How do I stop my controlling ways?

I am a 29 year old woman and I feel like my controlling behavior is immature. How do I learn to go with the flow, and stop trying to control my husbands every move? I have trust issues because he has lied to me many times and hid things from me in our past 5 years of marriage. How do I learn to trust him, and allow myself to feel at ease when he goes places and to believe that he really is where he says he is? I don't like being controlling, I try to stop myself before I begin. But its really hard when he tells me he wants to go to the bars with his friends, I feel like bars are for single people not married people. I know I need to work on trusting him, or our marriage will fail, so any advice on how to do so will be greatly appreciated.


Most Helpful Guy

  • It isn't your job to trust him. You only have to give him the chance to earn your trust. The rest is up to him. A lot of people wouldn't feel comfortable with their partner hanging out at the bar. If he is the kind of guy that loves going out with the guys at a bar, and you are the type of person that it bothers, then it may be that the two of you just aren't compatible.


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What Guys Said 2

  • If he lies to you, leave him and find someone you can trust. That's the first step. The hard step is actually trusting that person. If you feel like you always have to be in control, that's just part of your personality. Make sure your new guy is a submissive type that wants to be controlled.

  • Actually , since I married in 1971 I nearly never went to a bar, but I'm a nonconformist. Other guys seem to like going to bars.

    The real question is IMHO : "Does your husband cheat on you or not?", rather than "Does he always tell the truth? Do you REALLY need to know where he is?"

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What Girls Said 1

  • When you find out, let me know. I am in the same boat as you.