Why do weddings have to be big, expensive things?

Like why should that matter? It doesn't have to be. That is not what is important about it. People are so shallow.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • As someone who is getting married and planning a wedding - the big weddings are so materialistic and frankly, they are contrived. It should not be about the wedding, the food, the dress, etc. The wedding should be about two people coming together in love and commitment to each other, and a merger of their respective families.

    Those shows on TV about people planning weddings make me sick, to be honest. They go to so much trouble and worry about every little thing. Things that do not need to be fretted about.

    My own wedding will be fairly small. Just the important family in attendance and no more than 50-60 guests (friends and +1's) at the reception. I KNOW that it will be perfect no matter what. My parents never even had a real wedding - they just signed the license with an officiant down at the government office. They are still married.

    People go into debt when planning weddings like this, and that is a terrible way to start out your life together. No wonder why divorce rates over money issues are so high. All that money should be put towards a house or some other big, necessary expense or into a savings account (if you already have a house).

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    • I'm not going to answer because this is what I wanted to say :] ahah my friend called his engagement off because his fianc?e was being too b*tchy about their wedding being perfect and big and expensive.

    • He did the right thing.

What Girls Said 11

  • No idea. I think it's silly to spend so much money in a wedding. If I ever get married, I won't have a big and expensive wedding. In fact, I will be married in my jeans. I don't even want a wedding dress.

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  • They don't have to be. Mine won't be. I don't even want a wedding. I just want a party and a cake. That's literally all I care about. The cake. You can keep the rest of the wedding

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  • my go went to city hall after my great gm found them f***ing ;p

    they were very happily married for 68 years until they were killed in a car accident. they were still very healthy and happy together.

    i don't plan to marry but if I do no way am I spending anything in a stuffy wedding. 5 minute speech from justice of the peace. then I do. I do. and were out the door. NOTHING about weddings is appealing to me. its the last thing id want todo with my free time.

    id use the money for practical things- or to travel ;-)

    an yeah if you love someone I don't think you need to rove it by spending a bunch of money to bore all your friends for a few hours. you're compensating.

    bigger the wedding smaller the love. IMO.

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    • your go? and whose fault was the accident? Sheesh. :/

      why would you not married?

      and traditionally the brides father(or I guess both sides nowadays) pay for it.

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    • women were recognized as property of the man under the law. independent of whether the couple loved each other or not.

      a benevolent slave master is still part of the slave system. the person enslaved still recognized as a slave under the law.. w/e their particular relation to each other.

      as well many couples did not love each other were not even kind towards each other.. but it was not the woman who had the right to beat or toss her husband out on the street with no means to survival..

    • This. I agree with everything you said. Also, I love the story about your grandparents!

  • It's not about being shallow, it's about wanting eveything to be perfect and memorable . You only get to do a wedding once (unless you are fond of divroce, lol), and I feel like it should be AWESOME! I want to feel like a princess, have a beautiful Vera Wang dress, flowers everywhere, have my family from all over the world attend, gourmet food, music, etc.

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  • If you have the money, it's a celebration of the beginning of a new life. No offence, but I find the only people who are really against nicely financed weddings are the ones with no money.

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  • I don't know. I personally prefer smaller weddings. They feel a lot warmer, somehow. Big and expensive weddings sort of intimidate me, and they feel a lot more stale and boring.

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  • Because it's a very important event and one of the biggest parties/celebrations of your lifetime that you get to host while being an honored guest. Unless someone feels marriage is disposable and marries like seven times in life. But I don't get why people go so hard in having a big wedding out of their budget, now that's a bit much and superficial.

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  • They don't have to. And most certainly I think they shouldn't, specially if the couple can't afford to waste so much money instead of saving it for something that's actually useful.

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  • They don't have to be big but people like to market bog since they only happen once. I'd prefer some simple and modern

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  • Because people want it to be momentous occasion, and they have the money to spend on it.

    I'm not concerned with a perfect and expensive wedding for myself. I'd be happy with a small wedding, good food and lots of alcohol.

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  • I wonder too...I don't see the need. I rather have honeymoon wedding just the two of us

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What Guys Said 11

  • Some people like it, some don't. Personally, I don't agree with going into a huge amount of debt for it, or the "bridezillas" who scream if everything isn't perfect, but if you have the money, and it's not horribly gaudy or opulent, go ahead.

    Just have to keep the priorities in check. It's not JUST a wedding, but a celebration of (hopefully) the love of two people and their families and friends (that love them). Some people get so stressed about the wedding, and then they make more stress for themselves because they feel they have to "outdo" the wedding or keep that going. The focus should not just be the wedding, but the life together afterward.

    Otherwise more power to them.

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  • Another anonymous coward...

    Whatever: Our wedding was in Switzerland during a holiday trip. Not including the costs for the trip itself (which we would have undertaken anyway), we spent less than 2000US$ (which is extremely little in Europe, I don't know about the US).

    It was great, people loved the gathering especially at the dinner. Our sermon was evangelistic and lead to the conversion of two guests and the whole event surely lifted some people a step or two on the Engel Scale. Therefore we had a great impact for very little money.

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  • I don't know. I personally hate the idea of a big, expensive wedding. When I get married I hope for it to be small and moderately priced, but ultimately that'll be up to my future wife, because the wedding itself is usually a much bigger deal for the the bride than the groom.

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  • Exactly. The orchestra, buffet and expensive beach trip won't last forever, but photos will.

    I want a small church wedding.

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  • They don't. But the expenses can add up fast

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  • It's suppose to be a once in a life time kind of opportunity. Possibly even the best day of your life.

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    • That doesn't mean that you have to drop like 30 or 40 grand on it though. You can spend less than 10 and still have the best day of your life.

    • You can't really argue with the enhancement of other people's wedding. Especially if they can easily afford it

    • If they can afford it, there's no issue for me. They can do what they want. It's the people who obviously can't afford the big wedding ceremonies, but go so far over budget to get one, that bother me. I don't understand why people can't have a wedding within their financial means.

      Some people just don't want a big wedding no matter how much money they have. Like me. I want my wedding to be a more intimate event with few people.

  • I agree. Big expensive weddings are unnecessary. Couples often spend $20-30k on them, and honestly, it's just smarter to take most of that money and put a sizeable down payment on a house.

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  • Why? Because women define themselves by how much they can make their friends jealous on that one single day.

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  • Weddings have to be big and expensive because that's what women want. If it were up to men, we would probably have nothing but common-law marriage.

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  • Girls like attention...

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  • Cultural conditioning.

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