone you truly love and someone you are in a relationship with, someone who is very serious with you and someone who loves you. It is not right to have sex with just anyone. I believe that we all have the right to do what we want but we should not forget about respecting our own bodies. We should only have sex with someone we love and not with someone we don't even know at all just to have fun. For me, it's ok to not to wait for marriage as long as we respects ourselves and our partners and we do it with love and with someone we are in a very serious and special relationship with.

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  • Do whatever feels right. I have sex with my man, it feels right. If it was something that bugged me then sure, I'd wait for marraige. I know a lot of people who are totally against it but they want to have sex with their man so bad. If it's something you want, why wait?

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  • if it was perfectly fine to have sex in every relationship youd have a whole slew of sexual partners before you ended up in a long-term monogamous relationship. then you increase the chances of std's, unplanned and unwanted pregnancies and baggage from failed relationships. if two people decide they want to spend the rest of their lives together and they are both mature adults, I can understand that. of course that's assuming both parties are honest with each other.

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  • TO ME ITS NOT, BECAUSE I AM A CHRISTIAN,

    BUT EVERYONE SINS NOW AND THEN IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN ; )

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  • sex is something you have to be really attracted to some one else or you just really understand each other ,i see sex as a ritual for that it should be in a type of special realtionship most people think its just a game ,have sex with that person then the next it should be with a singel person,not many

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  • I think its a personal choice and that if you do decide to make that choice it should be a choice that isn't made in the moment. Really think about it so you don't regret it in the long run. Make sure it is with someone you can see yourself with.

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  • I think you should do what ever you feel is the right thing to do, I myself don't feel like you have to wait till marriage.

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  • each to their own but I'm a no sex before marriage girl!

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  • If you decide to do it, it's fine, it's your choice but there's no way I am having sex before marriage and I'm going to make that clear to every bf.

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  • im a christian so I think no.

    but we have to be realistic.. that's just not how the world works anymore.. unfortunately

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  • Voted b. Only in exclusive relationship

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  • What about the people who don't want to get married, will they have to live their life sexless?

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  • I voted B, I believe you have to be in love with the person at the time to have sex. Basically being in a committed, long-term, serious relationship would be the circumstances for me personally.

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  • No its definitely best to wait!

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  • yes

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  • At 18 I would really say no, but that's not how kids to it now days. IF you want a really good relationship in life I would say save yourself for that special gal. Wait until you are at least 21 - and make sure there won't be any babies. A sexual relationship needs to be entered into with a lot of maturity and not with just the hormones raging wild.

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  • It's a personal and individual choice for everyone.Everyone has their own take on sex and what it means.I think it's good as long as you're in a relationship with the person,and you both have the same expectations

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  • if I didn't have to go through rape, then yes. I have always believed not to have sex before marriage

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  • I think, that if two people are in a committed relationship then sex before marriage is fine. At least, I would never just hook up with random people for the hell of it--but, I don't see why someone should "save themselves" for marriage if they don't want to. I mean, people can do whatever they want, but anything outside of a committed relationship, like random and lots of random hook ups, is kinda questionable.

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What Guys Said 13

  • I think people put undue emphasis on exploring sexual compatibility before marriage. Everybody already knows the religious arguments so I will leave those to the side for a moment, although they just might be the most important. A number of studies have shown that individuals who have sex before marriage, especially if they have sex with somebody else in addition to the person they end up marrying, are at more than a 50% greater risk of future divorce than individuals who wait. Also, individuals who have more than one premarital sexual partner are more than 2.5 times as likely to cheat on their spouse compared to individuals who have only ever slept with their spouse. With 50-60% of marriages ending in divorce by about age 45-50 (for individuals born since 1945), this increase in divorce probability is not insignificant. Individuals who claim that sex before marriage is never wrong are more than 10% more likely to experience divorce than those who think sex before marriage is always wrong.

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  • Sex is a form of bonding - if you and your partner feel it is the right time for this type of bond, I believe that opinion should be respected ; of course this has limitations - for instance those younger than 16 years of age should need parental guidance if and when they choose to do so.

    Sex only at marriage imho is more for religious cultures where they celebrate celibacy. For just the generic public that don't apply to these "rules" and/or "restrictions" I believe it is up to the couple and the timing. Obviously, you could have the best couple in the world, but if her dad just died or his mom is the hospital ... sex probably wouldn't be appropriate.

    Though, in another aspect, I do think this is a great thread/question for getting everyone riled up on girlsaskguys.com ^_^

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  • IMO waiting until marriage is a bad idea, but giving it up to whoever also is as well. You should do it with the person you plan to one day marry, even though you may not be married yet.

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  • That's a tough question, most of the time people regret who they gave it up because the other half turned out to be not what they had wanted at all. Could waiting had prevented that? I don't know. But what I do think, is that the longer you wait, the more experienced you become in finding out who is really after you for you, and not your body. If you find someone who really likes you and makes you a deep priority in their life, then I think that person is genuine enough and eventually sex will come obviously. Having sex so soon, rarely has any benefits and usually more consequences. But finding the right person makes all the difference.

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  • Of course it is alright. It should be required by law. You would not buy a pair of shoes without trying them on, but you would consider a wife without checking the fit? That just does not make sense.

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  • i think sex in serious relationships is perfectly fine one night stands not so ok. I think there should be some meaning and some emotions behind the sex and not just to get laid..

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  • Religion aside, I think there are some good benefits to waiting. You both start something new with no baggage so you won't be thinking about how you measure up to past partners. Sex is something you both learn and grow in together.

    No breakup is easy, but there are strong emotional bonds developed through sex that don't will make breakups that much more painful.

    A buddy of mine in college related an experience hooking up with a girl at a party for his first time. He left disappointed because it wasn't anything special, no emotions, just physical. Left him with the impression that sex was overrated. Having waited myself, sex with my spouse is as fulfilling as I could have imagined and I feel sorry for my friend.

    As for "test driving the car" who ever buys the opened box sealed up with clear tape on the shelf when a shiny new shrink wrapped box is next to it? You can figure out your "compatibility" with a potential marriage partner talking with your clothes on. Honestly, more people get divorced over money and finance differences than they do about sex.

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  • Yes

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  • Virginity is a figment of the imagination thought up by some Roman two thousand years ago.

    But even I wouldn't have sex with just anybody, but that doesn't mean I'm going to say it's wrong for someone else to have sex with whomever they want, so I voted A.

    No need to wait until marrige, in fact I highly reccomend against it, as Monster and a few others said, would you buy a car without taking it for a test drive first? Same concept.

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  • Everybody should have sex before marriage

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  • if you are a christian Jew Muslim God forbids it I'm siding with god. My answer is of course its wrong.

    my secondary reason is if I ever have sex I want it to be with somebody I truly love and no one else its just Gross other wise.

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  • Well, sex is gonna a lot better if you are doing it with one person and same with your partner don t waste your viginity it s the most precious thing you have even more precious than life itself think about it

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  • It's definitely best to wait!

    but unnatural, and difficult unless you're an antisocial eunuch.

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